


Part of Me

by kenken_chan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood and Injury, Cheating, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Minor Krista Lenza | Historia Reiss/Eren Yeager, Miscarriage, One-Sided Levi/Petra Ral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-07-06 22:56:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 63,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15895821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenken_chan/pseuds/kenken_chan
Summary: After a rough breakup with her fiancé, a 24 year old Mikasa takes a trip away to retrieve her strength and work on her new life, when she comes across Levi; an engaged man looking to recover from a past accident. Paths cross, others part, and pieces start to fall together. [RivaMika/LeviMika]





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> If you're coming here and thinking "This is familiar", it's most probably because you've read the old version of this, which I posted on a different account. I've abandoned it for years because of personal reasons, but thanks to my friend I finally got the motivation to work on this again. I made a significant amount of changes, and so if you're an old reader, it'd be better to start from the beginning again. The changes will be listed at the end for those who are interested.
> 
> I have to say that this story deals with some disturbing topics (mentioned in the additional tags) and if you feel you’re uncomfortable with those subjects, I’d advise against reading this.
> 
> You can also read this fanfic on:  
> -[ Tumblr ](http://kenken-chan.tumblr.com/post/177733495002/part-of-me-chapter-i-new-beginnings)  
> -[ Fanfiction.net ](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13056820/1/Part-of-Me)  
> -[ Wattpad ](https://www.wattpad.com/story/161919508-part-of-me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter might feel a bit slow-paced and confusing, but things will pick up towards the end. I hope you enjoy this!

It was a bright summer day, early in the morning, when a car parked near a hotel. A young woman with long black locks leaned against the vehicle. Her dark, grayish eyes narrowed up at a figure seeming in the balcony of one of the hotel rooms. A ring slipped from her finger and fell soundlessly until it hit the hard ground, rolling in its place before lulling. Once the discarded material ceased to move, the woman shifted her weight off the car’s body to get inside it, and soon she took off, driving away.

She arrived to her timeworn apartment building in the approximation of forty minutes. Once parking her car in the mostly quiet parking lot, she took the old elevator to the third floor, where her apartment was. The moment her feet stepped inside her place, the door slammed shut wrathfully and her back pressed against it for support, for her legs seemed helpless to carry her any further, and her eyes lost in an ambiguous world. It wasn’t until her phone rang that she came back to her senses, reaching her hand inside her purse and almost getting lost in the small space before touching the object she was looking for. She got the phone out and held it up, her hazy eyes staring into the screen, reflecting the name of the caller onto them. ‘Fiancé’, it said, and the curl of her lips straightened into a thin line.

“Go to hell…” Her lips heavily parted to let out those words in the most broken voice she could ever possess, and the phone flew across the hallway in no time, slamming against a mirror hung against the wall to the side. The phone signed the mirror with a long crack before it came apart, and its pieces scattered across the wood floor.

Pushing through her godforsaken hopes, her legs dragged her into the bathroom, and her hands held onto the edges of the counter quickly, seeking support to stand still. She balanced herself up slowly, and reached into her purse once more to pull out a bunch of folded papers, and she shredded them with shaky hands before throwing them into the sink. Next she got out a lighter, and with a click, two, three, the papers caught on fire at last. The smell of the smoke caught onto her nose in no time, and a cough managed out of her throat, though she didn’t move away an inch. Instead, her eyes fixed on the mirror in front of her; on the reflection of a mere, soulless woman staring into nothingness.

 

* * *

 

The sky settled on a much darker color now, free of daylight and the air calm, bearing no more sound of chirping birds and busy streets. There was a faint breeze gently stroking the leaves as it filled the atmosphere for an instant, and then stilled.

Consciousness tugged at her lids to open, her senseless body clueless on its surroundings, strange smells, sounds, air, but familiar all the same.

Her eyes revealed an unrecognizable ceiling upon opening, though the ceiling was only one of the unrecognizable features of this place. It wasn’t her apartment; she realized, and soon her ears caught on a continuous beeping sound, before she could feel the warmth of someone else by her side in the room.

“Mikasa… darling, are you okay?!” A worried voice of a woman reached her ears, and upon turning to her right, the blurry sight vanished slowly, and she finally saw the first recognizable features in this strange environment; her mother’s.

“Mom… what are you doing here?” confusion painted her words, and as her eyes grew accustomed to the room lighting, she looked around her, trying to figure out where she was.

“How are you feeling?” Her mother wore a concerned face, and her soft hands held onto her daughter’s tightly, gently, lovingly, as her lips curled up into a warm smile.

“Am I in a hospital?” Mikasa asked, seeking confirmation, “Who called you here?”

“…Your neighbor.” The mother answered to her curiosity, and sighed, “I’m glad you’re awake again. I was so worried about you.”

“My neighbor?” Mikasa’s thin brows furrowed slightly, and her confusion faded away soon as a more knowing expression took place. She turned her head away, looking out the window, at the sky that matched the dark of her own eyes. Her lips pressed into a thin, shaky line, and she sniffled quietly.

“How’re you feeling, sweetheart?” the mother asked, squeezing her daughter’s hand lightly in her hold upon noting the tears that began forming in her eyes.

Mikasa’s eyes closed, and she inhaled a long, deep breath, and then answered with a dull voice, “I’m fine.”

A frown seemed on the mother’s face, her hands letting go of her daughter’s and retreating to her lap instead, “Honey, I’m so sorry about what happened. I wish I’d been by your side.”

“I’m fine.” She claimed, her eyes opening again slowly and meeting her mother’s, “You don’t need to worry about me... How’s dad?”

“Your father is okay. He’s home… He’s feeling a bit tired so he couldn’t come with me, but he’s alright.” The mother spoke in a most reassuring voice, and Mikasa nodded.

“I… miss him.” she murmured, breathing out heavily.

The mother tried her best to wear a cheerful smile, as she reassured, “You can come stay with us after you leave the hospital if you like. There’s always room for you, honey, you know that. I’m certain your father will be very happy to see you again.”

Mikasa’s gaze fell away from her mother’s, and though her words were so inviting, Mikasa couldn’t hide the pain and sadness that seeped back into her face almost instantly. She shook her head lightly, hoping it would somehow rid her of those unbearable feelings, though her breath hitched, and her tears finally broke free, tracing the sides of her face in no time.

“Oh, honey…” the mother’s voice cracked as soon as the words left her mouth, and all she could do was lean closer to her daughter and pull her into a warm hug, “I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry, sweetheart. You deserved none of this.” She whispered to her, and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, “I’m here for you, so is your father, and your friends. We’re all here for you. You’re never going to be alone. I promise you.”

 

* * *

 

In about a week’s time, Mikasa’s state was stable enough for her to leave the hospital, and go back to her apartment. Her mother had gone back to her place a day later, for she couldn’t leave her husband alone much longer, though she made sure Mikasa wasn’t alone, and that her friends were staying with her to help her take care of herself until she’d fully recover.

She sat in her balcony one morning, at a round table, enjoying the fresh air and the sight of the city. Around that same table sat her friends, Historia and Sasha, who’d been staying with her the past days to make sure she was doing alright.

“It’s nice to be back home, isn’t?” Historia smiled, sipping from her cold smoothie.

“It’s nostalgic.” Mikasa nodded, and toyed with the straw of her drink.

“Don’t you miss the country, though?” Sasha asked, biting on her sandwich with a wide open mouth, “The city’s nice and everything, but I miss the peaceful life of the country, the lovely smell of fresh harvestable, the juiciness of freshly hunted meat.” She drooled at the thought, and took another, big bite from her sandwich.

Mikasa’s lips curled up slightly, “Thank you… for staying with me. It means a lot to me.”

Historia shook her head, “Don’t mention it, Mikasa. We’re your friends.”

“You have a really comfy bed, I could stay here forever just because of that!” Sasha claimed, though upon seeing the faint glare on Historia’s face, she cleared her throat and added, “And also because you’re our friend. Friends are your second family, Mikasa. We can’t leave you.”

“And plus now that you’re a single and independent woman again, you can no longer use the boyfriend excuse to ditch us. You’re stuck with us!” Historia joked with a cheerful voice, though she soon regretted her words when she saw the frown on Mikasa’s face. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to—”

Mikasa shook her head, and soon smiled once more, “It’s fine. I’m glad I have a sick leave. We have so many things to catch up on together.”

Historia’s smile brightened, and she nodded in agreement, “Yep! We’ll get you real busy!”

“Speaking of getting busy. Armin and Eren are taking a long time to come back with the new phone, should I call them?” Sasha asked.

“Sasha!” Historia yelled at the girl, her brows furrowing angrily at her.

“New phone?” Mikasa raised her brow in confusion.

“Oh!” Sasha gasped, realizing what she just did. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t supposed to say that.” She covered her mouth with her hands in regret, “I’m a terrible person. That was supposed to be a surprise. I’m sorry for ruining everything!”

Historia heaved a sigh, “It’s okay, Sasha. She would’ve found out sooner or later.” Historia then looked up at Mikasa and explained, “Well, since you broke—since you don’t have a cell phone at the moment… We figured we could all just get you a brand new one. Consider it a welcome back present.”

Mikasa blinked a couple times, “Y-you guys didn’t have to do that. I could’ve gotten one myself.”

“I doubt it.” Sasha claimed, “We’re getting you this really expensive and cool looking phone, and plus we customized it for you so that you can treasure it as a memory from your best friends. I doubt your sorry salary would buy you something like that.”

“Sasha!” Historia yelled at the girl again, slamming her palm against her forehead as a loud sigh escaped her lips.

“Oh my god. I wasn’t supposed to say that, either.” Sasha gasped, “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me!” she pulled on her hair and sobbed, “Why do I talk so much? I need to learn to shut up. I’m so stupid.”

Mikasa couldn’t help but wear a smile; a genuine, happy smile, something she couldn’t do for a while now. Tears glistened in her eyes, though this time they were out of joy and gratitude, gratefulness for having such friends in her life, people who filled her with content and happiness. “Thank you, guys.”

Historia got up of her chair, and approached Mikasa, pulling her into a hug. Sasha observed the two of them for a second before joining them, and the three held onto each other tightly, nothing on their faces but cheerful smiles and bright eyes.

That was the beginning of her new life; a turning point, for she’d changed ever since. She’d lost sight of the importance of friendship over the past years, but she realized now more than ever before that she had nothing she cherished more than these people in her life, and for that she was grateful.

She learned valuable lessons from her past mistakes, and swore not to ever make them again. She felt as though she was being reborn, as though she was a wholly new person, more focused, more careful, more… powerful.

When her sick leave was over, going back to work wasn’t as much of a drag as she feared it would be. On the contrary, she’d become so dedicated to it, and the following couple months of hard work earned her a promotion.

It was around Christmas time that she decided to take her vacation, a well-deserved one. She’d been focused on her professional life for quite a long time, and finally reached a point where a break was needed, and if she learned anything from what happened, it was to treat herself kindly, and a break from work and everything else was just the right treatment.

 

* * *

 

Night crawled into the sky and an endless darkness tented, patched with grey clouds hiding the shining stars behind them. The light of Mikasa’s bedroom was on, and she sat on her bed with Historia next to her, helping her pack her clothes. Her leave was temporary, but Historia still seemed quite concerned.

Historia closed one of the bags and got up, holding it in her hand as she approached Eren who was standing by the door, “This one’s ready. Take it downstairs.”

“Alright.” He took it swiftly and left the apartment, while the girls prepared another one.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Historia looked up and asked with a bit of uncertainty. It was probably her protective-best-friend self speaking, but she had an ill feeling about this trip, especially given that Mikasa decided to go on her own.

“Yes.” Confidence colored Mikasa’s voice, and somehow it only made Historia worry more.

“We’ll miss you so much.” Historia frowned, but tried to fight her sadness with a smile. She didn’t have a solid reason to worry about her, really. Mikasa had been in such a good state. She’d been productive and outgoing, and she’d been keeping herself busy with all sorts of things. She’d even been spending more time with them than she had in years.

“It’s just for a few weeks. I know it seems much, but I feel like I need it.” Mikasa spoke. She’d noticed the concern in Historia’s eyes, and so she made sure she sounded reassuring when she added, “Don’t worry about me. I’m alright. It’s been six months. I’m over it.”

“So it seems.” Historia sighed, “Maybe I’m the problem. I’ve spent too much time with you, and now I don’t want to let you go.”

“You have Eren.” Mikasa said, and focused back on folding the clothes, “And Armin and Sasha.”

Historia arched her brow suspiciously, “Why did you say it like that?”

Mikasa shrugged, faking ignorance, “Say it like hat?”

“Like, ‘ _Eren_ … and Armin and Sasha’” Historia mimicked her tone as she repeated, and narrowed her eyes.

“You’re exaggerating. That’s  _totally_  not how I said it.” she claimed.

“That’s  _exactly_  how you said it!” Historia argued, and huffed when noting the smirk on Mikasa’s face, “Oh, you know what? I’m glad you’re leaving. At least I won’t have to deal with that attitude.”

“What attitude? I didn’t say anything.” Mikasa said nonchalantly, only making the glare on Historia’s face intensify, as well as her blush. “Historia…” her tone changed to a softer one now, “I don’t mind, you know?”

“Huh?” Historia blinked, and paused to look at Mikasa.

“I know you and Eren like each other a lot. I also know you haven’t been open about it because of me.” She explained, “Maybe you can use the chance to talk about it now. Feel more comfortable.”

“Mikasa… I—”

“I’m really happy for you two.” She said, her voice reassuring and genuine, “I think it’ll work out.”

Historia let out a soft breath, “You’re… really over it, then?”

Mikasa nodded, “I’m strong. I wasn’t for a while, but I am now. I’m not going to let the past decide my future. I’ve moved on, and I have a life to live. No more dwelling on the past.”

Historia’s worries slowly began to fade away as she listened to Mikasa’s words, and soon a big smile shaped her lips, and she nodded, “No more dwelling on the past.” She scooted closer to her friend, and gave her a tight hug, “We’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too.”

It took them almost an hour to finish packing the rest of the bags and place them inside Mikasa’s car.

She stood by the vehicle with her friends afterwards, saying goodbye to them before she’d leave. Both Armin and Sasha had joined the group, too.

“We hope you enjoy your vacation, Mikasa.” Armin spoke, “You deserve a break. You’ve been working really hard for the past months.”

“What do you mean? Mikasa’s always been a hard-worker.” Eren claimed.

“Right…” Armin nodded, “But even more so lately.”

“Thank you. You guys have fun together.” She said the last part with her eyes on Historia, and the latter blushed madly, though approached her and gave her another hug, one last hug before she’d leave.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” Historia mumbled in a bit of a pleading tone.

“Hey, now! She’s not going to war, is she?” Eren joked, “She’s taking a vacation; of course she’ll take care of herself.”

“I will.” She assured, “And you take care of yourselves and each other.”

“We will.” Eren nodded.

With a smile on her face, Mikasa got inside the car. She waved goodbye at her friends, and took off shortly after, initiating her trip out of the city. It wasn’t something she did often enough, and with the beginning of her new life, she decided to include new experiences, and this was one of them.

She had an early reservation at a five star hotel, and she figured she might as well go all the way and reserve an entire suite for herself. She’d be staying there for a while, and the bigger the living space, the less likely she’d get bored on her own, or so she hoped, at least.

The two-hour drive finally came to an end when the car stopped at the hotel’s grounds.

With a tired exhale slipping from between her slightly parted lips, her feet touched the rigid ground beneath her, while her head peeked outside of the car, and she was met with a much pleasant sight of the huge building before her. The air felt very welcoming, and the hotel’s name glowed in big letters arching above the wide entrance, spelling  _‘Sina’s’_. A few seconds of musing went by before the valet approached her, and only when he spoke did she realize that he was standing in front of her.

“Good evening, miss! Would you like me to park your car?” The respectful tone was present in the valet’s voice as he asked, as well as a smile on his face.

“Yes, please.” She nodded at him, “I just need to take out the bags I brought with me.”

“Don’t worry, miss, I’ll make sure to send them with a bellboy.” The valet spoke reassuringly and added, “Have a nice stay at our hotel.” Bowing his head, Mikasa stepped aside for the valet to take her car and park it.

It was now time to explore the inside part of the hotel, and she walked towards the entrance slowly, making sure to take in every bit of beauty the exterior had to offer, though when she stepped inside, she felt as though her feet had been nailed to the floor. Frozen in her place, her eyes were the only thing in her that moved, roaming around and observing every nook and cranny. The main lobby had a warm feel to it, filling her chest with coziness and comfort. The air smelled so fresh and homey, defying her expectations of feeling strange in a strange place. When she felt that she looked at everything she could see from her spot, her gaze landed on the front desk at last, the place she was supposed to head to. Mikasa finally moved from her spot and headed to there, the strap of her purse tugging at her arm.

“Good evening miss, and welcome to our hotel! How may I help you?” A wide smile showed on the receptionist’s face as she welcomed Mikasa.

“Hi. I have a reservation for today, under the name Ackerman…” Mikasa stepped closer and answered, resting her hand on the desk.

“Ackerman…” The receptionist nodded as she went through the list of reservations, until she stumbled upon the name. “Yes, Ms. Ackerman, you have a reservation for a one-bedroom suite, am I correct?”

“Yes…” Relieved nothing went wrong with her reservation, she nodded.

“Alright, I see we already have your credit card information, so you only need to sign the receipt along the bottom, please.” The receptionist said and Mikasa complied shortly after. “Thank you very much, miss. We’ve reserved suite 48 for you, here is the key…” She held the key out to her, “Take the elevator on the right, go to the fourth floor, turn right, and then walk straight. Your suite will be on your left side. Your bags should get there soon with the bellboy.”

“Alright, thank you.” Mikasa took the key and turned around, looking at the elevator she was going to take before walking towards it. Following the receptionist’s directions, Mikasa ended up in her suite within a few minutes.

 _How charming,_  words she could not speak when the allure of her surroundings had her stunned in amazement. The place was strangely big, which had her wondering how they could fit so much space in a single suite of the hotel. Needless to say the furniture was fancy; it had more of a traditional looking style, so elegant and neat. She could spot the living room, the dining, and the kitchen, and there were a couple more doors that presumably lead to the bedroom and bathroom. She’d have to check for herself.

“Miss, where would you like me to leave the bags?” Before she would drown any further in her suite’s charm, the bellboy called from behind, holding her bags and placing them on the floor.

She turned around and looked at him, giving him a simple nod, “Ah yes. Just leave them there, I’ll arrange them later.”

“If you needed anything, you can call the room service. Have a nice stay and a good evening!” The bellboy said before leaving and closing the door behind him.

It was now only her and a whole big suite for her to explore, throwing her handbag to the couch, Mikasa began wandering around, mesmerized by the beauty of the place. She approached one of the doors that she spotted earlier, and it opened to a spacious, dream-like bedroom. The bed was bigger than anything she ever had, and the sheets looked so warm and cozy, and when she walked further inside the room, she finally caught a glimpse of the view from her room. It was as though she could see the whole world through the large windows, framing the outside like a vivid painting. She could see the various lights of the far city, and the endless black coat of the sky hovering atop it all. She’d lost count of how long she’d been standing there, and only when her legs started feeling sore did she come back to her senses.

She looked down at the bed now, and decided she should test it out and see if it felt just as good as it looked. She sat down on it slowly, and the mattress bounced a little upon receiving her weight, and soon Mikasa dropped the rest of her body onto the bed, spreading her arms wide across the sheets, and closing her eyes as she released a loud and long breath.

 _It’s not bad to enjoy herself at all._  Mikasa yawned slightly, and allowed her tense body a few moments of relaxation from the tiring ride she had.

The hotel restaurant wasn’t short of sophistication either, and when she got there, she was surprised she even found a table to sit. She could overhear the staff talking about how busy their hotel was, more than they expected it to be, and it seemed that they were having trouble receiving all the people in the restaurant, and had to send everyone that came after Mikasa back to their rooms with a free, special meal as an apology. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for both the staff and the guests, but at the same time she was grateful to have had a table for her own to enjoy an elegant dinner in an elegant restaurant at an elegant hotel. She’d saved up quite a lot of money for this, and she was happy to see it wasn’t going to waste, despite this being her first night here. The smell of food kept tickling her nostrils, and so she ignored whatever kept her busy from eating. Her eyes landed on her plate when her hand held the fork, though she couldn’t help but be distracted again when the next guests walked into the restaurant; a man with a young-looking woman, wrapping her arm around his; possibly a couple. They stood near her table to talk to a waiter, and so Mikasa was able to hear their conversation.

“I deeply apologize, sir. All tables are currently reserved.” The waiter frowned as he announced the news to them, bowing his head apologetically, “If you wish to wait until one of the tables is empty, we’ll make sure to call you back to have your meal. If you don’t wish to wait, we can also bring the meal to your room.”

“Is that so?” the woman frowned, “I knew the hotel was really good, but I never expected it to be this busy.”

“We’ve already placed an order to get extra tables and chairs. This problem won’t last for much longer. My sincere apologies for the inconvenience.”

“That’s fine.” The man said simply, “We can eat in our suite.”

“Or maybe we can wait?” The shorter woman with him asked hopefully. Her light, ginger bangs covered one of her eyes and she reached up with her hand to push them back. “Please?” she pleaded.

The man looked at her silently for a bit, considering her request for a moment before answering, “Alright, but you’ll have to stay awake until then.”

“I will!” she replied excitedly and squeezed his hand with a bright smile.

Mikasa looked at the two of them quietly, at the way the woman’s face brightened, the excitement in her voice, and last, at the ring around her finger. Before her eyes flashed a memory, of the time she took off her own engagement ring from her finger, and dropped it to the ground, the sound it made as it hit the surface playing in her ears before she forced herself out of that memory, and back to the present time. She spotted the couple turning away, ready to leave.

“My table is almost empty…” Mikasa barely recognized herself while saying so, for she never tried to initiate conversations with strangers, let alone invite them to sit with her. As soon as the couple turned around to look at her, she tried to smile as she added, “If you’d like, you can join me?”

The man exchanged gazes with the woman in his company for a few seconds, “So, what do you say?” He asked her.

“I say that I cannot wait any longer.” The woman couldn’t help a giggle from escaping her lips, and a light blush from reddening her cheeks.

“Alright, we’re going to sit here, then.” The man informed the waiter as he helped the girl take her seat, pulling the chair for her.

“No problem, sir. Take your time reading the menu and let me know when your order is ready.” The waiter said before walking away to receive some more guests who walked in.

“Good evening!” the woman greeted as she sat down, her supposed-fiancé soon taking a seat next to her. “Thank you for your generosity. I’ve been driving for a while and I’m starving.”

“Don’t mention it.” Mikasa shook her head, “There’s plenty of space, so it’s best to make use of it.”

“I’m Petra, by the way.” The woman introduced herself with a sweet smile, and then gestured toward the man by her side, “And this is Levi.”

“Pleasure to meet you, I’m Mikasa.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mikasa!” Petra said, “Man, this place is gorgeous, isn’t it?”

Mikasa nodded in agreement, “I’ve only arrived not so long ago, but that’s enough time to see how pretty the hotel is.”

“Is this your first time here, then?” Petra asked curiously, while Levi kept himself busy browsing through the menu.

“It is.” Mikasa replied, “My friend recommended this place to me.”

“I see. Your friend has a great taste.” Petra chuckled, “I’ve been here before, when the hotel was still new. It wasn’t half as busy as it is today. The place’s definitely earned more fame since then. They’re also celebrating their one year anniversary, and that’s probably why the place is busy now.”

“When did you come here?” Levi looked up from the menu to ask.

“Oh, it was last year, for work.” Petra answered, “My partner and I had to meet up with some business men, and we stayed at this hotel. I thought I told you about it.”

“You didn’t.” Levi sighed, and looked back down at the menu.

Mikasa remained quiet, feeling slightly awkward in the situation, though when her eyes landed on Levi’s hand, she saw a ring on his finger too, and her brow arched, “You’re married?”

“No.” Levi answered.

“Not yet.” Petra spoke, excitement present in her tone, “Our wedding is soon though. We’re just here because of my work, and he’s taking a sick leave.”

“Oh, I see. Excuse my curiosity, I just thought… because of the rings…” she mumbled, and realized she wasn’t going anywhere with it, so she decided to pick up her fork again and resume eating.

“Right.” Petra scratched the back of her neck, “I made him wear a ring because I thought it was cute.”

“And to keep people away, too.” Levi added with a snarky tone. 

“That’s not true!” Petra claimed, “I mean… okay maybe it’s half true.”

“It’s true.” Levi stated simply.

Petra’s cheeks flushed with a faint pink color, but she shook her head and decided to change the topic, “Anyways, is there something you’d like to order, honey?” she leaned closer to peek at the menu with him.

Levi shrugged his shoulders and handed her the menu instead, “You pick.”

“Oh…” Petra held the menu in her hand and sighed, “Fine. You’re always so indecisive.”

Silence soon settled in as all three of them focused on having their dinner and filling up their hungry stomachs, save for some chit chat and small talk here and there. Petra even insisted Mikasa stayed with them even after finishing her meal, and the latter thought it would be rude to turn her down, so she stayed. She was here to try new things, might as well get to know people, even if it wasn’t something she was used to. Levi remained mostly quiet throughout every conversation, seemingly not the talkative type, much like Mikasa. He had enough listening only, would say a word or two if necessary, but for the most part stayed silent. They had wished each other a good night when the dinner ended, though as soon as they started heading to their suites, they realized they were staying at the same floor, and so they shared the elevator ride.

Petra exclaimed, “I’m so excited to see the suite. I’ve seen it in pictures, but I’m sure it won’t compare to what it really looks like.”

“I’ve seen mine. It was really beautiful.” Mikasa stated.

“Last time I was here I reserved a room, and it was so nice.” Petra claimed, “My partner wasn’t so fond of hotels but he couldn’t deny this place was like heaven. I love it.”

 _He._  Levi’s brow twitched slightly at that, the information seeming new to him. “So you and your partner  _shared_  a roomhere?” the question slipped out his mouth.

Petra blinked at him, then brushed his shoulder with hers and shook her head, “No. We reserved separate rooms. Are you  _jealous_?”

“I’m  _not_  jealous.” Levi claimed nonchalantly.

“You  _sound_  jealous.” She teased with a silly smile.

“I’m not.” He pressed, his tone strict, and Petra decided to let it go.

Mikasa couldn’t help but feel awkward being in the middle of that, and she could see Petra was feeling just as awkward too. It probably wasn’t the best situation to be in; having a stranger around listening to a couple about to argue.

Soon enough, the ride came to an end when the elevator arrived to the floor, and all three got out of the elevator and walked together in the hallway.

“Where are you staying?” Petra asked, breaking the awkward silence.

“Suite 48.” She replied, gesturing at the door as they closed in.

“Oh!” Petra exclaimed, “Ours is 50. We’re neighbors!”

“I see. I’ll drop by if I ever need anything, then.” Mikasa said, and when hearing Petra chuckle, she felt relieved knowing that her joke came across successfully.

“Well, in any case. It was nice talking to you, Mikasa. Have a good night.” Petra smiled widely at the girl.

“Likewise. Have a good night.” Mikasa returned the smile, and stood at her door to watch the couple walk away to their suite, right across the long hallway extending before her suite, and she turned around shortly, tugging out her key card to open the door and walk in.

Upon walking to their suite, Petra’s eyes widened in awe, and though Levi wore an indifferent expression, he was still amazed by how nice the place looked and felt. Petra had to convince him to leave unpacking for tomorrow, so they’d be able to enjoy the rest of their night without any more strenuous activities. Driving for a long time was enough, and they had a big bed waiting for them in the bedroom, begging to be used. Levi gave in to Petra’s pleas and only opened one bag to get out some sleepwear for the night.

Their bodies fell tired under the sheets, heavy breaths and bits of sweat covering their skin—the warmth of the suite didn’t help much in that department, but a little fun activity was enough to give them one last push to send them off to sleep almost immediately after they came down from the bliss. The hour handle hit midnight by the time they succumbed to sleep, and though Petra wore a most peaceful face, Levi’s was more of the opposite. His eyes moved under his closed lids restlessly, and his brows furrowed, painting a grim expression. His sight was all blurry, fuzzy, and his hands sweaty on the wheel of his car, slipping away against his will. He was driving at the speed of light, but his target still seemed out of his reach, and next thing he knew, the glass of the window shattered, and the world around him went round and round, before darkness settled in.

When he opened his eyes again, it was still dark, and he sat up immediately, gasping, and pushing the covers off his body. His feet touched a fluffy texture, that of a carpet, and a few seconds later he managed to catch his breath and realized that he was back in the bedroom of their suite.

 _These fucking nightmares._  He let out a heavy breath, panting, sweating, and he felt exhausted and sore, as though he just got out of that car, as though the accident hadn’t happened months ago, as though he hadn’t recovered from it all.

“Levi…” Petra woke up upon hearing him breathe heavily, and she sat up, turning on the lamp by her bedside table to look at him, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” he claimed, and felt her hand rub his back gently, soothingly.

“Had another nightmare?” she said with a frown and scooted closer to him to kiss his shoulder, “I’m sorry, honey. Try to get back to sleep.”

“I can’t.” Levi passed his fingers through his hair, pushing it back, lips parting to release yet another hot breath, “I’m going to take a walk for a bit.” He said as he got out of bed, and tried to find his pants and shirt on the floor.

“Do you want me to come with you?” she offered.

“No, it’s fine.” Levi shook his head, grabbing his pants and slipping them on, “You need the rest. You’ve got work tomorrow.”

“Okay…” she sighed, “But promise me you’re not going to drink. We’ve talked about this.”

Levi grabbed his shirt next and threw it on quickly, “I won’t.”

“I love you.” She whispered as she lay back down on the bed, and turned to the other side.

Levi eyed her quietly for a moment before fixing himself up, putting on his slippers, and leaving the suite.

He was standing in the lobby within a couple of minutes. It was large and his eyes got lost looking around it, but they seemed to land on a familiar face when looking at one of the seating areas. Was that Mikasa sitting there? He wondered, and noticed that her eyes were closed. Could she have fallen asleep here by accident?

Nevertheless, he thought it was an interesting coincidence that he found her here as well at this late hour, and his legs led him unconsciously to her, until he stood before her.

“Are you asleep?” Levi asked, strangely curious to know what it was that kept her from staying in her big, comfy bed back in her suite.

“Mhm… what?” Her eyes rose lazily to glance up at him, and she recognized him still, “You… what do you want?”

“You’ve got an interesting taste in sleeping locations.” He said sarcastically, “It’s loud and noisy and bright, just what you need to fall asleep. Forget about that big-ass bed in the cozy suite.”

“That’s none of your business.” Mikasa tried to glare, though her expression softened soon enough, “I felt lonely so I came here… and I fell asleep.” She proceeded to explain, her hands resting on the couch, and she tried to lift herself up to stand, but she fell right back in her place.

“Are you okay?” Levi leaned in slowly, and his nostrils soon caught on the smell of alcohol reeking from her; she’d been drinking, he realized, and suddenly it made much more sense for her to fall asleep in such a weird place.

“Yeah, I… maybe I drank a bit too much…” she mumbled under her breath and closed her eyes again, breathing quietly.

“No shit.” He arched his brow at her, though his gaze softened slowly, and he offered, “I can go get you a cup of tea if you like.”

She shook her head, “No, thanks. I just… want to go back to my suite.”

Levi watched her for a moment, wondering what it was that possessed him to even say the next words, “Alright, give me your hand. I’ll help you back.” He offered, and held out his hand to her expectantly.

Mikasa’s eyes opened slightly, and she looked at him through half open lids, at the hand he’d extended to her. Her hand moved slowly, hesitantly, and touched his lightly. She wanted to pull back, but he held her hand in his, and pulled her up.

Levi hadn’t noticed it before, but she was quite tall, taller than he was, that is—he’d probably have a hard time carrying her around in case she passed out before they got to her suite, and he wasn’t looking forward to that.

“Let’s go.” He said, and walked alongside her, back to the elevator. He pushed the button to take them up to the floor and looked at her, making sure she was still awake enough.

She stood there quietly, fighting the urge to give in to sleep, though she still sought warmth and comfort, and her arm wrapped around Levi’s almost instinctively, her head leaning on his shoulder.

Levi’s body tensed up at the sudden contact, and he looked at her with wide eyes, questioning what the hell she was doing, but he saw her eyes were still closed, and realized she probably had no clue what she was doing. Levi was even more thankful he didn’t ask Petra to join him-this wouldn’t be a lovely sight to her. He inhaled a deep breath, and decided to let her be for now.

“…I hate you…” Her voice was barely audible, but Levi caught it regardless. “It’s all… your fault… I lost it…”

For a second there, Levi thought she was talking to him, and he raised his brows in confusion, but he looked at her and her eyes were closed still, though he could see tears glistening in them, too. He wondered what it was she was talking about, clearly not a happy memory, and it made him wonder whether she was having trouble sleeping. That would be one thing they had in common.

The door soon slid open, and Levi walked out of the elevator with Mikasa, and with a few more steps, they arrived at her suite.

“We’re here.” Levi announced, loud enough to make her lift her head off his shoulder and open her eyes.

“Oh.” She looked at the door of her suite, and tried to steady herself before letting go of his arm. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He nodded, and wondered whether he should leave or wait for her to go inside.

Her back pressed to the wall, and reached a hand into her pocket to get her key.

“Goodnight.” Levi spoke, and then turned around to return to his suite. However, when he reached to open the door and go inside, he looked over at Mikasa, and surprisingly saw her in the hallway still. She was sitting down on the floor, holding her knees up to her chest, and resting her head on them.

A soft sigh escaped his lips, and his gaze warmed up, not even realizing there was a silly smile sitting on his lips as he walked back to her. The key was still in her hand, and he leaned down slightly to grab it from her and open the door.

He pondered whether he should wake her up, or help her inside instead. She didn’t look like she could walk much, not when she was sleeping in the hallway and her suite was one step away. In the end, he decided to carry her inside, and he was glad he did, for she was totally passed out, didn’t even move when he picked her up. He took her to the bedroom, and laid her on the bed, made sure to take her shoes off and cover her body. He placed her apartment key down on the nightstand, and then stood there, quietly watching her, staring at her face with the softest gazes. It was only when her phone started ringing that he snapped out of it, and realized that he’d been standing there this whole time.

 _Why the fuck was he still here?_   He asked himself, and immediately proceeded to walk out, forgetting all about having a walk, and deciding to return to his suite instead and join his fiancée in their bed again.

“You didn’t take so long…” Petra woke up upon hearing him get in bed, and turned to look at him.

“Yeah…” He tossed his shirt aside and got under the sheets.

“Had a quick walk?” She shifted closer, seeking his warmth.

“Kind of…” He held her against him and caressed her side slowly.

“Feel any better now?” She nuzzled her nose to his and asked.

“And sleepy too.” That was something he hadn’t felt in so long.

“You haven’t slept properly since forever, and you need to rest.” Petra pressed her head to his chest, his heartbeats soothing her and lulling her back to sleep, and this time around Levi joined her in her slumber.

He had slept peacefully that night, for the first time in so long.

 

* * *

 

Morning light seeped through the bedroom windows, and fell perfectly onto Levi’s face, bugging his sleepy eyes. Petra was already dressed up for the day. She had a meeting to attend soon, not far away from here, and she had to leave. She zipped up her boots and then walked back to the bed, leaning down to Levi and pressing a kiss to his cheek, her fingers running through his hair gently.

“Levi… I’m going now…” she whispered to him in a soft voice.

“What time is it?” he could barely part his lips to ask.

“Almost ten…” She answered and pulled back.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” His eyes then opened to look up at her, realizing it was much later than he expected it to be. He had never slept for this long, and would always be the first one to wake up. This was a first.

“I saw you sleeping peacefully and I didn’t want to wake you up. You haven’t slept like that before, ever.” Petra said with a loving smile on her face.

“I see…” Levi sighed, and turned to lie on his back, “When do you get back?”

“The meeting should be for two hours. If nothing else occurs, I’ll be back before you even realize it.” She replied, grabbing her coat and putting it on.

“Good luck.” He mumbled, and slowly sat up to watch her leave.

“Thank you, honey.” She smiled, “You can keep yourself busy with unpacking. Don’t forget to eat something, too. No alcohol!” she said the last bit with a strict tone.

“Anything else, mother?” Levi asked sarcastically.

“Yes; I love you!” Petra added, and blew a kiss his way before turning around and leaving the bedroom.

“Take care.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and stretched his arms for a bit before deciding to get out of bed and start his day.

 

* * *

 

Mikasa sat on the floor of the bedroom, surrounded by her bags. Some of them were already emptied, and the clothes neatly placed inside the closet, while the other half was still full and waiting to be unpacked. She was taking a short break, however, as she was on the phone with Historia.

 _“I called you like, ten times, and you didn’t answer…”_  Ignorant to the details of last night’s events, Historia was entering mom-mode, about to initiate an investigation and scolding session if she didn’t hear a believable excuse in the next two seconds.

“I’m so sorry, Historia. I was having a walk around the hotel and forgot to take my phone with me, and when I got back to my suite, it was late and I fell asleep immediately.” Mikasa claimed, her voice convincing so far.

 _“I take it you like the hotel?”_  Historia asked.

“It’s… wonderful. I really love it here.” Mikasa smiled, “I wasn’t so sure at first but… I’m happy I came here.”

 _“Yeah, well, I hope you don’t like it too much and decide you’re never coming back, though. That wouldn’t be good.”_  Historia warned.

“That’s a good idea, actually. It’s not so bad here.”

 _“The hell did you just say, darling?”_  Historia said, and Mikasa lip-synced to her words, knowing exactly what her friend’s reaction would be. “I’m driving to the hotel this very instant if that’s the case.”

“I’m just kidding,” She chuckled, “it’s pretty warm inside here; you’d forget it was winter. The bed is so comfortable and big… and the view…”

There was a knock on the door, followed by a woman’s voice shortly after, “Room service…”

“That’s the breakfast I ordered,” Mikasa stated, and got up on her feet to answer the door. She opened it quickly and stepped aside, allowing room for the woman to walk in.

“Good morning, Miss. Here is the breakfast you ordered.” She said.

“Thank you…” Mikasa nodded at her with a smile, and stood at the door, waiting for the woman to leave so she could close it. As the woman walked out, Mikasa proceeded to shut the door, though paused when hearing a clicking sound, and looked up to see Levi coming out of his suite.

His eyes met hers shortly after he started walking, and he greeted when he stood in front of her, “Good morning…”

“Good morning…” she replied calmly.

 _“Who’s that?”_  Historia asked on the other side of the phone upon hearing the voice of a guy talking to her friend, her curiosity arising.

“Historia, I’ll call you back.” Mikasa hung up, and held the phone in her hand as she looked at the man awkwardly.

“How are you?” he initiated, breaking the wall of silence that was building between them.

“I’m… fine.” Last night’s events flashed before her eyes as she said those words, and wasn’t so sure about addressing the matter or acting like it never happened.

“So, feel better today?” he asked, and she cursed under her breath.

“Yeah…” she nodded, “Thank you. And how are you?”

“I got to sleep for quite some time, so not bad.” He shrugged.

“That’s good…” Mikasa offered a smile, and the two of them went quiet once more, until Mikasa spoke again, “Is your fiancée still asleep?”

“No.” he answered, “She left for a meeting not long ago.”

“I see…” she nodded, “And… you’re on a sick leave, right? What for?” she remembered what Petra had told her, and from what she’d seen at least, he looked in a good shape.

“I had a car accident a few months ago…” Levi said, “Still recovering.”

Her eyes widened, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine. I’m getting better.” He shrugged, and then decided to ask, “What about you?”

“What about me?” her brow arched.

“Why are you here?” he clarified.

“I’m on vacation.” She answered simply, “And I needed a break from… everything.”

“I see.” He nodded understandingly. He, too, needed a break from everything, and perhaps last night was a sign he was going to enjoy his sick leave. If only he could always sleep as well as he did last night.

“I…” Mikasa started, “I just… ordered some breakfast. Do you want to join, maybe?” this was twice she invited a stranger to eat with her, though after last night, somehow he no longer felt like a stranger to her. She was lonely, and he was alone, and it couldn’t hurt either of them to have some company for a while. 

Levi stared at her silently for a moment, considering her offer. “I was going to have breakfast downstairs. I guess this saves up time and energy.”

Mikasa wore a smile and stepped aside to allow him in, before she closed the door behind him.

They placed the plates and utensils on the dining table, and sat opposite from one another to have their breakfast.

Mikasa took a small bite of her food and looked up at Levi. “How did the accident happen, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I can’t remember what happened exactly,” Levi seemed to take a long moment to think about it before starting to tell, “I guess I was drunk… driving my car so fast, going somewhere… to get something I forgot… and then… there was this truck…” he still remembered last night’s dream so vividly, and his brows furrowed in disturbance, but he continued nonetheless, “It showed up out of nowhere… and crashed into my car… and that’s all I remember.”

“That… sounds terrifying.” Mikasa frowned.

Levi didn’t comment on that, instead he continued to tell the story, “I woke up in the hospital four months later, was told I fell into a coma. I had to stay in the hospital for a couple more months.”

“Is that why your fiancée’s so… protective of you?” Mikasa asked, mostly referring to the ring she’d made him wear.

Levi raised his brows at that, but proceeded to explain, “We weren’t engaged then, actually. We were dating… and she visited me every day, made sure I was doing alright and recovering.”

Mikasa decided to follow up with the subject, rather than focusing on the accident, for she noted that he was still disturbed by it. “When did you propose to her?”

“Two weeks ago…” He answered, and could see the surprise on Mikasa’s face.

“Oh, congratulations.” Mikasa smiled, “You’re getting married soon, too?”

“Next summer…” he answered, “So still a while before that.”

“Well, it sounds exciting regardless.” Mikasa said, and watched him take a bite from his food, not commenting on what she said, and so she let her curiosity get the better of her and asked, “Do you love her?”

Levi almost choked on his food at the sudden question.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s personal… You don’t have to answer it.” Mikasa pressed her lips together, cursing under her breath. She probably made him uncomfortable, great.

“I… do.” Levi answered, unsure if he was trying to convince Mikasa or himself, “I’m marrying her.” He added, as though to support his statement.

Mikasa’s lips curled up faintly, forming a smirk that she couldn’t hide well enough, and Levi spotted it.

“What?” he snapped.

“That sounded very convincing.” Mikasa teased, “It’s none of my business anyways. Don’t worry about it.”

“You think I’m lying?” he questioned defensively.

Mikasa shrugged, “It doesn’t really matter what I think. You’re the one getting married here.”

“No, I’d really like to know what a stranger thinks about my relationship with my fiancée.” Levi claimed sarcastically, though he was also being frank, “I’m listening.”

Mikasa met his eyes with hers and placed down her fork, “Do you want me to be honest?”

“By all means.” He gestured at her with his hand to go ahead and speak up her mind, and crossed his arms against his chest, leaning back on the chair to listen.

“I don’t see it.” She said outspokenly, “It’s in her eyes, but not yours. It almost feels like you’re only marrying her to express your gratitude for her support, to return a favor you think you owe her.”

Levi stayed speechless for a few remarkable seconds, his arms almost unfolding and dropping to his sides, and his lips parted, wanting to argue against what she said, but nothing came out of his mouth but a soundless breath, and his eyes looked to the side.

Mikasa shook her head, feeling slightly regretful of her words. It seemed she was getting even better at making him uncomfortable. “I could be wrong. I barely know the two of you. I just said that because… I have two friends who are madly in love with each other, and you can see it in their eyes whenever they’re together.”

Levi clicked his tongue and sighed, “What about you, then? I don’t believe this wisdom of yours is a result of observing two of your friends.”

Mikasa snickered, “Not really, no… I had an experience of my own.”

“Oh?” Levi was curious.

Mikasa noted, “An experience that I don’t want to share.”

Levi huffed, “I see how it is, so you love digging into other people’s shit, but you don’t want to share yours? That’s very kind.”

Mikasa’s gaze sharpened, and she spoke stoically, “It’s not a great experience. Please respect that.”

“I do respect it.” Levi shrugged, “You probably don’t even remember what happened last night.”

Mikasa dropped her fork at that, and looked up at him with clear nervousness in her eyes. “W-what happened, last night?” all she could remember was seeing him in the lobby, and him helping her get to the elevator, but everything after that was a big blur. That explained why she couldn’t even remember how she got back in bed. Did she end up telling him something under the drink’s influence? Something she wasn’t supposed to say?

“I had to carry you all the way to your bed because you were drunkenly sleeping in the hallway, and the lobby before that.” He explained simply.

“Is… that all?” Mikasa asked nervously, tapping her foot on the floor.

“You’re very welcome.” Levi huffed.

Mikasa breathed out, “Thank you for… being so kind.”

“That sounds very genuine.” he mocked.

Mikasa lowered her head and looked down at her plate, her appetite almost dying out, and she sighed, “I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble. I don’t usually drink, unless I was stressed…”

Levi unfolded his arms and took a hold of his fork, “What is it that got you so stressed? I thought you’re here to take a break from everything.”

“That’s personal.” Mikasa started to feel bad for dodging all of his questions like that when he answered hers without any complaints, but she still wasn’t ready to share those things with him; a stranger she met only last night.

Levi remembered how she was mumbling something in her sleep last night and how there were tears in her eyes. He wanted to know what that was all about, but clearly she had no intention to talk about it, and so with a sigh he resumed eating his breakfast, deciding it was best to leave her be. It was none of his business after all.

The rest of it went quiet, and Levi left the suite shortly after they finished eating. Mikasa decided to go back to unpacking the rest of her bags, and she turned on the TV in the bedroom to keep herself occupied from her own thoughts.

Christmas was around the corner, and naturally almost everything on TV was surrounding the subject. Mikasa wasn’t really paying attention to any of it, really, not until she heard the reporter on TV speak to a young woman, asking her about her plans for Christmas.

Mikasa paused to look up at the screen, and listened to the woman speak with excitement and happiness.

_“I’m spending Christmas this year together with my fiancée. We’re going on vacation together and I’m excited to share this special time of the year with him. We’ve been saving up money to rent this nice cabin, and it’s finally happening!”_

Mikasa’s head tilted to the side, her gaze softening as she drowned in memories of her own, of a very special Christmas she’d spent with her loved one. She held up her hand, and looked at her now-naked finger, where a ring once was. Her lips pressed together tightly, and she clenched her hand into a fist, holding it to her chest. Her eyes closed for a few seconds, and she breathed in, trying her best to let go of those memories, the memories that no longer brought her joy, only pain and regret.

When she opened her eyes again, her expression was dull, and she held the remote control and turned off the TV, deciding it wasn’t helping distract her in the least bit.

It was almost ironic how everything around her reminded her of how stupid and naïve she was, reminding her of things she hated to remember, and she focused on unpacking her bags with the company of silence this time around. She was done within an hour and changed her clothes to go out, put on a warm coat, a pair of gloves and a beanie. She took her purse swiftly, put everything she needed in it and left the suite.

The valet met her halfway outside of the hotel, and he greeted her with a smile, “Good morning, Miss. Would you like me to get your car for you?”

“No, thank you. I’ll go on a short walk.” Mikasa nodded at the valet, and then began walking, her steps slow, eyes wandering around the place. The street was quite busy, with kids running here and there, elders sitting on a bench and talking, families hanging out together. The only thing that caught Mikasa’s attention, however, was a little kid sitting in a park on his own, crying. She debated whether or not she should check on him. Maybe his parents were around and they’d go to him soon, but what if he was alone? What if he got lost? What if someone hurt him?

She couldn’t help but walk towards him, and she knelt down in front of him, a friendly smile on her face, “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?”

The kid looked up at her with puffy eyes and a rosy nose. He hissed, and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, shaking his head. “No.”

“Did you lose your parents?” she asked, still concerned about him.

“No…” he shook his head again, sniffling.

Mikasa’s head tilted to the side slightly, “What’s wrong, then? Why are you crying?”

“I… ran away from home.” He admitted, his gaze falling away from Mikasa’s.

“Ran away from home?” she arched her brows at him, “Why did you do that? Your parents must be really worried about you now.”

He shook his head, “My parents don’t care about me. They don’t love me.”

“Why do you say that? Did they do something to you?” Mikasa’s concern only grew stronger when hearing the kid’s words.

“All I wanted… was a new toy for Christmas to play with my friends… but my parents yelled at me and told me that toys are a waste of a time, and that I should grow up and focus on things that mattered.” he explained, tears drenching his eyes.

“Now, now… that’s not very nice of them to say…” Mikasa frowned, and reached into her handbag to get out a handkerchief, and then held it out to the kid, “There, wipe away your tears.”

The kid looked up at her, then at the handkerchief, and took it from her hand, “Thank you.”

“Are you all by yourself in this park?” she asked, looking around them for a bit.

“Yes.” He nodded, and wiped his eyes and nose with the handkerchief.

“It’s cold… You’ll get sick.” Mikasa said, but the kid frowned.

“I don’t want to go back home.” He argued.

“Where do you want to go?” she questioned, but the kid simply shrugged. Of course, he was only a kid following his first instincts. He couldn’t have possibly thought this one through, and she wasn’t going to let him stay outside by himself like this. “If I got you some toys, would it be okay if I walked you back home?”

“Huh?” his eyes widened at that, and he looked up at her expectantly.

“There should be a toy store nearby. I can go and buy you some stuff from there. You’ll have toys to play with, and you can go back home to do so.” She offered.

“M-my parents say toys are expensive.” The kid hesitated.

Mikasa smiled softly, “I’m sure we’ll find something that’s nice and cheap.”

The boy gasped, his face brightening up, “For real?”

Mikasa nodded at him reassuringly, and the boy chuckled. She got up on her feet again and held her hand out to him. He took it, and stood up quickly.

They turned around, ready to leave the park together, only for Mikasa to freeze in her place, her eyes wide open upon seeing the person standing in front of her.

Confused, she asked, “Levi? What are you doing here?”

He slid his hands into his pockets and said, “I went out for a walk… I guess the world’s a small place.”

“I see.” She nodded, “Well, I was about to leave anyways. It was good to see you again.” She excused herself and walked away with the kid.

Levi stood in his place and watched her, though before she could get much further, he called, “Mikasa, wait…”

She paused, and looked at him from over her shoulder.

He got her attention, but he completely forgot what he wanted to say to her, or how he wanted to say it. He gulped, and started, “I was being nosy earlier… and made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to.”

Mikasa looked ahead of her again and shrugged, “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

He sighed, and then added, “I don’t really have anything to do right now… I can help if you like.”

“Help with what?” she asked, and turned to face him this time.

For some reason he found the look on her face quite intimidating; she looked ready to punch the hell out of his face if he didn’t choose his next words carefully, and he wondered if he’d pissed her off  _that_  much earlier. “With the kid, I mean… get him some toys.”

“Do you have any experience with kids?” she asked, suspecting otherwise.

“Not… exactly.” Levi didn’t even know how to properly communicate with adults, let alone tiny, little creatures, but he wasn’t against trying.

“Maybe you could learn a thing or two, then.” She said, and then added, “You’re welcome to join us.”

Levi sighed in relief, and walked up to the two. He looked down at the kid and asked, “So, what’s your name?”

“Alex!” He answered, tugging at Levi’s hand to hold it.

“That’s a lovely name.” Mikasa smiled.

“Can we play a game?” Alex suggested, and the two looked down at him, “Can I call you mom and dad?”

Levi and Mikasa couldn’t help but look at each other, their cheeks flushing with a taint of red before looking away from one another.

“That’s… uh…” Mikasa stuttered.

“Please!” Alex pleaded, “We can pretend to be a family going out to buy some toys!”

“A family of total strangers.” Levi sighed, “As you wish.”

Mikasa glared at him for even agreeing to this, but he simply shrugged his shoulders. She looked down at Alex again, and he met her with puppy eyes and a very, very adorable face that she couldn’t resist. She threw her head back and sighed, “Okay.”

Alex chuckled excitedly, and the three of them walked together, hand in hand. What kind of harm could a little game bring?

They arrived at a toy store soon enough, and let Alex walk around to take a look and choose what he liked. Mikasa stood in front of one of the shelves, checking out all the different dolls and stuffed animals on display. She turned around to look at Alex, and saw him hold onto Levi’s coat and pointing up at one of the toy guns, and Levi then picked him up in his arms, and let him get the toy himself.

At that moment, Mikasa froze in her place. Tenderness filled her eyes, softening the curl of her lips into a smile, and her hand moved up shakily to rest on her belly, clutching around her coat into a tight, firm grasp. It was a warm and fuzzy feeling that soon faded away when sadness replaced it, realization settling in that none of this was real. She bit the inside of her cheek, and sniffed, trying to hold back her tears.

“Hey, Mikasa.” Levi called to her softly. He, once again, noticed the tears in her eyes, but didn’t think now was an appropriate time to ask her about it, “Come help us choose. This kid’s as good at making up his mind as a man going through midlife crisis.”

Mikasa wiped her eyes quickly and walked up to the two, smiling, “That’s not how you talk to a little child.”

Levi scoffed, “Then enlighten me.”

They took their time looking around the store’s different shelves, full of all sorts of toys any kid could dream of, and once they were done shopping, they went back to reception to pay for everything. They got everything in one big bag, and turned around to leave.

“Could you wait for a moment, sir?” The storekeeper asked.

“Yes?” Levi turned around, pausing.

“I’m giving out free Christmas presents to the families and kids who visit my store. It’s for good fortune.” The shopkeeper said as he opened a box and got out three necklaces, “My wife calls them ‘The Wings of Freedom’… I hope you like them.”

“Oh, sir, actually we’re n—” Mikasa started, about to let him know that they weren’t a family, but Levi had to interrupt her.

“Thank you, sir. We’re always going to remember this place.” He said urgently, and grabbed the necklaces from the old man’s hand.

Mikasa wished she could punch him at that moment, though when she looked at the necklaces, and how lovely they were, she thought maybe this wasn’t so bad. They had to keep pretending, for the sake of the game, right? “Thank you, sir. That’s very kind of you.” She murmured in a soft voice.

“Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!” the shopkeeper said with a warm smile, and watched them leave after returning his wishes.

“Now, shall we take you back to your home?” Mikasa asked, looking down at Alex.

“Mom, I’m feeling really hungry. Can we go have lunch?” Alex begged.

“…Lunch?” She wasn’t expecting this to last much longer, and thought that the kid would be in a hurry to return home and play with his new toys, but perhaps he enjoyed their company more than she expected.

“That can’t hurt.” Levi commented, looking at Mikasa.

“Not at all.” She nodded in agreement and smiled, “Alright then, let’s go get lunch.”

“Can we go build a snowman afterwards? I love snowmen!” Alex exclaimed.

“Sure thing, honey. We’ll do whatever you like.” Mikasa squeezed his tiny hand gently and walked together with him and Levi. She, too, was enjoying this more than she expected.

They found a restaurant not far away, and requested a table. They all took their seats together, and grabbed the menu to take a look at the food options.

“So, sweetie, what do you want to eat?” Mikasa asked the kid, browsing through the menu with him.

Alex looked at the options, and then held up his hand and pointed his finger at one, “Can we get fish?”

Mikasa nodded, “Of course. Fish is good.”

“And I’ll get a salad.” Levi said.

Once their order was served, they began eating, but Alex was having a problem with removing the fish bones, and Levi kept staring at him, he was about to offer his help but Mikasa beat him to it.

“Wait, dear, let me help you with that.” She brought his plate close to her and began removing the bones for him.

“Thanks mom.” Alex watched her carefully, and so did Levi.

She was really good with children, he thought, better than he ever was, and he couldn’t help but point it out, “You… love children, don’t you?”

Mikasa looked up at him quietly, and once handing the plate back to Alex she nodded, “I do. Their innocence is refreshing, makes you forget all about the bad things in the world.”

Her words came out with a subtle hint of sadness, though Levi was quick to pick up on it, and he wanted to ask, “You got any of your own?”

At that, Mikasa’s eyes widened, and her breath stuck in her throat. She parted her lips, wanting to formulate a reply to that, but realized she couldn’t. She could feel her throat throbbing, and her heart pounding hard against her chest, the tears burning in her eyes, and Levi regretted asking that all the more.

“It tastes great, thanks mom.” Alex’s voice soon brought Mikasa back to the present time, and he looked up at her brightly, making her focused on what was happening right in front of her.

 _No more dwelling on the past_. She told herself, remembered the words coming out of her mouth when she was talking to Historia that night. It wasn’t easy to do, at all, but she smiled at the boy, and reached her hand to ruffle his hair playfully.

“It’s… never late to start over, you know?” although he knew little of her story, Levi could maybe guess what it was about. She said something about losing  _it_ , that time in the elevator, and maybe it wasn’t so hard for him to put two and two together now. He didn’t even recognize himself when he spoke, nor did he know what possessed him to say that to her. He just knew he felt bad for her, and wasn’t a fan of seeing that gloomy expression on her face. Mikasa’s eyes fixed on his, surprised to hear his words, though she had nothing to say in return.

“I have an idea!!” Alex shouted, “Dad, why don’t you marry mom and have kids with her?” He spoke in an even louder tone.

Levi choked on his breath at that, and Mikasa’s eyes widened.

“Hey, brat, don’t yell like that…” Levi warned, but soon realized that everyone who was sitting next to them was giving them suspicious eyes.

“People around us will get it wrong if they hear you saying that…” Mikasa smiled nervously and tried to explain, “They don’t know that we’re not really your par—”

“But I want you and dad to get married!” he exclaimed.

“Alright, fine we will. Now shut up.” Levi demanded, glaring down at the boy.

However, Alex didn’t mind him, and proceeded to celebrate the happy news, “Yay! Mom and dad are getting married.”

“I said shut up—”

“Eh, back in the day, kids would come after marriage, but nowadays they come much earlier, what a foolish generation.” An elderly woman mumbled to her husband as they passed by their table.

Mikasa almost spat out the water she was drinking upon hearing that, but instead she choked on it, and she slammed her fist against her chest repeatedly to help herself breathe. Her cheeks burned red, and so did Levi’s, and the two stared at each other, both at loss for words.

“I’m sorry, sir,” one of the waiters approached their table, a forced smile obviously on his face, “We would really appreciate it if you told your son to stay quiet. Guests are complaining about the noise.”

“It’s not what it looks like…” Mikasa tried to explain to the waiter.

“You see, we’re not actually married.” Levi added.

“Yes, I am pretty sure  _everyone_  here knows you two aren’t married.” The waiter smiled forcefully at the two of them, “Just keep your kid calm, please.” The waiter replied sarcastically.

Mikasa wanted to explain further, but she feared that telling the waiter Alex wasn’t even their kid would only cause them more trouble. They could accuse them of kidnapping him or something, and that would be even worse than their current situation.

“We’re really sorry about that. We’ll be leaving soon.” Mikasa looked down and said apologetically.

 

* * *

 

“Well, that was something.” Levi said as they walked out of the restaurant.

Mikasa simply side-eyed Levi, before looking down at Alex with a smile. He was only a kid, didn’t know what he was doing, and this could be a memory she’d laugh at in the future whenever she remembered it.

“Let’s go build a snowman!” she said, and Alex giggled in excitement.

They arrived back at the park where they found Alex, and the snow was thick enough to build as many snowmen as they wanted.

They split the tasks and all three of them worked on getting their part done. Mikasa and Levi were making the snowballs and Alex was searching around for branches and stones that they could use to decorate the snowman. They made the last snowball together, all three of them, placing it at the top for the head of the snowman, and used whatever things Alex picked up to make a silly looking face and some buttons on the body, a couple branches sticking out from the sides. Once they were done, they sat together in front of it, observing the result of their group work proudly.

“What do you think?” Mikasa asked, her eyes on Alex.

“Amazing!” Impressed, Alex exclaimed, his eyes big with amazement.

“It looks like your dad, doesn’t it?” Mikasa glimpsed at Levi’s face while saying that in a teasing tone.

“Oh?” Levi then tossed some snow at Mikasa’s face, “Nah, I think it looks more like you.” He teased back.

“No,” She gathered some snow in her hand and threw it at Levi’s face in revenge, but that only declared the beginning of an intense snowball fight between the two of them, while Alex sat and watched them, laughing at how silly they looked.

“Stop!” She demanded, though her hands were still busy making snowballs to throw at him.

“Ladies first…” Levi said, a snowball ready in his hand, though he held back from throwing it at her for the time being.

“Fine…” She paused, “I stopped.”

“So did I.” Levi claimed.

“Good.” She nodded.

“Good.” Levi let go of the snowball he made and dropped it, could swear he saw Mikasa smirking, for whatever reason, but he soon found out why when she surprised him with a snowball to the face.

“Fuck” he cursed, “That’s cold.” His hand gripped her wrist, making sure she wasn’t going to throw more snowballs at him, as he moved his head to shake off the snow.

“Watch your language.” She warned him, and was ready to throw another snowball at him with her other hand, but he reacted quickly to it and grabbed her other hand too. Mikasa struggled to free herself from his tight hold, but all the struggle earned her was falling back onto the snow, with her hands pinned down to the ground on each side, and Levi hovering over her.

Her eyes met his in a silent moment, and she stayed still, her breath stuck in her throat. He looked down at her with his sharp, blue eyes, and her heart skipped a beat, the heat in her body burning, as if she wasn’t lying in a field of snow. She parted her lips to ask him to get off her, but next thing she knew, his lips pressed against hers forcefully, and her eyes shut within an instant. She lay motionless beneath him, melting into the moment helplessly.

 _Why wouldn’t her body move?_  She asked herself.  _Why wouldn’t she push him away?_  She began to feel the heat reach her face, and her chest tightening in anticipation.

_Why was she letting an engaged man kiss her?_

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this first chapter and I hope you're enjoying the story so far. ♥


	2. Temptation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly nsfw. It also has a disturbing scene and some sensitive topics are discussed in it (miscarriage and cheating).

The moment their lips touched, a warm feeling emerged through her body, defeating the cold breeze that blew gently in the air. It was the first time in so long that she'd shared such an intimate, physical contact with someone, strange but tempting all the same, and a strong urge to wrap her arm around his neck threatened to overcome the must to push him away—slap him, even, for daring to do such a thing. Her thoughts were brave, but they dwelt in reality, where her body refused to move an inch. She neither tried to stop it nor hold onto it, and somewhere in the midst of it all, she wished this could last a while longer, even if the words _"this is wrong"_ kept repeating in the back of her head, as though trying to convince herself of a lie she'd made up.

She could barely feel her surroundings anymore, her focus solely on the warmth his lips brought upon her, but before she could savor the taste of them entirely, she felt them part away from hers, and her eyes remained closed for a moment there, scared of what they'd open to.

"Hey, brat, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

She heard him say, and those words forced her to finally open her eyes, unsure of what he was referring to, but soon the image was clear, and the pieces fell together. She spotted Alex on top of Levi's back; all so clueless on what he did, and she understood that it was an accident—that made much, much more sense. Alex must have pushed him down on her when jumping onto his back. It was stupid of her to even consider that any of it was intentional—he was engaged, she reminded herself. She could swear it took him quite long to pull away from her, however, but she could blame that on her imagination and lack of sense in that moment.

Her breaths put a giant weight on her, all emphasized by her racing heart pumping against her chest, as the man eased his body off of her. She straightened up to sit, tugging at the crimson fabric around her neck with a shaking hand, trying her best to regain the breaths she had lost in the fervor of the kiss. It felt so real, blurred her from seeing what actually was. Her foolishness to have jumped to conclusions so fast was a burden she had to carry with her now. At the moment all she could think of was how grateful she was for not attempting to return the kiss. For once she was thankful her body refused to react accordingly with her thoughts, for his eyes would have been the last thing she'd get the courage to stare into afterwards.

"You didn't break any bones, did you?" Levi's tone didn't hold any kind of fluster. He merely offered his hand to the girl in an obliging manner, to help her get on her feet. He appeared so cool-tempered, as if what happened didn't count for more than any other accidental bump, as if their lips didn't part just a moment ago. He didn't even seem apologetic about it. Not that any of it was essentially his fault, but she thought it awkward to act as though nothing happened, and the lack of acknowledgment in his eyes only triggered her frustrations more.

"No…" Her eyes caught his glimpsing at her lips for a brief second there, one that could easily be missed had she blinked, and she thought he was about to make a comment about what just happened, finally acknowledge it so they could put an end to the awkward feeling that settled in her stomach, but he said nothing.

Mikasa observed the hand he held out to her quietly, and with a bitter taste burning the back of her throat, she simply pushed herself up and got on her feet on her own, as though punishing him for the lacking remark, trying to prove a point she didn't even need to make; that she didn't need his help or acknowledgment, that she was good by herself.

Levi took note of that, but refrained from making a remark still, merely let his hand fall to his side as he watched her in silence.

For some reason it still pissed her off that he stood there with no reaction whatsoever. Mikasa replayed the events in her head, trying to reevaluate the situation, and she came out with the conclusion that it was a mere accident, nothing more, nothing less. She overreacted, misjudged everything, and that was the end of that. Addressing it would only make it a bigger deal than it was, and perhaps he did her a favor by ignoring it all. Perhaps she should do the same.

She brushed the snow off her clothes and hair, fixed herself up, then glanced down at the little boy, trying to sound as natural as possible when she spoke, "Alex, come on. Let's take you home now."

"Okay mom!" Alex kept a sweet tone and rushed towards the woman, taking her bigger hand in his smaller one, then looking up at Levi, "Dad!" he called, and held up his free hand to him, gesturing at him to hold it, too.

Levi eyed the boy's hand temporarily, as though he was debating whether he should hold it or not, and when his eyes met Mikasa's, she took note of his hesitance. Somehow she felt a slight boost in her pride and confidence, just from knowing that he wasn't as unaffected and calm by the previous events as he made himself be. She could almost sense a smirk beginning to tug at the corner of her lips as satisfaction filled her.

Levi took the kid's hand in the end, and the three of them finally began their walk back. Ending today's little adventure with a bonus of having a good souvenir before Christmas wasn't so bad, after all.

As they arrived at Alex's home, it was time for them to say goodbye to the boy who'd offered them a free trip back to their childhoods, giving them a nostalgic taste of what it all was like back in the day, and a sour reminder of how different it all was now.

They paused at the front, waving their hands at the kid.                                                             

"Thanks a lot. I had so much fun today. This is the best day of my life!" The boy wore a bright grin while expressing, shaking the bag of new toys in his hands excitedly, the necklace around his neck.

There was a proud smile across Mikasa's cheeks, for she remembered how sad he was when she found him, and how happy he was now. Putting a smile on a child's face was as big of an accomplishment as any other, and the satisfaction it gave her was incomparable.

"We enjoyed this just as much." She brought her height to his and bent down to him, giving his hair a final ruffle, "Just make sure not to break your toys, alright? Keep them safe, so you can always remember us." She said, wishing the memory of this day would last with the kid forever, so maybe he could remember, whenever he was older, stuck in a dark world, that there was always good in life.

"I promise!" He giggled, "I'll never forget this day!" He waved at them, and turned around, running back to his home, to his real family.

"What an adorable kid." The words left her mouth a bit too wistfully than intended, and she held up the scarf to cover her lips, following the kid with her eyes as she stood back up, until he made it to the door.

"Yeah." Curiously -but not so remarkably- Levi's eyes examined her features. She appeared sad, he thought. "Let's head back, too." And once the words left his mouth, he felt a drop of water fall onto his cheek. He looked up to the sky, and it was only seconds before it started raining heavily. "Shit…" he cursed.

"I should've brought my umbrella…" She had it in her hand before she left the suite, but changed her mind last minute; thought the walk wouldn't last long enough for her to get caught in bad weather. She was, indeed, mistaken. Nevertheless she let out a soft breath, "I guess it's okay if we get wet a little…"

Her eyes were busy admiring the fall of the rain, when her gaze fell back to her own hand upon feeling a tight hold around it. It was Levi, seizing her hand and dragging her with him in a hurry, stealing her away from an awfully beautiful moment she would rather enjoy.

"I'm sure you'll be very thankful you let yourself get wet when you're lying sick in your bed and thinking back to this moment." He said mockingly, though she could care less about his remark, all her eyes could focus on was the tight grasp he had around her wrist. It wasn't so bad to watch him from the back and let him lead the way, either. In the least it prevented him from seeing the pink color that tainted her cheeks at the thought of their so called 'accidental kiss'. That alone was enough to fill her with warmth again, and she used her free hand to pull up her scarf, and cover half of her face, looking away in the process.

 

* * *

 

"Look at your face…" She pointed out once they arrived back to the hotel. Their clothes were dripping wet, their hair, too. Her hand was still in his, but as they walked longer, their fingers intertwined—not that they paid much attention to it,  _or did they?_ "You look awful."

"I'll bet that I've looked worse." He said with a grumpy face. Somewhere in the middle of trying to make it back to the hotel fast, Levi had given up on it, for their clothes were already too wet.

"Levi…" Petra's sudden call stole Levi's attention from Mikasa. She was sitting on a couch in the lobby, having been waiting for his return. She got up and approached her fiancé, surprised to see him in the company of Mikasa. Her eyes couldn't help but spot their intertwined fingers, and the sight of it drew a slight sharpness to her gaze.

"You're back." Despite noting the way his fiancée was observing him, Levi's hand was still holding Mikasa's, as though oblivious to it all, though the latter pulled hers away when noting how Petra kept eyeing her.

"Looks like you were having lots of fun." Petra said with a bit of a forced smile, and struggled to get the next part out, "I'm glad you found some company while I was gone."

"How was your meeting?" Levi ignored her obvious snarky remark, and decided to change the subject.

Petra breathed out, "Like any other meeting; full of business talk." Her arms crossed in front of her as she added, "We should get you back upstairs to get changed. You'll get sick."

"I need to go, too." Mikasa excused herself to leave. Petra's gazes were making her feel the uneasiness in her presence. There was no reason to stay, after all.

"You probably want to take a hot bath, too. Drink something hot… you know, just in case." Levi managed to say before she'd leave, and she paused to look at him curiously.

"Yeah… I'll do that" Giving him a nod, she turned again and walked away.

"I think you're a little bit too concerned about her…" Petra was unable to hide a frown from showing on her face once the other woman was gone.

"Am I?" Levi arched his brow at her, “What, you jealous or something?”

Petra’s cheeks flushed, “I’m  _not_ jealous!”

“You  _sound_  jealous.” he pressed, merely to tease her.

“I’m not!” she claimed, huffing in frustration.

Levi shrugged his shoulders and sighed,  "You should be concerned about me too. I could get sick."

"I hope you do." She mumbled and rolled her eyes, walking away from him to head to the elevator.

 

* * *

 

The walk back to her suite felt somewhat longer than usual, and the moment Mikasa's feet led her inside, her back and arms pressed against the closed, wooden door, seeking support to stand still. Her hand slid underneath the coat she wore and rested on her chest, feeling her racing heart over her slightly wet turtleneck.

She thought she was calm, but only now did she realize it was all just pretend, putting up an act while he was around. She never was calm, not ever since Levi's lips pressed to hers, and the feeling it created was far stronger than her. She couldn't put her finger on it exactly—she wasn't attracted to him, really, but there was something else. It was the intimacy itself, the contact she shared with him. She'd been strange to that ever since her breakup. She hadn't gotten into another relationship afterwards, nor had she shared such intimate moments with someone else. It was all the memories it revived within her, wanted and unwanted, and only then did she come to realize; maybe she wasn't as strong as she deemed herself to be.

He was engaged, she reminded herself again, and that thought was enough to help her catch a breath, focus back on reality, on the present time. Her feelings were only a result of her past experience, an experience she clearly didn't get over entirely yet.

She pushed away from the door, placed her purse on the dining table and headed to the bathroom. A hot bath should do, she decided, and slowly stripped down from her wet clothes.

 

* * *

 

"Can you get me some clothes from the closet? I'd rather not get everything wet." Levi asked, calling for Petra from the bathroom while he started taking off his clothes.

He was getting prepared to take a bath, too. Petra joined him in the bathroom shortly after having removed her jacket, bringing him some new and dry clothes as he requested.

He was topless, and after strenuous hours of boring business talk, she couldn't help but seek to release that tension. Her hand reached out slowly to rub his back, her expression seeming to have softened since they left the lobby.

However, her eyes spotted something new on her fiancé; a necklace hanging around his neck, and she couldn't help her curiosity, "Where did you get that from?" she walked around to face him, taking a better look at the object, "It's pretty."

He held the necklace up with his finger, observing it, "A shopkeeper gave it to me." That was putting it simply.

"That's… a very generous shopkeeper." Petra's brows arched in surprise, "Was there a reason for that generosity?"

"It's a long story." Levi claimed, unzipping his pants.

"I'd like to hear it." Petra insisted, the mystery of the necklace only making her more curious.

Levi's lips parted, wanting to argue, knowing that she most probably wouldn't like the story after hearing it, but all that came out was a sigh. She would persist, he thought. "He was giving out these necklaces… to people visiting his shop."

"Just for visiting?" Petra chuckled, "Sounds like an interesting shopkeeper."

"Yeah…" Levi shrugged.

Petra hung his clothes on the wall and turned on hot water to fill the tub, before she started undressing. "Did you want to buy something from there, or did you just go to get a free necklace."

Levi watched her quietly, kicking off his pants and sighing, "You know me; I love free necklaces. I go wherever they are."

"Of course." Petra nodded, and turned to face him. She stared him up and down and slowly approached him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she joined her lips with his.

Levi knew what was coming, and at the time, all he could think of was that her lips felt  _nothing_  like Mikasa's.

 

* * *

 

Mikasa was right. The bath did help her relax and clear her mind. She felt calm, peaceful, her body warm and light, immersed in the hot water. Her eyes opened to the ceiling, and slowly moved lower, inspecting the room. Nothing more satisfying than taking a hot bath while it was pouring rain outside, and there was a satisfied smile sitting on her face, as she stretched a little, making herself comfortable and listening to the rain outside. That smile faded away, however, as soon as her gaze landed on the bathtub. Her eyes widened in shock at the sight of a red fluid tainting the otherwise clear water she was sitting in. Her hands grabbed onto the edges of the tub, shaking tremendously.

"No…" her head shook as she pulled herself out of the bathtub, soaking the floor as she stepped backwards. She stood there in her place, frozen, her body seeming unaffected by the cool air she exposed it to as all she could do was focus on the bathtub. The red had soon faded, mixing with the rest of the water, and she placed a trembling hand on her stomach, slowly looking down. She saw red trails tracing her thighs, and at that she let out the heaviest breath yet. It was just her period, she realized, but nevertheless the tears still made it to her eyes, and eventually trailed down her cheeks.

She covered her face with her hands, sobbing quietly. She felt hopeless, broken, and scared, as it didn't matter what she did, or where she was. She couldn't run away from her past.

 

* * *

 

"I just ordered the food to our suite. It should be here shortly." Petra stated, heading to the living room where her fiancé was sitting. Strangely, he was getting ready to leave apparently. "We're going to have dinner together, where are you going?" Her eyebrows furrowed at the slightly taller man, for she was hoping they could enjoy at least having a meal together, alone, which they didn't do since coming here.

"I'm not hungry... I'll go for a walk outside." Levi replied.

"It's cold outside, you'll get sick… Don't you remember how you got all wet in the rain this morning?" The woman tugged at his jacket pleadingly, but he simply took her hand off it and held it in his.

"No. I'll be fine… You could join me if you like, though." He gave her hair a light ruffle.

"No." She turned her back to him and walked back to the bedroom. "I'm tired, and I'm going to sleep soon. Just don't be late."

"I guess today's bath used up all your energy after all." Levi teased, drawing a strong blush on Petra's cheeks. He couldn't see it because she wouldn't turn to look at him, though. She simply walked off frustrated with clenched fists.

Levi smirked from behind and walked to the door, leaving the suite and walking in the corridor. His eyes landed on the closed door of Mikasa's suite opposite from him, encountering an unstoppable flashback from their journey this morning; their accidental kiss more precisely. It wasn't quite accidental, though.

The accident was limited to the part where Alex jumped on Levi's back and pushed him down. He didn't quite fall, though. He could have pushed himself up in time, but he let it all happen. Not quite sure why he wasn't regretting it, either. He could still taste her lips in his mouth. The only thing that was a bother to him was how repulsed he felt while kissing Petra later on, or how he wasn't feeling into it while sharing that bath with her. He wasn't supposed to feel that way towards her. She was his fiancée. They were going to be getting married soon. She would be the woman he would spend his life with.

Levi guessed it was a matter of commitment. He could consider it a test, and no matter how much he'd get distracted, he would keep focusing on the real matter; that he was an engaged man now. He ought to stay loyal to the person he chose, shouldn't waste a precious relationship just for the sake of a temporary whim.

He was in the lobby, soon, when a big plaque fixed to the wall caught his sight, dragging him out of his cloudy thoughts. It wasn't there this morning, and out of curiosity, he walked to it to read it. It was an announcement of a party:

 

* * *

 

_In honor of our hotel's first anniversary, the manager, Erwin Smith, is pleased to invite all guests currently staying at the hotel to a party scheduled on December 4th, starting at 7p.m. The party will be taking place in the hotel's restaurant. Food and drinks will be free to all guests._

_Your attendance will be much appreciated._

_Many thanks._

_The Hotel Staff._

 

* * *

 

As Levi finished reading the announcement, his eyes drifted swiftly to look inside the restaurant, where the party would supposedly take place, only he was surprised to spot the subject of his fantasies sitting there by the bar; Mikasa. He looked away from her in a moment of hesitation, considering a thought in his mind before settling on a decision. Maybe going outside wasn't a good idea anyways, and instead he favored the company of the woman. It was almost an instinctive feeling that compelled him to do it, one he didn't feel the need to fight.

"Enjoyed your hot bath?" He asked as a manner to get her attention, standing next to her, and she lifted her head to stare at him, meeting his eyes.

"Good evening…" She greeted back simply, and though she didn't look it, she was quite surprised by his presence. Her eyes lowered to her glass of wine, and she took a sip from her drink.

"That’s not quite the hot drink, though, is it? Are you stressed?" He guessed, and she looked up at him again with a questioning look in her eyes, "You said you only drink when you're really stressed."

"Right." She murmured, and merely gave him a shrug of her shoulders.

"I don’t suppose you’ve got a hot date waiting, do you?" he asked, gesturing at the empty stool beside her. He wasn’t quite sure what his heart really wanted the answer to be.

"I’ve got a hot date with alcohol if it counts." She said nonchalantly, and so he took it as a sign to sit down next to her. "I hope your fiancée isn't mad at you or anything. She didn't look so happy this morning." Her words had a hint of bitterness in them, and she seemed to care less about concealing that.

"She's fine." He'd expected worse, if he were to be honest, but perhaps the shared bath made up for her. That didn't matter so much now, though. "Did you have dinner yet?"

"No. I'm not hungry." She sighed, her lips brushing the edge of her glass as she murmured the words before sipping the drink.

"That makes two of us." Levi said, lingering his stay and inviting himself for a glass of whiskey for his own amusement. He found it quite interesting that last night neither of them could sleep, and tonight neither wanted to eat, made him wonder if the list of things they had in common would keep extending.

"Do you have a cigarette?" She asked, swallowing the last sip of her drink and putting the empty glass down on the counter.

"No. I don't smoke… and I don't think you're allowed to smoke in here." He alerted, pointing at a sign on the wall on her right that said with big, clear letters: No Smoking.

She grumbled in a fatigued tone, running her fingers through her hair and pushing her bangs back.

"You look like shit." Levi observed the tired look on her face, a hint of despair in the luster of her eyes; as though she were a different person from that he spent the morning with.

"Thanks." She rolled her eyes and huffed, "That might have to do with the fact that I feel like shit." she admitted, and proceeded to order another drink.

"I see. Alcohol is definitely the best way to treat that." Levi said in such a monotone voice, she wasn’t even sure if he was serious or sarcastic.

Her gaze held his for a moment, doubt in her eyes, hesitance tugging at the edge of her mouth, though her throat throbbed uncontrollably, threatening to spill what she intended to keep buried within. Her eyes glistened with tears, but she held them back successfully and looked down at her now-filled glass of wine. She took it in her hold and sipped from it, letting out a soft breath, "When I came here… I thought I'd moved on… thought I'd be able to… enjoy this trip without having to dwell on memories, but I was wrong. The past is still chasing me."

"You thought you could just run away from it?" Levi grabbed his own glass, and took a small sip. He wasn't about to question her choice to speak, perhaps she needed to let some steam out as anyone would, and that could tremendously help her feel better.

Her gaze darkened, as though taking offense to his words, and she took a sip from her drink, trying to drown all those feelings.

Levi frowned, and then added, "All you can ever do is accept it, live with it. You can't pretend that it never happened, and you can't change what's already done. The only thing you can do is try to live your life with no regrets. Understand that the choices you made in the past were ones you believed were the right thing to do, and that's what matters."

Her eyes glinted, listening to his words, unexpected yet not entirely unwelcome wisdom. She eyed him from the corner of her eye quietly, and breathed, "What if those choices were wrong, though? How can you possibly live without regretting them?"

"By making sure you don't make them again." He answered. "You never know what the outcome of your choices is going to be at the time."

Mikasa nodded, huffing as she sipped her drink again, "I guess… that's not wrong."

Levi turned his face to look at her, his hand shaking the glass in his hold, toying with the liquid inside it. He seemed to debate whether or not he should say his next words, but he said them nonetheless, "You were right… about what you said this morning."

Mikasa didn't seem to catch what he meant, and she eyed him with slight confusion.

"About… marrying Petra." He confessed, and immediately sipped from his drink afterwards. He'd have to live with the choice he just made, sharing something so personal with her.

"What about it?" Her dark eyes fixed on Levi's lips as he spoke, then gazed down at the drink in his hand.

"I didn't know… how to thank her for what she did for me…" he started, and realized he sounded so stupid. His throat felt dry after saying those words, so he decided to drink some more.

"Marriage shouldn't be a price." She gave him a look of reproach.

"I know… that's why I'm hoping I won't regret it later." Levi didn't understand why he felt so comfortable talking to her about such things, but he did, and he enjoyed it.

"I guess you can't find out the answer to that now." Mikasa shook her head. "Sometimes you think you know something… but you end up being wrong about it all."

Levi noted the change in her tone, full of sadness and pain, and so he spoke reassuringly, "You… don't have to talk about it… It's okay if you're…"

"Shut up." She cut him off, "I want to talk about it."

"Okay." Levi waved his hands in the air defensively, deciding to remain quiet and let her talk about whatever she wanted to talk about, and he'd happily lend her a listening ear if that was all he could offer.

"I… was in a relationship…" she gulped, clearing her throat, "A happy relationship… I had a loving boyfriend, one who understood me, supported me, and stayed with me no matter what I was going through. I had no doubt that he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with… I trusted him so much, even more so when he proposed to me last year." Her right hand reached to touch her left one, where a ring once was, but was there no longer. Her lips pressed into a thin line, before parting again, "And then one day… my neighbor knocked on my door. We didn't get along so well, and I thought she wanted to complain to me about something that I did wrong… but instead she came to tell me that my fiancé was cheating on me."

To his own shock, Levi's eyes widened.

"I didn't want to believe her… I had no reason to." Mikasa added, biting the inside of her cheek, trying to keep herself focused on telling the story than to dwell on it, "She said that her husband once was cheating on her too, and that she would never want to see someone go through the same, even if it was me…" She sipped her drink again, attempting to stop the burn in her throat, "She… had a friend who worked in the same company as him… and told her he was having an affair with one of their coworkers. Of course, she didn't tell me about this until she confirmed it. She had to follow him, and when she made sure, she came to tell me…" she placed her glass down, a blurry reflection of her eyes showing on the surface of her drink. "He called me that day to tell me he was going to be late because of work and wouldn't come back home that night, but my neighbor told me he went to a hotel with that woman…"

Levi clicked his tongue in disgust at her words, finishing his glass and glaring at nothing in particular.

"I couldn't sleep that night. I couldn't stop thinking about what my beloved fiancé is doing with that woman, couldn't stop thinking of all the lies he told me, and I believed all of them like an idiot." She shivered slightly, and wrapped an arm around herself, "The next morning I drove to the hotel… I had to make sure… I had to see with my own eyes, because he wasn't that kind of guy." Her breath hitched when she said her next words, "I didn't even have to go inside… the moment I stepped outside of my car I could see him, standing in one of the balconies." And with a long, heavy sigh, she added, "I felt sick to the stomach… just seeing him there, but I still needed to make sure, so I called him."

And her mind flashed back to that moment, still so fresh in her memory as if it had happened yesterday.

She'd leaned against her car, her phone in her hand, pressed to her ear, and her voice had threatened to break at any given moment,  _"Yes, I'm fine… I just wanted to know what're doing now."_  she'd gone quiet as she listened to him, her throat throbbing uncomfortably.

 _"A meeting, you say?"_  Mikasa mumbled, her voice slowly cracking. That was what her fiancé had told her; that he had a meeting in five minutes, that he couldn't talk right now, but that he missed her nonetheless. He'd even sounded apologetic as she said those lies.  _"That's okay… Before you go into that meeting, though, maybe take a look down here, first…"_

 

* * *

 

Mikasa sucked in a sharp breath, adjusting her seating position as she spoke, "He looked down… and saw me there. He was speechless, and all the hopes I had left vanished in a heartbeat. I just… took off that ring, got rid of it, and left." She looked back down at the surface of the bar, holding up her glass in the air, "At the time… I was pregnant…"

"Were?" Levi asked, though he could figure out what probably came next.

"I had an abortion…" she claimed, "The only thing I didn't regret… was that I hadn't told him about it…"

Levi looked at her, waiting for her to say more, but she stayed quiet, "Was that it? He didn't try… to talk to you, fix everything?"

She shook her head, "He knew better not to. There was nothing he could've done to earn my trust back, anyways, and trust is the most important thing in a relationship. If that's gone… everything else is, too."

Levi had nothing to say to that. She was right.

Mikasa tried to keep a smile on her face, drinking away her sadness as she added, "I have good friends, a loving mother and father; people that I trust. That's enough for me. I tried to move on with my life… and here I am now, sitting here with you and telling you my story."

Sharing a silent moment of mutual acknowledgment, there was a gleam in Levi's eyes, a gleam of satisfaction. He met this girl, Mikasa. She was a mystery, full of secrets behind those dim, nonchalant gazes, but now part of that mystery unfolded, and he could understand where that pain in her eyes came from. He could understand the meaning behind her words. He could read between the lines and see the truth; that she was a broken soul, broken but strong, and learning that only had him craving to know more about her, what more things she hid behind her stoic gaze. He admired her person, her will to keep going, even if she was struggling. What mattered was that she didn't give up.

"You're a tough woman." He couldn't put it in better words, and his fingers brushed the edges of her hair, moving it away so he could finally see her pretty eyes.  _Only an idiot would let go of someone like you._

"I know... That's what I keep telling myself." There was a mixture of seriousness and banter in her words, and her eyes met his for a long moment.

Both fell silent, allowing their eyes to speak of what their lips couldn't; of the tension that rose between them, the passion of allowing themselves to be vulnerable with each other, of their deep urges to touch their lips together once again, only without any accidents this time around. It was clear the drink influenced their brains, and even in the midst of all these urges, they realized it was wrong, that they shouldn't. It only remained a dying desire inside them, for neither dared to do it, not when Alex wasn't there to push them onto one another again and make that a sorry excuse for a second kiss.

The staring contest lasted a while longer, even the bartender started feeling uncomfortable, until Mikasa's eyes dropped from his and onto the ring on his finger, resonating in her head the fact that this man was engaged. This man would soon get married to another woman, and she had no right to think about anything between them.

"I… have to go back to my suite, now. I'm tired." Breaking through the silence, she mumbled, getting up of the stool.

"Want me to walk you to the door?" He offered and though his words were spoken teasingly, it was a genuine offer, and he prepared to leave his seat.

"No, thanks…" she shook her head at him, giving off a light smile, "I'll manage myself. There’s no need to trouble you with it."

"Yeah, but if you end up falling asleep in the hallway again, it's kind of going to be my problem, then." He still insisted, and she couldn't help but chuckle at his remark. "Remember… we're a family anyway. Give me your hand." Levi held out his hand to her invitingly, a very subtle smile stealing his lips.

She eyed the hand he was holding out, the hand he had the ring on, and she hesitated, gazed up at him, only to notice the necklace he was wearing; the one they got from their little adventure this morning, and she remembered how much fun she had at the time. It was enough reason for her to reach out, and hold his hand, "Okay."

Their hands only parted when Mikasa finally arrived to her suite, and she stood at her door with him before walking inside.

"Thank you…" She said, smiling.

"There's no need to…" he shrugged.

"Goodnight, Levi." There was a feeling within her, a wish that the night would last longer, that they'd get to talk more, maybe share more secrets, and though she couldn't really see her face, she could tell he had the same look in his eyes as she did, and for that she knew it was best to end it here and call it a night.

"Goodnight." He said, and could feel the disappointment when their conversation ended there. He turned around, walking back to his suite. At least he got to talk to her for a bit, regardless.

"Hey, Levi…" she called all of a sudden.

He could feel his heart skip a beat, and he turned slowly to look at her, "Yes?"

"So…" she began, "Did you see the announcement downstairs, about the party?"

The party? It took him a second, but he remembered reading the announcement, "Right, I did…"

"Are you… going to be there?" she asked.

Levi wasn't huge on parties, truthfully, but knowing that there would be a chance for them to meet at it again got him so stupidly excited to go. He gave a simple nod, "Sure…"

"Alright…" she nodded back, her lips curling up into a smile, "We'll definitely meet there then."

Knowing that made him happy, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

There was an uncontrollable, dumb smile on her lips, while her eyes followed Levi walking away. She pushed the door closed before he'd notice her staring, and froze, could almost hear her own heart beat fast against her chest. She couldn't understand why all that happiness within her existed right now, why the thought of seeing him again was so exciting to her. The more she thought about it, the more questions she had, but she was sure of one thing; she was looking forward to the party.

 

* * *

 

Despite Mikasa's absence from the city, her apartment wasn't empty. Her friends had been sleeping there day by day to keep an eye on her belongings. Historia was making breakfast that morning, when Sasha walked into the kitchen with half-open eyes and a messy hair, taking a seat lazily at the dining table.

"When did we sleep last night?" She mumbled.

"I don't know… Did we even sleep?" Historia yawned. They were rather enjoying their girls' night to even think about sleep, which resulted in them staying up almost all night long. They slept for barely a couple of hours.

"I'm so tired… Hurry up and make that breakfast." Sasha demanded, resting her head on the table.

Their attention was drawn to a sound coming outside the kitchen all of a sudden; of a phone buzzing in the bedroom.

"That's my phone. Come and watch over the food, I'll go get that." Historia addressed her friend and walked to the bedroom to get her phone from the nightstand. She opened her messages, and found that Mikasa had sent her two pictures of two dresses, and before she'd wonder why her friend sent those pictures, she got a call from her, "Mikasa?" She answered.

"Good morning, Historia." Mikasa said, "Did you get the pictures I sent?" Mikasa stood in a clothes store, looking at the dresses around her and trying to pick something to buy.

"Yes. What are they for?" Historia asked, walking her way back to the kitchen.

"I need your help… There's going to be a party in the hotel tomorrow, and I can't choose which dress to get." Tapping on her chin, she sighed and sat down on her bed, ruffling the fabric of one of the dresses.

"Oh! Give me a moment. Sasha is here too; maybe she can offer her opinion too. I'll call you back!" She eyed her friend who was standing by the stove and gestured for her to come.

"I'm waiting." Mikasa said and hung up.

"What is it?" Turning off the stove, Sasha walked to her friend.

"Mikasa wants us to help her pick a dress for a party." Historia explained as she opened her messages again to show Sasha the dresses she was referring to.

"Let me see." She took the phone from the other, observing the dresses carefully. One of them was a crimson, close-fitting, halter mini-dress, and the other was a black, strapless dress with a knee-length skirt. The two dresses looked gorgeous, and both would look just fine on Mikasa.

"I like them both…" Historia mumbled indecisively, looking at the pictures with uncertainty.

Mikasa was tapping her fingers on the phone, waiting for the call from her friends patiently, and she eyed her cell's screen until she finally got the long-awaited call. "So?"

"Listen, Mikasa…" It was Historia talking, "Both dresses look really lovely… so I guess it'll depend on… what kind of look you're going for."

"Black is good for formal occasions. It's sophisticated and neat…" Sasha said loud enough for Mikasa to hear her, "But the red is more… charming… and seductive."

"Are you going to the party with someone?" Historia asked, curious to know.

"What?" Mikasa raised an eyebrow at her friend's remark, almost choking on her own breath.

"Is he the one you were talking to yesterday?" Historia wondered, and turned on the loudspeaker when Sasha gestured at her to, so she could listen in.

"Historia… what even…" Mikasa stuttered, feeling the heat reach her face.

"I think red looks great on you, Mikasa." Sasha muttered.

"I second that. Hail the Red Queen!" Historia exclaimed playfully.

"Hail the Red Queen? Are you girls starting some kind of cult in Mikasa's kitchen?" Eren joined the conversation suddenly, walking into the kitchen.

"It's Mikasa we're talking to, actually." Historia explained, "She asked us to pick a dress for her, and we told her she looks good in red." Historia clarified to the boy.

"Oh?" Eren raised a brow, "I agree. I think she looks pretty in red. The scarf I gave her is enough proof."

"See, even Eren thinks you look pretty in red." Historia teased.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eren sent a suspicious look to the shorter girl, then approached the kitchen counter to check what they had made for breakfast.

"Yeah, I heard that." Mikasa snickered.

Historia smiled softly and added, "He's right… You have a lovely body. Don’t be afraid of showing it. That red dress will make everyone drool when seeing you, honey."

Mikasa's cheeks flushed with red, and she was grateful her friends couldn't see her face, "I see… thank you guys… I got to go now. Tell Armin I said hi."

"Okay! Have fun! And don't forget to fill me in on what happens at the party. I want all the details!" Historia said insistently.

"Right…" Mikasa huffed, "I'll talk to you later."

With the end of the call, Mikasa placed her phone back into her purse, took one final look at the two dresses before returning the black one to its proper place. "Red it is." She mumbled to herself, unable to hide a smirk from showing on her face.

Mikasa spent the rest of her day in her suite, for as soon as she returned to the hotel, it started snowing heavily outside, and she couldn't go anywhere in that kind of weather. It wasn't so bad, staying in the suite. She got to be warm, watched some movies, browsed through the internet, and then cooked herself some food in the evening.

When she finally decided to go to sleep, she could feel the butterflies in her stomach fluttering, both out of excitement and nervousness about tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

 

The long-awaited night came faster than they anticipated, and the engaged couple was getting dressed, though for different reasons. Levi was getting ready for the party, and walked out of the bedroom in a black suit, headed to the living room where Petra sat, putting on her high-heels.

"I won't be late. The meeting will take about an hour and a half." She straightened up her back and got up from the couch, stood in front of her fiancé to help him fix his tie. "I'll try to come back as quickly as possible so we can still enjoy the party together."

"No pressure, take your time. Work is more important than a party." He said nonchalantly.

"Still… They're serving free food. No one wants to miss out on that." Petra said jokingly and placed her hands on his chest.

"Good point." He nodded.

"However…" She started, and Levi recognized that tone, knew exactly what she was going to say next, "Just because they're serving free food and drinks, doesn't mean…"

"Doesn't mean I should drink, I know." He finished her words for her.

Petra crossed her arms against her chest, "Do you think I don't know that you went out drinking the other night? I could  _smell_  you."

Levi had nothing to say to that, and simply kept quiet.

"Should I stay here and watch over you like a little kid? We agreed that you should keep away from drinking. Doesn't matter how  _much_  you drink." Petra scolded, and she sounded more like a disappointed mother than a worried fiancée.

"Fine, I won't drink tonight…" He grumbled.

"Okay, good. I have to go now… Let's go together." Wrapping her arm around his, the couple walked outside their suite, and Levi glanced at Mikasa's door quickly, hoping to see her in the party tonight. He hadn't seen her at all yesterday, wondered what she'd been up to, if she were still going to the party. The only reason he wanted to attend was because he wanted to see her again.

When the couple was finally in the lobby, Levi walked her to the front door and stood there as she kissed him goodbye, and he had to force himself to return that kiss.

"I'll see you later. I love you." She said in a whisper, giving him another kiss before she finally left.

"Take care… and enjoy the meeting." He put his hands in his pockets, stood in the lobby for a little bit to watch Petra go, before he decided to go to the restaurant.

It was quite an impressive sight, seeing how many people were there, and the decorations were simple but fancy nonetheless. Most importantly, there were enough tables for everyone this time around. Levi looked around him for an empty table, and it wasn't long before he spotted one, so he walked there and took a seat. He made sure he could see the door from where he sat, just so he'd be able to spot Mikasa if she walked in. His eyes examined his surroundings slowly, searching for the woman he was impatiently waiting to see, making sure she wasn't already there somewhere.

He hadn't seen her at all since their night at the bar, and he couldn't help but feel slight emptiness all day yesterday, as though a part of him was missing. It was a strange feeling to say the least. He barely knew the woman, yet somehow he felt strongly attached to her, and he thought that only ever happened in stupid romance movies that he'd usually yawn and cringe at whenever he watched them with Petra.

"Sir, want me to get you a drink before we serve dinner." Levi heard the waiter asking him, interrupting his train of thoughts.

"No, thanks…" Levi shook his head, and the waiter nodded and walked off, leaving Levi with his legs crossed and almost fingers too, as he was starting to think prayers would make Mikasa show up faster.

Checking the watch on his wrist, it was nearly eight. Levi heaved a desperate sigh, tapping the floor impatiently with his heel, looking around him some more, before his eyes landed on the subject of his fantasies walking into the restaurant in a most stunning look.

Her hair was gathered in a back braid bun, her bangs still down. There was a small purse in her hand, and her eyes wandered around the place as she stood tall with the high-heels she was wearing. She didn't wear much make up, just a light lip gloss and some eyeliner—not that she needed makeup in the first place to look pretty. She was pure beauty in human form, and Levi observed her body from bottom to top, her long, bare legs, which the dress only covered down to her mid-thighs, the crimson fabric perfectly shaping her waist. Levi felt bad for even letting his eyes linger at the low-cut of her dress, revealing her cleavage, but she looked absolutely gorgeous, and her features were eye-catching. He had been helplessly staring at her ever since she stood there, until he saw her wave at him with a sweet smile. Levi cursed under his breath as he got up and walked up to her. She met him halfway.

"Good evening." She greeted.

"Yeah…" He mumbled, and the rest of the words he wanted to say got lost before they even left his mouth. Staring at her up-close was not helping his situation, at all.

"Petra didn't come yet?" She noticed the woman's absence, and how he was sitting by himself at the table.

"You… look beautiful in red." Levi only realized he said those words out loud as soon as he said them, and he bit his bottom-lip, cursing himself quietly.

"Oh... Thank you." Mikasa was taken aback by his unexpected compliment, a faint blush tainting her cheeks. "You look great in that suit yourself." She returned the compliment, squeezing her purse in nervousness.

"Red… suits you…" Levi wasn't even sure why he kept talking at this point. He wasn't good at giving compliments, and he surely didn't want to sound too flirty and make her feel uncomfortable. He should probably stop talking, really, before this would become awkward for the both of them.

"You think so?" Mikasa blushed, "I wasn't so sure about it, really…"

"No. It's not bad." He said reassuringly.

Mikasa's gaze stilled, fixed on his for a few quiet seconds before she decided to break that silence and ask, "So… are we going to stand or…?"

"Yeah—I mean, no." He shook his head, already feeling flustered, "That table's empty. We can go sit there." He pointed back at the table he was sitting at before she arrived, and Mikasa nodded at him.

They walked together to the table, and Levi decided to be a gentleman and pull the chair for her before sitting in front of her.

"You didn't answer my question; about Petra…" Mikasa said.

"She has a meeting right now." Levi answered, leaning back against his chair, "She'll be back later."

"I see." Mikasa nodded and placed her purse down on the table. "How was your day?"

"Nothing special, I went to the gym in the morning…" Levi shrugged, though he suspected even going to the gym could become exciting if he had her company.

"That's great…" Mikasa said, parted her lips as though to say something else, but remained quiet.

"Are you stressed?" Levi noted.

She blinked, "No…"

"Just making sure I won't have to carry you back to your suite again tonight." he explained.

Mikasa furrowed her brows and huffed, "You're not going to let go of that, are you?"

"Not until I find something better to tease you about." He teased, and saw her smile for a bit.

 _She has a beautiful smile,_  he thought, and wondered if he should tell her that or not. He refrained from doing so when he saw that smile fade away almost instantly, and he couldn't help a frown. "It's a shame, though…"

Mikasa looked up, not sure what he meant with that.

"For your ex-fiancé to have cheated on someone like you…" He finished his words, realizing how wrong they sounded, and it was now too late to take them back.

"Oh…" she breathed, "I guess… some men are just weak like that."

Levi couldn't agree more, "I hope you find someone again…"

"I don't  _need_  someone." She claimed with a serious voice, "I don't need anyone."

"I’m sure you don’t…" He commented, and hoped she was being honest, too. He was one to appreciate solitude more than most people would, didn't mind having some alone time every now and then. Social life wasn't so appealing to him, not unless he was socializing with Mikasa, apparently.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen." The hotel manager spoke through a microphone as he stood on the stage they'd set up before the party started, and once getting everyone's attention, he continued, "It's a pleasure to have you all gathered tonight for the celebration of our hotel's first anniversary."

Levi and Mikasa decided to remain quiet and listen to what the man had to say, though Levi couldn't help steal a few glances at her here and there.

They listened to him throw a speech, thanking the guests and staff all the same for contributing to bringing the hotel to the stature it had reached, and people clapped every now and then in appreciation.

“I wish you all a nice stay, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Enjoy your dinner." Bowing his head to the guests, the manager stepped back at last, and received loud applause as he left the stage.

Shortly after, the waiters arrived to serve the tables with the promised dinner for every guest, and they played some nice, calm music in the background.

"I'm in love with this place…" Mikasa admitted with a wide smile, and Levi couldn't agree more with her.

He nodded, and food finally arrived to their table, though neither of them started eating for they were quite busy staring at each other.

"Do you usually go to the gym?" He asked all of a sudden.

Mikasa blinked for a second, but answered nonetheless, "I used to go with my fiancé, but after breaking up with him I haven't been to it again… I was too busy with work."

"We should go together." He suggested, drawing a surprised expression on her face.

"Should we?" Mikasa arched her brows at him.

"Why not?" he shrugged, "Exercising is a good way to let off some steam… Get rid of all that bottled up anger."

He might be right, she thought and shook her head as she considered his offer, "Petra won't mind?"

"She doesn't have to know about every single thing that I do." Levi's eyes looked away from her for a second there, fully aware that Petra would, indeed, mind. "We're here, aren't we?"

Mikasa pressed her lips together, giving it a second thought, and then spoke, "I'm free tomorrow if you like."

His eyes widened in denial.  _Was she really saying yes to him?_  "Tomorrow?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, that's… fine by me…" he stuttered, unable to hide his excitement.

Mikasa smiled, amused by the look on his face, "You should give me your phone number… so you can text me the gym address." and totally not for any other reason.

"Right…" Levi nodded, "You mean now, or?" seeing her nod again, he reached his hand into his pocket and got out his phone. He unlocked the screen for her and handed it to her with slightly shaky hands, "There…"

She took the phone from him with a faint smirk, and tapped her number onto it, then called. Soon her phone rang inside her purse, and so she ended the call and handed him his phone back.

Levi put his phone back in his pocket, and tapped his foot on the floor nervously, "This… isn't… doesn't count as a date, by the way."

"Absolutely not," She shook her head, sounding nonchalant, "We're just going to the gym."

"That's all it is…" he gave another nod, then looked down at the food in front of them, finding a good change of topic, "We should eat. The food's going to get cold if we wait longer."

"Good idea."

They ate their dinner quietly for the most part, and enjoyed the music playing in the background. Some of the guests who were finished with their food decided to get up and dance a little, and Levi and Mikasa had enough by simply watching them. That was until Mikasa decided to talk.

"Let's dance." She suggested, her eyes on his.

"What?" He arched a brow at that. Levi was many things, but he certainly wasn't a dancer.

She left her seat and approached him, her hand held out to his, "Let's dance. I'll show you how…"

Levi hesitated, looked at her hand silently, and could almost feel sweat forming on his forehead. He couldn't refuse her, though, and he took her hand despite knowing he was about to embarrass himself in front of everyone else, especially her.

Mikasa led him away from the table, joining the rest of the couples who were dancing. She took both of his hands and placed them on her hips, and she could see a light blush on his face, intensifying when she wrapped her arms around his neck. She moved slowly, carefully, letting him get used to the music and movement.

Levi wasn't sure where to look—her chest was right in his face, and her eyes were slightly intimidating, and he couldn't look away and make her think he was ignoring her. Instead, his eyes caught something interesting, hanging about her neck, something all too familiar.

"You're still wearing the necklace…" he commented.

Mikasa looked down at him, nodding, "Yeah… and you?"

It was buried under his button-up shirt, but he still had it on him too, and so he gave a light nod in response.

"It's a lovely necklace." She said.

 _Just like you,_  he finished in his head. There was a strange feeling forming within him as he remembered the events of that day, their little family adventure, the toy store, the restaurant, and last but not least, the park—the kiss. He remembered how he was haunted by the feel of her lips against his for the rest of that day, how distasteful kissing Petra afterwards felt. He was looking at her lips, and upon realizing it he gulped and looked away.

He couldn't think about that, not now, not ever. He of all people should know.

"You're not doing so bad." Mikasa spoke reassuringly, getting his attention back to her. Their bodies moved together perfectly, carefully and slowly, it almost felt as though they were the only ones standing there dancing to the music, as though everyone around them had vanished, and given up the whole world for the two of them.

And all they could see at the moment was one another, completely blind to the Petra who stood at the entrance, watching the two of them from afar. She watched her fiancé hold another woman in his arms, dance with someone else when he always refused to dance with her, watched him look into another woman's eyes the way she always wished he looked at her. Tears burned within her eyes, but she ran away before any would fall, leaving her beloved fiancé stuck in his fantasy world.

"I'm sorry about that day…" he murmured, and she eyed him with a raised brow, "At the park…" he added, "I should've... pulled away sooner."

Those events haunted her just as much as they haunted him and Mikasa gave him an understanding look, and mumbled in a soft tone, "I'm sorry too…"

Levi wasn't sure what she meant by that, "What for?"

She didn't answer, but he felt her body press against his, and saw her leaning closer to his face, wasn't sure what she was doing until her lips touched his. His eyes widened briefly in shock at the unexpected contact, though they closed eventually on their own, his body giving into the kiss helplessly.

She broke away slowly, her forehead resting against his as she whispered, "That."

He cleared his throat, still in disbelief about what just happened, though the feeling still burned in his chest, unbearably painful, and his hand dropped from her waist to reach up for the back of her neck, bringing her closer to him again, and closing the distance with another, very-much intentional kiss, this time full of passion and desire. Their breaths were heavy against one another, and they parted their lips when the pleasure grew uncontrollable.

Her eyes flooded with as much lust and need as his, and although she knew very well that they should stop, she couldn't help but brush her lips against his once more, nor could he resist that either. They let the kiss melt their lips away together, sweet and hot, with gentle bites and tugs. It was everlasting and growing intensely by the second, challenging their cravings to seek more than  _just_  kissing. The tips of his fingers trailed her hips ever so lightly, and she shivered at that, squeezed his shoulders as she pulled back from the kiss to look at his face.

"Let's…" her eyes burned with desire, her breath hot against his mouth, and she whispered huskily, "Let's go to my suite…" It was all it took the two of them to push through the dancing crowd out of the restaurant. The moment they entered the elevator she pushed him against the solid wall, her body pressing against his. Their lips remained restless once joining again, his tongue licked off her lip gloss and devoured the tasty flavor of her lips, and when they arrived to the intended floor, their bodies pushed through the length of the corridor, her purse dropping to the floor the moment they were inside the suite and the door closed.

Her fingers dug on his tie, unfolding it, while his pulled her hair down. Their bodies fell onto the nearest couch, with him on top. His hands sneaked underneath the fabric of her dress and touched the soft skin of her thighs, up to the edge of her underwear.

She moaned into the kiss at the sensation, and her needy hands worked on undoing the buttons of his shirt, soon exposing his bare chest underneath. She let her palm and fingers roam around his muscled abdomen freely while discarding his tie onto the floor with the other hand.

Their lips smashed onto one another's for a while more before parting to explore other areas. She felt him pass his tongue over her neck while she nibbled on his ear. Her hand pulled his shirt and jacket off to feel his shoulder blades and wrapped her other arm around his back, trying to touch every bit of skin she could reach.

Levi inhaled her delicious scent, his lips trailing the skin of her neck with open-mouthed kisses, and he felt her hot breath against his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Levi-" She moaned his name in the faintest voice ever, her nails digging into the skin of his back, heavily gasping for air, her thigh rubbing against his, and his hand reached higher underneath her dress, all the way up to her waist and moving further, "S-Stop-" She breathed, the desire within her mixed with the sudden guilt that filled her, upon realizing what she was doing, who she was doing it with. "We shouldn't… you…  _you have a fiancée_." At those words, everything stopped, and their desire died in an instant, bringing them back to reality, kicking them out of the small world they created in that dance, the world which they owned together, without anyone standing between them, the world which sadly never existed.

His nose traced the length of her neck and up, nuzzling it against hers as he looked into her eyes. She stole the moment to kiss him again quickly, gripping tightly on his hair while so, and she pulled his head back, letting their eyes meet again, while stroking the soft skin of his cheek with her thumb. "I'm sorry. You should go…"

There was a clear hint of disappointment in his eyes, though his body shifted off of hers in a second. She fixed her dress and sat up in a hurry, panting. He buttoned his shirt, too embarrassed to look her in the eyes. It felt so strange; how a single word could kill off all that passion they shared just a moment ago. The only thing Levi regretted was not having thought of that even for a single moment, somehow the fact forgotten and strange to him.

_He had a fiancée._

He left without a word, without looking back, because he knew that if he were to look back, he'd regret leaving, might change his mind and go back, and that would do good to neither of them.

 

* * *

 

 

Lost and frustrated, Levi walked to his suite looking miserable. To his surprise, he found Petra in there, sitting on the couch and drinking.  _When did she come back?_

"You're back?" he gulped, walking to her, "I didn't see you at the restaurant…"

Petra had called the people she was meeting with at some point when she was driving, before she'd arrive to the location they agreed upon. She knew it was terrible what she was doing, but she did it anyway for she believed it was for a good reason. She'd asked if they could delay the meeting a couple more days, told them that she was feeling sick and wouldn't be able to make it.

It was a lie, and it seemed worthwhile at the time because she felt bad about leaving her fiancé by himself and not being there with him, her fiancé who was happily dancing with another woman in his arms.

"Of course you didn't see me… you were too busy staring at her." She pressed, filling up another cup of wine, but before she drank it, Levi held her hand and stopped her.

"Stop…" he said.

She slipped her hand out his grip, angrily. She stood and glared up at him, observing his figure in silence and disgust.

“You should go to bed." He was in no mood to argue, and she was drunk, probably didn't know what she was doing or saying—or maybe she knew exactly. Neither made Levi feel better.

"Where's your tie?" She asked, bluntly.

"What?" Levi paused, looked down at his clothes and realized that his tie was missing.  _Shit._

"…Your tie, Levi. You were wearing a tie before I left…" She repeated, and the whole scenario already played out in her head, the scenario of what happened to his tie. She could bet that if she were to go to Mikasa's suite right now, she'd find it right there.

He'd left the suite in a hurry, buried in shame and frustration, and hadn't even noticed that he'd forgotten his tie lying on the floor by the couch, where Mikasa sat still, holding the material in her hand now and observing it with grim eyes.

_TBC._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed on the last chapter. It makes me really happy to see old readers here, and I hope that you guys will enjoy the rest of the story. For now the plan is to post a chapter a week (on Tuesdays), so look forward to that!
> 
> Thank you for reading ♥


	3. Acquiescence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read and commented on the last two parts. I appreciate it a lot and it definitely warms my heart and encourages me to keep working on this.
> 
> I've added a couple scenes and changed a lot of things in this one. Warning for nsfw in this chapter. Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

There was an insufferable throbbing in his chest, and his eyes maintained a calm contact with the other. Even blinking felt threatening at the time, and his lips remained sealed.

"Don't look at me like that. Where's your tie?"  _Why are your lips ruddy? And why does your shirt look messy?_ The unspoken words clawed at her insides harshly, a tight feeling settling in her chest. She felt she knew the answer, could swear it, even, but still she would rather not hear it.  _Please, don't tell me you were with her. Don't tell me you kissed her. Don't tell me you let her touch you—you… my fiancé._

"I took it off…" he murmured, his hand reaching to sense the absence of the fabric around his neck. "I must have forgotten it in the restaurant." The claim was absurd, he realized, and could already hint disbelief in her eyes.

_Don't lie to me._

There was a knock on the door, followed by silence and the conversation died in a heartbeat as time froze. They shared the prediction of who might be behind the door, and if their guess had any chance of being true, it would only mean one thing for their relationship; the end.

_Please don't be Mikasa._ They prayed in the depths of their silence, and neither of them had the bravery to answer the door. Neither of them was prepared to see what was waiting for them on the other side. That was until they heard a voice, very much unfamiliar to the both of them, that of a man.

"Sorry for the disturbance. I'm one of the staff members, here to return one of your belongings." The man proceeded to explain, and a cold feeling settled below their stomachs.

Petra's arms crossed, and Levi's heart raced against his chest as he turned to answer the door himself, finally finding some of his lost courage as reassurance began to fill him. He inhaled deeply, and with a swift move, opened the door.

"Good evening, sir." The employee greeted with a grin, holding his hand up to present the item he came to return, "You forgot your tie in the restaurant, and I'm here to return it."

Levi glanced at it almost too quickly, quite convinced he was mistaken, but he wasn't. It was, indeed,  _his_  tie.

Unsure of the real scene, he reacted quickly to cut off any more doubts Petra might have, "Right, I was actually going back to get it just now. Thanks."

Releasing one last sigh, he watched the employee walk away from the suite after wishing them a good night.

Levi made a step outside for a moment to stand in the corridor, only to catch Mikasa peeking from behind her door. He could swear he saw her smirking before she went back inside her suite, and he decided not to linger there much longer and step back inside.

Despite the frustration, he was thankful to her. She had no idea what kind of trouble she saved him from getting into.

Glimpsing down at the neatly folded tie, he closed the door and turned around.

"So… it was in the restaurant?" Petra's tone didn't hold uncertainty any longer, which gave Levi a warm sensation of relaxation.

"I told you. It was hot down there with all those people in one room, and I couldn't handle it, so I took it off." Levi spoke, sounding more confident than he did just a few moments ago.

Petra seemed to hold her suspicions for a mere second there before unfolding her arms, tension leaving her body.

"How was the party?" she rolled the engagement ring in her finger, closing in to him slowly. She held the tie in his hand and took it out of his hold, letting it fall to the couch. Her eyes sought for his, hands tugging at his collar.

"It was alright," Levi breathed, feeling her hands settle on his chest.

The sensation her touch gave him was much more different than Mikasa's, so  _unbearably_ different. It was more uncomfortable than exciting, more distasteful than arousing, and he reached up to hold her hands, stop them from roaming around his body.

"You should've come." He said in a wishful tone, not because he wanted her to come, not at all, but because he hated the fact that he was craving the touch of another woman at this very moment, hated the fact that he couldn't even look into his fiancée's eyes, couldn't enjoy being with her.

Petra closed her eyes and buried her face to his neck, planting kisses onto his skin. Her nose, her lips, her breath, everything was  _so_  different.

" _You should have come._ " He mumbled again, his hold around her hands loosening by the second.

He wished she'd come earlier, before he'd set his desire free, before he'd give into her touch, before he'd kissed her, before he'd danced with her, before he'd talked to her, before he'd met her.

Her lips placed another kiss to his neck, another one lower, and one more, and with every button of his shirt undone, her lips had more to explore.

Levi wanted none of it, none of her. All he wished to do was push her away from him, but he couldn't. He _shouldn't_. Because she was his fiancée, and his guilt was eating him up, feeding on his growing regrets of having left Mikasa's suite, of not having let the night lead them away, so they could regret it all the same the day after.

All he wished for in that moment was to be with her, hold her, touch her, kiss her. If only that  _her_  was Petra.

Before they arrived to this hotel, her entire existence was unknown to him, and now she was everywhere. When his eyes closed, he saw her. When they opened again, her absence brought more disappointment than anything, but her scent still haunted his nose. Her touch still burned his flesh, ghostly but real all the same.

He could wish for one more chance, but was fully aware that wouldn't nearly satisfy him, for she made him unbelievably greedy and he wanted her for himself, and only himself.

It was lust,  _so why did his heart feel so involved?_

He would search for an answer, but somehow he felt that learning it would only make him question more. He would search for an answer, but Petra's touch was distracting him, keeping him for thinking about Mikasa, reminding him that  _she_ was his fiancée, and the latter was  _not_.

"Let's go to the bedroom and have our own party." She breathed out with swollen lips against his chest.

"Okay." He couldn't say no. He shouldn't say no.

She dragged him with her, holding his hand in hers and leading him to their bedroom. He walked inside with a confused heart and a lost mind, and joined her in their bed, discarding their clothes bit by it.

There was no tension, no desire, no need, just a tired body and an unwanted touch, forced kisses and a guilty wish for all this to end. It was a nightmare, but he'd always seen nightmares. They would end whenever he woke up, become forgotten with time. But this was  _reality_ , and, for the first time in forever, dreams seemed much more merciful.

* * *

"Breakfast is here." Petra announced, walked into the bedroom in her bathrobe and jumped to the bed over her sleeping fiancé. "Get up."

A tired Levi grumbled in a raspy voice against the pillow, "I'll join you in a bit." his words sounded almost muffled.

"Come on. Get up, honey." Petra's hips moved against him, trying to shake him off his sleepiness, but he didn't move at all. She leaned closer to his face and whispered, "What do you want to do today?"

Surprised by her question, Levi lifted his head off the pillow to look at her, "What do you mean?"

"Do you want to go out? Go somewhere?" She snuggled up against him and giggled.

"You… don't have work today?" He asked with a hidden, desperate hope that she did.

"Nope! I'm off today. We can at last make up for all the times we haven't spent together." She exclaimed eagerly.

"Oh? Is that so?"  _Fuck._

"Did you have any plans for today?" Petra sat up and shifted off of him to the bed.

"Not really—I was planning to go to the gym,"  _with Mikasa._ "But you'd probably want to do something else." Levi turned around to lie on his back, meeting her eyes with his.

Smiling, Petra shook her head, "No, not at all. I'd love to go to the gym with you."

"Would you?" Levi's tone was dull, but he hid it with a fake yawn, and buried his face back into the pillow, turning away from her.

He wasn't even sure if Mikasa still wanted to see him after last night, but knowing that Petra was going to be there the whole day made nothing easier.

"Yes, of course I would. I love exercising with you." She leaned in to kiss his shoulder, "Get up now. Let's go have our breakfast then get ready." She kissed him again then got off the bed.

"I'll join you in a minute." He watched her until she walked out the door, and cursed his luck under his breath.

* * *

Mikasa, who was awake for nearly an hour now, finished a quick morning shower, and walked out of the bathroom with a towel around her shoulders, when she heard her phone ring in the bedroom. It was a call from none other than Historia.

_"Come on, Mikasa. I'm your friend. Tell me what happened!"_ Historia begged. Curiosity was eating her up ever since Mikasa's last call, leaving her impatiently waiting to hear some news—more specifically about that secret guy.

"Nothing happened." Mikasa claimed, sitting down on the bed and using the towel with her free hand to dry her hair, "The party was for the hotel's first anniversary. They served free dinner for everyone, played some music and that was it." Her voice was undoubtedly calm, sounding genuine.

_"You know that's not what I'm asking about. Tell me about the guy!"_ Historia insisted, not buying her friend's statement.

"What guy?" She let go of the towel and let it rest on her shoulder again, amused by the urgency in Historia's voice.

_"The one you made us choose a very sexy dress for you to seduce him with."_ Historia teased.

Mikasa couldn't help but snicker, though she stayed composed as she spoke, "And what makes you  _so_  sure that I wore that dress to seduce anyone?"

_"It's all clear from your tone, honey. You suck at hiding things."_ Historia knew her too well for her own good. _"Now tell me: is he handsome? What's his name? And what happened so far?"_

"Historia, once I see you again, I'll tell you everything. I really have to go now." She looked over at a gym bag she'd placed on the bed, and the gym clothes lying next to it. She had somewhere to be.

_"You're going to see him, aren't you?"_ Historia guessed.

"I'm going to the gym." She corrected, not that she was technically mistaken with her assumption either.

_"You're going to meet him there? Or are you going with him?"_

"Historia…" Mikasa heaved a sigh, "I promise that, once I'm back, I'll tell you everything to the boring details. There's nothing to talk about yet."

_"Yet?"_ Historia snickered, _"But there will be soon?"_

"I'll talk to you later, Historia. Take care." Mikasa brushed off the question, knowing very well that her friend would insist until she'd spilled everything if she didn't end the call.

Historia sighed, giving up at last, _"Fine. Enjoy your gym date. I bet he looks hot working out."_

Mikasa shook her head at her friend and ended the call. She sat there on her bed for a while, eyeing the gym bag and clothes.

She felt her phone buzz in her hand again, and half-expected it to be Historia calling again, but she saw it was a text from Levi instead. Her brow arched in interest, and she opened the text, read the gym address at the top, followed with something else:  _If you're still coming. Petra's going to be there too. She's off work today._

_Oh?_  Her brows furrowed at the last bit, but she shrugged her shoulders and got up. She still had to dry her hair and get dressed.

* * *

Levi sat in the passenger seat of the car as Petra drove to the gym. He rested his chin against his palm and stared outside the window, at the snow-covered roads and buildings, a sight to behold.

"It snowed a lot last night. If it keeps snowing like this, the roads might get blocked." Petra commented, attempting to break the silence that had settled in the car for a while now.

Levi didn't seem interested in the subject, though, and found the view to be more interesting, as it had all his attention.

Petra noticed, and sighed, "Where did you spend last Christmas?" perhaps a change of subject would do, but Levi ignored her still. "Levi!" She called out, a bit loudly, and he finally heard her.

His palm slipped, startled, and he looked at her, "What?"

"Is everything okay?" Petra asked, her eyes on the road before her.

"Fine…" He shrugged and crossed his arms, heaving a sigh.

"I asked you: where did you spend last Christmas?" she repeated, still curious to learn the answer.

"I don't remember." He said simply, more to get rid of her than to initiate a conversation.

Raising an eyebrow, Petra sighed, "You don't remember? Is it that you spent it with another woman and you don't want to tell me about it?"

"No. I  _just_  don't remember." He grumbled.

Petra was still not convinced, and she rolled her eyes at him doubtingly, "It must have been a really pretty girl to have made you forget where you were."

"Are you fucking deaf?" Levi snapped, a bit too angrily perhaps, "I said I don't remember. Is that so hard to believe?"

Petra's eyes widened in utter shock; he never yelled at her like that before. Clearly he was having a temper today, and she wanted none of that.

"Fine, you don't remember." She huffed in frustration, "It's just weird because it happens to be your  _birthday_  too. I guess you've never been much for celebrations anyways."

"I'm not." He claimed, and the rest of the ride was silent.

* * *

Mikasa was on her way to the gym as well, driving her car and listening to the radio. It wasn't anything interesting, just a means for distraction. She heard them mention something about a possible snow storm, and how it would be better to stay inside for the next couple of nights.

She couldn't hear the rest of it, for her phone started ringing, and she reached her hand out to grab it from the phone holder.

It was a call from her neighbor, Rico, and Mikasa took a second before accepting it and pressing the phone to her ear. "Good morning, Rico." She said, her voice calm, and listened to her friend talk for a bit more before adding in response, "Right… I'm sorry I didn't call, but I am doing fine. No need to worry about me." Mikasa's brows arched slightly, as though she was being scolded, "I'm fine, I promise. I'll drop by your place when I'm back and you'll see for yourself." Soon her expression softened, and she wore a smile instead, "Yes. I know… Thank you for everything… Take care of yourself."

The call ended soon after, and Mikasa placed her phone back down, her eyes fixed on the road again. By the looks of it, she should be there soon.

* * *

Petra arrived to the gym with Levi, and wasted no time to get on a treadmill and start warming up a little bit. However, Levi on the other hand was just sitting around, looking at the gym entrance as though he was expecting something or someone to show up.

"Levi, why are you looking at the door like that?" Petra asked.

"I'm not looking at the door." He claimed, "I'm looking at the snow. I love snow."

"You do?" her eyes narrowed at that information. She had no idea and his monotone voice made it harder to believe. "Since when?"

"Childhood, actually, used to spend the whole day outside playing." He answered.

"Oh!" Petra exclaimed, "Interesting that you remember your childhood better than last year's Christmas."

"You know what they say about those childhood memories…" Levi started, not quite sure he was actually quoting anything in particular, "They never die."

Petra's eyes twitched slightly, trying to ponder that in her mind for a while, realizing she wasn't familiar with that saying at all, but decided to shrug it off and sigh, "Well, maybe you should start working out, since that's why we came here, you know,  _to_   _work out_."

Levi looked back at her for a second, then back at the door.

Mikasa never really replied to his text. Was she still upset with him? He wouldn't fault her if she were—the thing was that she was the one who initiated all of it last night, and if anything  _he_  was supposed to be upset.

His brows furrowed as he looked down, realizing he probably wasn't going to see her today at all. Maybe he should have called instead of just texted her, but he truly didn't know what to say to her without getting all flustered again.

He looked up, let out a long and heavy breath; decided he was better off working out instead of thinking about this nonstop. That could help ease his thoughts a little bit.

His gaze went back to the gym entrance one last time, and he couldn't believe when he saw her walk through the door. He thought he was hallucinating for a second there, and he blinked a few times in denial, feeling chills run down his spine.

Levi stood up, saw Mikasa wave at him for a second before walking away somewhere less open. He looked over at Petra, saw her still focused on working out, and then said blatantly, "I'm… going to the bathroom. I need to take a shit."

"Oookay…" Petra rolled her eyes and merely offered a shrug, looking ahead of her unsuspectingly.

Levi's legs led him all the way to where Mikasa waited for him behind a wall, the distance feeling far and close at the same time, and he could feel his heart racing really fast, skipping a beat the moment he saw her next to him.

"Hey…" he greeted, and approached her calmly.

She leaned against the wall, and met his eyes with a faint smile as soon as he showed up. "Good morning." she greeted back.

Levi cleared his throat, and stared into her eyes, "I… didn't think you'd come."

Mikasa couldn't help but wear a faint smile, "I'm here to work out…"

"Of course…" he nodded.

She held his gaze for a moment, and soon her smile faded as she started, "I'm… sorry about last night…"

"Don't be." He shook his head at her, "I should've known better…"

"No…" she interrupted him, "I'm sorry… for asking you to leave." She corrected, and could see the surprise color his face in an instant.

"That's…" he gulped, feeling the heat reach his face, "It's… fine… I—"

Levi didn't know what to say, or how to say it, but that didn't matter, for Mikasa saved him the trouble of saying anything in the first place. She held him by the collar and pulled him in, joining her lips with his in a long and needy kiss, which he returned helplessly.

His arms wrapped around her waist with hesitance, holding her close as they exchanged their kiss, filled with passion that burned the two of them since last night. It was everlasting, making it easy to forget all the unwanted memories from last night's events, but soon they broke away to catch a breath, and their foreheads touched.

Levi hated to be the one to say this, especially after hearing Mikasa's words, but he couldn't act like nothing was happening, and the gym wasn't as private as her suite. "Petra's…" he breathed out, "She's still here…"

"I know." She sighed, and slowly let go of him and pulled away, "I just wanted to see you for a bit. You can go back to her."

"Or… you could join us?" he suggested.

Mikasa furrowed her brows at him, "That's a terrible idea."

He shrugged, "Just… pretend it was a coincidence."

Mikasa shook her head at him slightly, "She won't be happy about that…"

"No, but I will." He said.

Mikasa crossed her arms against her chest, "You… really don't care, do you?"

He didn't, and he felt terrible about it, but he couldn't lie to himself or to her.

She sighed, "Fine… I'm not a good actress, though. If she finds out, that's on you."

"I'll take the blame." He nodded, and watched her ready to walk away, though before she left, he called, "By the way… You… look nice in these clothes… I mean, you look nice in all the clothes…" he struggled a bit with forming a proper compliment, "Not that you'd need to wear anything to look good…" he bit his bottom lip as soon as those words left his mouth, drowning in instant regret.

Why did he think this was a good idea? Clearly he had no clue how to flirt.

Mikasa snickered at him, then approached him slowly and planted a quick kiss to his lips, "Thanks."

Mikasa turned her back to him, ending the seconds of tension they shared, and walked away. She walked straight to Petra, and tried to sound as believable as possible when greeting her.

"Good morning, Petra." Mikasa said, setting her gym bag down.

Petra almost choked on her breath when hearing the familiar voice, and she turned around to find Mikasa approaching her. "You?" she exclaimed, "Are you… stalking Levi or something?"

"Does your fiancé own this gym?" Mikasa wore a straight face, crossing her arms against her chest.

"So, you think I'm actually going to believe this is a coincidence?" Petra stepped off the treadmill, her hands on her hips, "That somehow you showed up here the same day we decided to go to the gym together?"

"You're free to believe what you want. I'm here to work out." Mikasa shrugged nonchalantly.

Petra's tone sharpened, "I know what you're trying to do, so how about you stop acting like an innocent, little girl. You're not fooling anyone here."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mikasa spoke in the most monotone voice she could possibly use, not even  _trying_  to argue.

Petra scoffed, "Just like you're not trying to seduce an engaged man so you can sleep with him, is that right?"

"Petra…" Levi decided to step in, noticing how the argument was only getting worse by the second, "What's wrong?"

Petra rolled her eyes, "You've got to be kidding me…"

"Your fiancée thinks I'm trying to seduce you so I can sleep with you." Mikasa explained, her eyes on Levi as she asked pressingly, "Do  _you_  think I'm trying to seduce you so I can sleep with you?"

Levi pressed his lips into a thin line, then looked over at Petra and sighed, "Petra… this is no place to make a scene."

"Right, so  _I_ 'm making a scene now." Petra furrowed her brows at him, "Well, then, you know what?" she walked to grab her coat and bags, then looked at the two of them, "Why don't  _I_  just leave you two together, and go back to my suite?"

"Petra—" he started, but she cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know, or see, or hear anything from you." She snapped, "I'll go back to  _my_ suite, and you can go find someone else who's willing to work for  _your_  sake so she can pay  _your_  bills while you go off having fun with a slut."

Wrathfully, Petra clasped her handbag and drew her way to the doorway to leave, but before she'd manage to, she felt a tight grasp around her wrist.

"Petra, wait…" Levi pulled her back.

"Don't touch me." She pressed her hands to his chest and pushed him off, slipping her hand out of his hold. She shot a glare at him warningly, backing away with slow steps, "Don't come after me. Go back to her. You're here to see her after all. I would also really appreciate it if you spent the night somewhere else. I'm sure you won't struggle finding a place, anyways."

The way her words came out, the way her eyes sharpened, and the way she smiled and shook her head, all of it left Levi stunned. She knew and he was sure of it. She knew ever since the moment he walked to their suite last night. Not even after that employee brought his tie back was she convinced, but she closed her eyes and pretended not to see. There was no need to argue anymore. Petra left, and Levi stood amidst curious eyes staring at him from almost every angle in the gym.

"I'm sorry." He felt a hand on his shoulder from behind, and heard Mikasa mumble, "Maybe I shouldn't have come, after all. I didn't mean to cause trouble—"

"I told you not to apologize..." He cut her off immediately, his voice nonchalant.

She huffed, "Yes. But not to the point where—"

"Forget about it."

* * *

Knuckles turning white from the tight hold on the steering wheel, eyes fixed on a road with an unknown destination, there was only one image playing on repeat in Petra's head, that of Levi with Mikasa; her  _fiancé_  with another woman. She gave into anger. She'd had enough with playing patient. She'd had enough with playing dumb, acting ignorant, avoiding all sorts of problems her relationship with Levi could go through. She'd been silent about a lot of things, for countless times, and she only hoped for him to do the same.

She had waited for him to see all her efforts, appreciate them and maybe start putting more work into their relationship. But all she'd ever gotten from him was the impression of being a source of trouble for him; a burden. She'd wanted to ask him why he proposed to her, why it felt like he didn't care, wanted to ask if he even really loved her. But she'd come to think it would sound dumb and unnecessary, always going back to the conclusion that Levi was clumsy by nature, didn't know better how to express his feelings, and that was fine by her. She wouldn't want to make him feel nervous, or pressured. She just wanted him to be happy with her.

The more she thought about it, the more she found herself increasing the speed of her car, in a rush to go back and lock herself in a room, stay there and reconsider some of the choices she made.

He did not deserve what she'd done for him. All her efforts were in vain and realizing it so late was fogging her mind and sight with a cloud of regret and shame.

She snapped back to reality at the sound of a car veering off the road, finding herself advancing in the direction of another one behind it. She gasped, and made a quick turn to avoid the crash, only to run into another car. Panicked, she hit the pedal. Her eyes shut tight, and all she could think of was death waiting for her. She heard some noises around her, some screaming, all of it sounding muffled, vague, fading away by the second, and then there was nothing but darkness.

* * *

Levi was doing some weight-lifting, though his eyes were on Mikasa the whole time, who was exercising on a bench. "You're strong." He commented, drawing her attention to him.

"I told you, I'm used to going to the gym. Just because I haven't been to one in a while, doesn't mean I've forgotten how to exercise." She smirked, amused by the look of surprise on his face.

"How hard can you punch?" He asked out of curiosity.

"Pretty hard…" She claimed.

"I'd like to see." He said, and put down the weights.

"Okay." Mikasa got off the bench and followed Levi. He handed her a pair of boxing gloves while he wore the focus pads.

"Don't hold back." He challenged, holding out the focus pads to her.

"You think so highly of me." She shrugged, uninterested. "How come my strength became such an interesting test subject to you anyways?"

"Well, it's good to let off some steam." He said, "Maybe you really want to punch someone. You can do this and imagine you're punching their face."

Mikasa decided to go along with it, and fixed her eyes on the pads, inhaling deeply as she concentrated her strength in her fists. She swung a punch at one of the pads, experimentally, carefully, and definitely not strong enough.

"You call that a punch?" He teased, and she rolled her eyes at him, "I almost believed you when you said you could pun—"

Before he finished, she threw another punch, slightly stronger than the previous one, but still not what he was hoping for.

"Is that it, Mikasa? I'm very disappointed." he spoke mockingly, hoping to rile her up, get her blood boiling, and she directed several punches at the pads, each one harder than the other, but Levi wasn't satisfied. He wanted more; more rage, more strength— _more_. "Look at me. Look into my eyes." She complied and he continued, "It's me, your fiancé, who cheated on you, who lied to you and promised to marry you, but then left you for someone else. Is that how hard you want to punch me? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you still loved me after everything."

His words were the spark she needed to light that fire in her eyes, fill her body with just enough rage, as if he knew exactly what to say to get it started.

She clutched her fists much harder this time, till her bones almost felt sore. If Levi had thought her expression was intimidating before, it was definitely nothing compared to the one he saw now.

She resumed the punching with full force, and she swung her fists to the pads, powerful and aggressive. Levi almost took a step back, but he stood still, receiving countless punches, again and again. He could now feel it; the real anger she was hiding within, and it was much more intense than he imagined it would be.

"Now that's what I call rage." He said, and he saw her look at him briefly before focusing her eyes back on the pads.

Between cut breaths and hard punches, Mikasa began to talk, "I just hope that… one day he'll understand what it's like… to love someone so much, give them everything you have… and then find out that you weren't worth anything to them."

Levi listened, carefully, noticing how her punches lost some strength to them when she started talking, realizing that behind that powerful and determined woman was a broken and fragile one, but that pain was her source of strength all along, and he found it admirable.

"Do you hate him?" Levi asked, genuinely curious to know.

Her cool gaze met his, "I do."

Levi felt her next punch stronger, and then said, "And that's where you get all this strength from?"

She merely shrugged, and focused on punching the pads instead.

"Do you think love would make you weak?" He wondered out loud.

"No." she claimed, "Love doesn't make you feel strong or weak. It makes you feel equal." She loosened her grip, and dropped her hands to her sides, eyes looking down, "But once that special bond is broken, nothing is the same anymore."

"So you're afraid of love?" he guessed.

She tilted her head to the side, eyeing him curiously, "Are  _you_  afraid of love?"

His lips parted slightly, his breath stuck in his throat for a second. "No…"

"What are you afraid of then?" Mikasa turned the question to him, and took off the gloves slowly.

Levi took off the pads and sighed, "Nothing in particular. I still… can't drive a car without having flashbacks from the accident, so I avoid driving most of the time… but I'm not scared of it."

"But you're scared of what would happen if you were to drive." She spoke, "You're not scared of driving, but of getting into another accident, of the consequences of your actions."

Levi's eyes narrowed at her suspiciously, "You're not a therapist, are you?"

She huffed and shook her head, then proceeded to say, "I'm afraid of trust."

"That's… understandable." Levi sighed, "But you can't live without trusting people."

"I know." She nodded, wiped the sweat off her forehead and added, "But I taught myself something important, to make sure I can keep going forward."

"What's that?" he asked curiously.

"I learned to trust myself, more than anyone else." Mikasa replied coolly, and proceeded to explain, "It might seem stupid… but it's not an easy thing to do. It's not easy to learn to accept yourself, to have the strength to stop people from hurting you. But once you've learned to love yourself more, trust yourself, know what you deserve… no one can get in your way."

"That's… smart."

Mikasa eyed him silently, pondering a question that kept begging to leave her mouth. "Why didn't you leave with her?"

Levi looked up at her, swallowed by silence, his lips pressing together, unsure of how to answer that question.

"If you were afraid of the consequences of your actions… you would've left with her, right?" she tried to make sense of it, but couldn't, and she desperately wanted to know exactly what was going on in his head.

Maybe he was simply afraid of the consequences of  _leaving_  again. He remembered all the regret that filled his chest last night when he left her suite, how he kept wondering what would've happened had he chosen to stay with her, and he didn't want to feel that again, didn't want to make a choice he  _knew_  he would regret.

The circumstances of their meeting had been so strange, yet so interesting. The interest they developed in each other surely grew into something more than a simple interest between two strangers who'd soon go on their separate ways. He felt attracted to her, and last night gave him all the proof he needed, but to what extent was that attraction? He couldn't tell whether it was simply lust that he felt for her, whether all of these feelings would vanish as soon as they got their urges fulfilled, or whether it was something more.

She didn't know how his hand landed on the back of her neck, just felt herself leaning forward to meet his lips. Their kiss lasted for a long second, before she broke away from it to say, "You make no sense at all."

"Maybe not…" he breathed out. "I'm not a very sane person after all." None of it made sense to him either, and he wasn't sure he knew where this was going, but he knew he loved the journey so far.

Mikasa smiled warmly at him and then suggested, "Do you want to go grab lunch together?"

He nodded, "Sure."

They went and showered first, got changed to their casual clothes, and then took her car and started driving. They hadn't even decided on the restaurant they wanted to go to when Levi's phone started ringing. He slid a hand to his pocket and pulled his cell phone out, seeing Petra's name on the screen.

He arched a brow in confusion, wondering why she'd call him, and he answered with a sigh, "Yeah?" There was a quick change in his expression from annoyed to concerned, the sharpness of his gaze vanishing as his eyes widened. "What? Where? ...Okay, yeah. Thanks for letting me know. I'll be there soon." He hung up.

"Is there a problem?" Mikasa saw the look on his face, noted the change in his tone, and couldn't help but feel worried.

He gulped, "Petra's in the hospital."

"Hospital? W-what happened?" she stuttered, her eyes widening at the news.

"I don't know. They said she almost had a car accident, and they took her to the hospital to make sure she was okay." He explained nervously, putting the phone back in his pocket and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Mikasa changed their direction to the hospital immediately, and they arrived in a few minutes to the destination. Once checking with the receptionist, they took the elevator and headed to the first floor, where Petra supposedly was. They rushed to the room, and as soon as they got there, they saw a couple approaching them.

"Are you Levi?" The woman asked.

"Yes…" he nodded.

"Right, I'm the one who called you." The woman explained and gestured to the man with her, "This is my husband. We were the ones to get her out of the car and call the ambulance."

Levi couldn't care less who they were at that moment, all he could think of was what kind of condition Petra was in. "Is she alright? What happened?"

The woman was about to answer when a doctor walked out of Petra's room, and Levi headed to him instead, Mikasa and the couple following behind him.

"Is she okay? What's wrong with her?" He asked in concern.

The doctor looked down at Levi and said, "I'm assuming you're the husband? No worries, sir. Your wife is alright. She will have to stay here a while so we can run some tests on her before we let her go, but as of now she seems to be stable."

Upon hearing that, Levi finally let out a breath he'd been holding for god knows how long, relieved to hear that she wasn't in danger. "She's… not my wife. She's my fiancée. What happened to her?" He questioned.

"We think she passed out from shock. There's no sign of physical injury whatsoever, but we're keeping her hospitalized for the time being just to be sure. She might need to talk to a therapist in case of psychological trauma, so we'll have one visit her as soon as she wakes up." The doctor explained and placed a hand on Levi's shoulder comfortingly, "You may see her now, but she'll need to get some rest, still."

Levi heard the woman and her husband say something to him, but he wasn't listening to know what they said, and he saw them walk past him soon to leave. It was only until he felt Mikasa's hand on his shoulder from behind that he snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her.

"Let's go see her." She said, rubbing his shoulder. She could see the hesitance in his eyes, but they walked to the room nonetheless.

He opened the door, and walked inside, Mikasa tugging along from behind, and he pulled a chair next to Petra, who lay in the bed asleep.

The silence was eerie. All that could be heard was the beeping coming from the heart monitor, and all Mikasa could see in Petra at that moment was herself, back when she lay in a hospital bed. Her eyes held nothing in them but sympathy and sorrow. Perhaps she didn't like Petra all that much, but she didn't hate her either. She felt an extreme rush of reassurance that no harm came upon the woman—at least according to what the doctor said.

However, simply knowing she was fine didn't stop her memories from flashing before her eyes again, and her hand rested instinctively on her belly, her fist clutching around her clothes tightly.

Levi's lips curled down, a subtle frown seeming on his face, and he observed Petra silently. He felt bad for her, no doubt about that. He never wanted to see her get hurt at all, and perhaps he should've considered that before letting her leave the gym like that by herself. She was mad at him, and he did nothing to make her feel better, merely stood there and watched her leave. This was his fault, he thought. He got her here because of his inconsideration and insensitivity.

Despite acknowledging that, despite feeling bad for her, despite worrying about her, it still wasn't enough to make him change his mind, to make him think he wanted to be by her side like she was by his back at the time when he was in the hospital recovering. The only thing he could think of right now was how dangerous it could be if they stayed together. He didn't want her to get hurt, not because of him. He didn't deserve it, not when she was so faithful to him and he was lusting for another woman's touch. Not when she loved him with all her heart and he felt nothing towards her but obligation to return a favor.

What was he marrying her for again? A thank you? A thank you for being by his side while he was recovering in the hospital?

What was he thinking this whole time?

Levi's eyes fell onto the ring on her finger, and he felt his chest tighten. Perhaps this was a wake-up call for him, to see his mistakes, to make things right, for the both of them.

He should have realized this sooner, every time they held hands, or kissed, or made love. He  _never_ felt love for her. He was grateful, but not in love. He wanted to thank her, but not devote his life to her. It was then that he realized: he was so unfair to her, for giving her hope that such a thing between them was even possible. She was a very nice woman, and deserved to be with someone who acknowledged that, someone who'd return her kindness and love, someone who was  _not_  him.

He could still fix it. It wasn't too late to make things right again. Maybe now wasn't the right time, but whenever she recovered, he had to make things right with her.

He couldn't give her what she deserved, nor could she give him what he wanted.

"We were never right for one another…" he mumbled under his breath, took a couple more moments before getting up, beating Mikasa to the door and leaving.

Mikasa watched him walk away, blinking at his words, and she stood there some more, her eyes venturing back to Petra for one last glance before following Levi.

They drove back to the hotel, and the ride was quiet, both too busy thinking about what happened to even form words.

Upon their arrival, they agreed to return to their respective suites, both feeling overwhelmed and tired, both craving a much-needed break.

Levi sat on the couch in the living space of his suite, staring blankly into the air. His head fell back, his elbow covering his eyes, and he slowly drifted into sleep. He didn't realize that he napped the rest of the day away, until he woke up again, and the sky was already getting darker. He felt like crap, to say the least, his body sore from the position it was in, and he thought perhaps taking a shower would help him relax and feel refreshed.

When he was done with his shower, he walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, and thought he heard his phone buzzing on the coffee table, so he went to check. Once the screen of his cell lit up, he found a text from Mikasa, and wasted no time to read it:  _I'm having dinner at the restaurant. Care to join?_

He didn't really have plans for the night besides staying in his suite and feeling sorry for himself.  _Maybe this wasn't so bad_.

He went and got dressed, and once his hair was dry enough, he left his suite.

He found Mikasa sitting at a table when he arrived to the restaurant, and so he headed to her.

She saw him approaching and placed down the menu, waited for him to take a seat before she spoke, "Hey."

"Good evening." He mumbled.

Mikasa breathed out softly, "How are you?"

"I'm fine…" he claimed, "Hungry…" he hadn't eaten anything at all today, nor did he have the appetite earlier.

"Good, so you better eat well tonight." She said in a playful tone, trying to lighten up the air around them.

He nodded simply and held the menu in his hand to browse through it.

"Did you… call her?" Mikasa bit the inside of her cheek, unsure of whether she should ask or not.

Levi lifted his eyes very briefly to look at her, "No…"

"Oh…" Mikasa frowned, "So… you don't know if she woke up yet or anything?"

"The doctor said she needed to rest." Levi said, "I'm not sure my voice will help her with that."

Mikasa let out a sigh, "You should still check on her."

"Did you invite me to have dinner with you so you'd remind me of my responsibilities?" He said in a bitter voice, and the conversation died then. They remained quiet for a couple minutes until they decided to order some food, and then waited.

Mikasa watched him for a bit, noticed how he kept looking out the window, so absentminded, and realized he probably had too much going on in his head already, that she should try to help him feel better rather than add pressure to him.

"How long are you staying here?" she asked, changing the subject entirely.

He looked at her now, and answered, "Probably the end of the month… mostly before Christmas, though."

"Me too…" she smiled, "I would spend Christmas here, but my friend wouldn't let me hear the end of it."

Now that he thought about it, they hadn't known each other for so long, yet somehow he felt like he'd known her forever, didn't think it strange to sit down and have a meal with her—his meals started to feel bland without her company, even. Today's events didn't change that fact, and what he felt with her was still as genuine as it was that night they shared a dance together.

"I…" he started, but the moment their eyes met, the waiter interrupted them upon arriving with their food, and so they waited for him to leave first.

"What is it?" she asked, noting how he remained quiet once they were alone again.

He looked at her again, lips parting ever so slightly, "I don't… want to marry Petra." He confessed, and Mikasa's eyes widened.

"What happened to her today was my fault, because I couldn't be a good fiancé to her." Levi's gaze fell away from Mikasa's as he continued, "I should've gone with her earlier, like a good fiancé would. I should've apologized to her. I should've told her I loved her… but I feel none of those things. I didn't want to go with her, didn't want to apologize to her…" he released a heavy sigh before adding his next words, "I don't even love her."

Mikasa's lips parted slightly as she listened to him, and she put her fork down, resting her hands on the table, "I see." She sighed, "What are you going to do?"

"Make things right." He said, "I'll… end the engagement, and our relationship. It's for the best."

"Whose best?" Mikasa asked, "Are you sure of what you're saying, even?" she leaned back against her chair and crossed her arms in front of her. "Do you feel shaken up because of me? Is that it?"

Levi blinked at her words, and stuttered as he tried to speak, "I—that's not. No."

"So you  _don't_  want to break up with her because of me?" she asked, perhaps a bit too straightforwardly than he expected her to, and his breath stuck in his throat. "Are you blushing?" she teased.

Levi huffed, "It's not because of you… I'm doing this for myself."

"That's good then." Mikasa smiled faintly, "I wouldn't want to get in the way."

Levi's brow arched slightly as he eyed her, "You're hard to read."

"Oh?" Mikasa smirked, "How so?"

"Why did you…" Levi started, but couldn't exactly bring himself to finish.

"Why did I what?" Mikasa asked, "Kiss you?" she finished for him, and saw his blush darken. "I felt like it. I thought you enjoyed it. I mean, if you're not forgetting, you kissed me back."

"And then you led me on to your suite and kicked me out shortly after." He pressed firmly.

"Would you rather we'd gone all the way, then?" Mikasa furrowed a brow at him, "You  _have_ a fiancée." She shrugged.

Levi clicked his tongue in frustration, "I also had a fiancée when you kissed me, you know."

"It seems I'm the only one who even cares about her, doesn't it?" Mikasa crossed her legs and smirked, "My suite is still open if you like. In the end I'm not the one who's engaged anymore."

"Inviting me again so you'd kick me out  _again_?" Levi sighed and decided to start eating.

"Why don't you come and find out?" she suggested, biting her bottom lip lightly.

Levi gulped, and looked up at her, considering the offer for a second there then sighing, "I'm… afraid I'm tired tonight… with all that happened…"

"Of course." She smiled reassuringly, and decided she didn't want to keep her food waiting anymore.

They had their dinner and chatted some more, and after that they took the elevator together to go back to their suites.

Mikasa stood at her door, tugging out her key to open it while Levi watched her silently, and she turned to him soon, meeting his eyes. "Get some rest tonight. You look like shit." She said teasingly, merely trying to mock him, but it put a faint smile on his face nevertheless.

"With that look on your face, you seem like you haven't taken a shit in a very long time." He teased back.

"Is that so? Are you like a shit expert or something?" Mikasa reached a hand to his cheek, tracing his face with her finger gently as she leaned in.

Levi stilled, his breath stuck in his throat as he stared into her eyes, only to close his shortly after her lips laid a kiss onto his.

Mikasa backed away soon, let her forehead rest against his for a bit as she looked into his eyes. "Goodnight, Levi." She murmured, stepping away from him slowly.

He stood still, watching her, wondering if she wanted him to change his mind, wondering if he should, but he sucked in a breath, then released it heavily, "Goodnight, Mikasa." He said, and turned away to head back to his suite, and she watched him the whole time before going inside and closing the door behind her.

* * *

When the morning came, Levi woke up in his bed alone for the first time in a while. It was strange but not unwanted, and he took his time to stretch before getting up. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he'd been able to sleep so well the past few days. Perhaps all he had to do was change the environment around him and go somewhere new, and all bad things aside, this wasn't shaping up to be a terrible vacation.

Still, yesterday's events haunted him along with many other things, and so the first thing he did after having his breakfast, was get dressed and leave to the hospital. Petra's car wasn't damaged, and so it was brought back to the hotel yesterday. Levi didn't drive in a long time, and when he did it wasn't long distance.

His mind would always go back to that one blurry memory from the accident, of the road before him, his sweaty hands on the wheel, and the sound of the truck's loud horn blowing, before everything faded to black.

He'd seen that in his dreams over and over again, and perhaps each time he remembered something new or different, but it was still a big, foggy mess in his brain.

He arrived to the hospital before he knew it, and went up to Petra's room once checking with reception again. He knocked on the door before opening it, and saw a nurse standing beside the bed, and Petra sitting up with a tray of food in front of her.

The nurse turned around to look at him, "Are you one of her relatives? Please come in."

"I… it's fine if you're busy. I can wait." He stuttered.

"No, it's alright. I was leaving anyways." The nurse smiled, looked back at Petra briefly and said, "Enjoy your breakfast." Before she walked away and left the room.

Levi stood there quietly, watching Petra. Their eyes met for a long, silent moment, and there was nothing in Petra's gaze but pain and anger.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, approaching her slowly.

"Get out of here." She snapped, "I don't want to see your face."

"Petra…" he sighed, "I'm not here to argue."

"Well then you shouldn't be here in the first place." She pressed, her gaze piercing through him.

Levi paused, standing in place, "I'm sorry about what happened."

"About what exactly?" Petra snickered, "About the accident, or about running after another woman?"

He sighed, looking down at the floor, for it was much less intimidating than Petra's eyes.

"You seem to be doing just fine." He breathed, "Clearly I'm just an inconvenience right now. I'll leave you be."

"Yeah… You do that that…" she nodded at him, a desperate smile forming across her face as she held up her hand and removed the ring from her finger, "Take your stupid ring with you too while you're at it." She said, and tossed the material at him.

He didn't catch it, simply watched it fall to the floor before he bent down to pick it up. He observed the object quietly and then stood up. He neither had something to say to her, nor she to him, and with that he turned away and left.

Going back to the hotel was his initial plan, though he changed his mind halfway through and decided to go elsewhere, not anywhere particular. Perhaps simply driving around, getting used to being behind the wheel again, would benefit him a little bit.

* * *

Mikasa sat in front of the TV in living room, watching a movie before she'd go to bed. Her day wasn't so productive, and she didn't see Levi at all either. She wondered what he might be doing, but figured he could probably use some alone-time, much like herself.

Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, and Mikasa glanced down at it before reaching for it, lighting up the screen to see a text from Levi, asking her if she were in her suite.

Mikasa tapped away a few words and replied:  _Yes, and you?_

She waited for a few seconds before receiving a new text from him, and her brows arched when she read it:  _Right outside your door._

Her eyes glanced over to the closed door of her suite, and with slight hesitance, she got up and walked to it. Upon opening it, she found him standing right in front of her, and her eyes widened.

"Hey…" she greeted.

"I hope I didn't wake you up or something." Levi said.

She shook her head, "No. I was watching a movie." She gestured back at the TV in the living room.

"I see." He nodded.

Mikasa was quiet for a moment, and then decided to ask curiously, "What are you doing here?"

Levi's lips pressed together, unsure of whether he should say what he had to say, but decided fuck it. "Is your offer still up?" he saw her blink, and so he added, "Can I go inside?"

"Oh." Although it was very subtle, there was a smile tugging at Mikasa's lips out of excitement, and she gave him a nod as she stepped aside, allowing him in.

Their eyes fell onto the couch, the couch that still displayed very vivid memories of the events that took place on it, but neither dared comment on it.

Mikasa invited Levi to sit while she turned off the TV and went to grab a bottle of wine. She returned quickly and placed the bottle down with two glasses.

"Would you like to drink?" she asked, already pouring herself a glass.

"Maybe not…" he said, watching her carefully, and added with a hint of sarcasm, "One of us has to be sober to get you in bed."

Mikasa's eyes narrowed at him as she sipped from her glass.  _Maybe inviting him to her suite was a mistake._

"Maybe you shouldn't drink either…" he reached his hand out and held the glass from her hand, taking it away and putting it on the table, "We can have a sober conversation."

She gulped, and let out a breath, "Fine…" she brushed her hair behind her ear and fixed her seating position, turning slightly to face him, "Did you go to see Petra today?"

Levi let out the heaviest of sighs yet, "I did… and she gave me this." He tugged out the ring from his pocket and held it up to her.

"Oh." Mikasa observed the item and frowned, "That's…"

"It's fine." He shrugged, and put it back in his pocket. "I did say I would end things with her. I guess this just makes it a tad easier."

Mikasa furrowed her brows at him, then heaved a soft breath, "So maybe let's talk about something else instead." She suggested, "Tell me about your family…"

"My… family?" Levi arched his brow—this wasn't exactly what he expected to happen when deciding he wanted to visit her suite, not that he had any clue what to expect, really.

She nodded, "I don't really know much about you… We can get to know each other."

"If you insist…" Levi rested his arm on the back of the sofa, took a moment to think about her question, and then proceeded, "I don't have much to say about my family… I don't even know how long it's been since I last saw them. I'm an only child… My parents passed away—or at least my mother did. I don't know about my father."

"I see…" she nodded, "You didn't grow up with him?"

"Not really…" he shook his head, "Maybe he was there at an earlier stage of my childhood. Not that I would remember it. I don't remember a lot of things, not even what I did last Christmas…"

"I've spent it with my fiancé—ex-fiancé." She interrupted him to say, her gaze softening and her tone sweetening distinctly at the warm memory, "He… He proposed to me that night. It was the best Christmas night I've ever had in my whole life."

A faint frown managed to his face, the smile he'd longed to see on her was finally there, but it was neither for him nor for someone who deserved her. "Do you… have any pictures with him?" he asked curiously.

She looked up at him and shook her head, "No. I got rid of them all… after what happened." She explained, "Even my friends wouldn't have let me keep any if I wanted to."

Perhaps getting rid of the pictures made things slightly easier, but she couldn't get rid of the feelings, the memories and the pain, and everything he brought upon her life.

"Too bad." He sighed, "I wanted to see his face. Seems like he could surely use a few hard punches across the face."

"Is that so?" her brows arched in disbelief.

He nodded, and said with a smirk, "You're not the only one who can punch hard."

"I'd like to find out for myself." She murmured, and scooted closer to him, "You don't look  _that_ strong… but I guess never judge a book by its cover."

Levi furrowed his brow at her, unsure of whether he should take that as a compliment or an insult, "What do I look like, then?"

"You're awfully short…" she started, tracing his jaw with the tip of her finger, "You've got a bit of a potty mouth, too… and you're very grumpy."

So far she wasn't wrong, and he remained quiet as he listened to her, his gaze lingering on her lips for a moment, then fixing on her eyes again.

"You're also incredibly naïve… too naïve for your own good." She mumbled, brushing her thumb over his lips.

Levi wasn't sure 'naïve' was the word he'd use to describe himself. He liked to think he was a bit shrewder than that, but his thought process was interrupted when seeing her lean closer.

"Do you even know how to  _treat_  a woman?" she grazed his nose with hers, and his breath stuck in his throat when feeling her lips press to his, his eyes shutting to exchange that kiss with her.

Her lips were soft and sweet against his, and he shivered when feeling her bite on his bottom lip ever so lightly. The entirety of his body tensed up seconds later upon sensing her weight shift onto his lap, her legs spreading on each side as she cupped his face with her tender hands.

She sucked in his breaths, pressed her hips to his, and could feel him throb underneath her, could feel his hands shivering when they rested on her hips, and so she broke away from the kiss to look into his eyes, her finger pressing against his lips, "Are you nervous?"

His heart pumped hard against his chest as he looked into her eyes, and though he couldn't form a verbal reply, his silence was enough of an answer to her. He lost the words before they even made it to his mouth, and he found himself staring at her wordlessly, lost on what to do, on what  _not_  to do.

"Good…" she murmured softly, kissing the side of his cheek and trailing down. Her hand caressed him up and down slowly, feeling his chest muscles over his sweater, and sensing him shiver under her touch in the process, though his own hands were cautiously fumbling her sides, and though the act was clumsy, it was still enough to trigger a wave of heat through her body.

She shifted back slowly, releasing a hot breath into his ear as she eyed him down. Her eyes burned with desire, just the way they did that night if not more, and her hands tugged at her shirt, slowly pulling the fabric up to expose her upper half. She threw it off to the side of the sofa once completely removed, and joined her gaze with Levi's again.

His breath hitched at the sight of her on top of him, almost rendering him motionless, and a shiver ran through him upon sensing her hands tug tightly at his own shirt. He made his best to gather enough courage and control to take the fabric off, letting it rest beside Mikasa's shirt as they sat together topless, with matching necklaces hanging about their necks, holding each other's gazes.

Mikasa kissed him briefly, slowly shifted her body off of him and stood up before him. She pulled down her skirt leisurely, temptingly, and let it slide down her legs in a smooth manner before she stepped out of it, and stood tall in front of him half naked.

Her hand reached out to hold his and pull him up on his feet, and she let her arms wrap around his neck, lips stealing a rough kiss from him as she dragged him across the suite with her, all the way to the bedroom.

She pushed him down on the bed as soon as they stood beside it, straddled his hips with much confidence, and leaned down, her black locks falling to her front and tickling the side of his face. She took a hold of both his hands, placed them perfectly on her hips and whispered sin a soft breath to his ear, "Touch me…"

His body shivered weakly at the sound of seductive voice, his blue eyes lost in the dark of hers, and he lifted one of his hands off her hip to touch her face, caress her cheek slowly, then stroke the length of her neck before resting on the back of it, pulling her in for a lusty kiss.

He let his other hand stroke her back experimentally, moving up until stumbling upon the fabric of her bra, and he fumbled with it for a moment before managing to unclasp it. The loosened material fell off her chest easily, the straps slipping down her arms. He let his hand slide down her back once again, holding her firmly before flipping them over, pinning her beneath him.

His mouth traced the length of her neck with soft and open-mouthed kisses, sucking on her collarbone gently, all the while his hands roamed around her body hesitantly, exploring the skin he so desperately wanted to touch, the softness of her stomach, the tenderness of her thighs, and  _god_  was it all so satisfying. Her body burned against his mouth and he could feel it, feel the heat stemming from her flesh as he kissed and sucked, and his pleasure only increased once his lips passed over her chest and a sound came out from her parting lips.

She pulled the undone bra off her and threw it away, exposing herself before his eyes, letting his hand and mouth explore all he needed to, and she pressed a leg against his crotch, could feel him grow under the fabric of his jeans, and a hot breath forced its way out of his mouth.

She moaned softly, his mouth wrapped around her skin, giving her gentle sucks and kisses, her focus growing weak as all she sought was surrender, but she let her fingers work on undoing his belt, fast, for her impatience was intensifying with each passing second.

"I don't…" Levi murmured, struggling to get the words out as he pulled up to look at her, "I didn't… get anything…"

She opened her eyes to look at him, touching concern in his voice, "That's fine…" she spoke reassuringly, "I did."

Levi wanted to ask whether she was prepared for this because she planned it, or because she was a cautious and prepared person, but the question sunk to the back of his mind when he felt her hand slide under his boxers, her fingers wrapping around his throbbing length so perfectly, and he let a faint gasp escape him.

She stroked him tenderly, gently, and bit on his bottom lip, teased his mouth with her tongue, watched his eyes shut tight as he focused on her touch, and she could feel a warm fluid come out of him, soaking the tips of her fingers.

She smiled, and fixed her eyes on him, "You're sensitive…"

Levi narrowed his eyes at her, though he couldn't keep a straight face when her hand was still on him, rendering him weak before her, and his lips parted to let out more sighs of satisfaction.

He didn't plan on finishing early, though, and as tempting as it was to give up and let her pleasure him with however ways she had in mind, he wanted to provide her with just as much satisfaction, and so he gathered some of his strength back and let his fingers tug at the fabric of her underwear, pulling them down in a swift move when she lifted her hips up for him.

With his other hand he grabbed hers, stopping her from touching him any longer, already missing the sensation as he pinned it to her side. He maintained eye-contact with her as he ran his finger up her leg, over her inner thighs, and finally pressing onto her sensitive flesh. Her lips parted slightly, eyes closing as her chest lifted, and her hips rocked against his finger aggressively, seeking more contact.

He admired the vulnerable look on her face, one he never knew she possessed, for she always wore a stoic face and cold eyes, but behind that all, there she was, trembling beneath him just as much as he trembled on top of her.

"The condom… is inside the nightstand…" she managed between heavy breaths, feeling his finger rub over her moistness more, knowing she could only hold the pleasure for so long—and she wanted him, wanted to feel him, wanted to hold him to her, kiss him, move with him, and she could not wait much longer.

With a hot breath, Levi stretched an arm to the drawer, opened it quickly, and grabbed the object as soon as he spotted it. She helped him pull down his jeans and boxers, getting rid of them and letting them fall to the floor, and her eyes observed his naked body hungrily, teeth biting on her lower lip with growing impatience as she watched him wrap the condom around his length.

They held their gazes together for a moment, and Levi sheltered her body with his, stroking the length of her arm with his palm and entangling his fingers with hers. He observed every small detail of her face, the deep color of her eyes, the pink on her cheeks, and the curl of her lips, which he pressed his against forecefully, sharing one more passionate kiss with her.

Her hand tightened around his, though her eyes opened slightly upon feeling a solid material around his finger, as opposed to the skin of his hand. Her lips withdrew from his when defining the object to be his engagement ring.

Levi's eyes tracked her gaze, and his chest ached when seeing that she was staring at his ring—he should have remembered to remove it earlier,  _how foolish of him._  There was a constant and quick throbbing in his chest, telling him Mikasa was going to ask him to leave, just like she did the other night, and he felt her hand let go of his, but his concerns were brushed aside immediately upon seeing her pull the ring out of his finger, dropping it to the floor and linking their fingers together again.

"Shall we continue?" Mikasa murmured reassuringly. He looked into her eyes, and nodded, lips curved into a faint smile.

They joined their lips together once again, savoring the taste of one another. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he pushed his hardness into her, and the two of them let out soft and hot breaths, holding onto each other as they got accustomed to the new feeling of him inside her.

It was strange, for she'd never shared this level of intimacy with anyone for a long, long time. Despite the faint pain she felt, she'd forgotten just how good it this was, just how much she craved it and longed for it after all this time.

After a few moments, Mikasa finally moved her hips slightly, indicating he should probably do the same, reassuring him that she was fine, and so he complied, slowly and gently, pushing in and out of her while his hand slid behind her back to hold her hips up, wanting to get as much out of it as possible.

Their bodies united, synced in movement, and their pleasure grew more by each passing second as uncontrollable sighs and moans filled the air, leading them towards a promised bliss.

The world faded away around them, leaving them alone, in an existence where he was for her and she was for him, where they could express their passion with no concern or second thoughts, no doubts or hesitance, for in this existence it was only the two of them, and everything else was buried away and forgotten.

There was no yesterday or tomorrow. All that mattered was the here and now.

_TBC._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading. I hope you liked the chapter. Let me know your thoughts, I'd love to read them!
> 
> Next chapter will be up next week. ♥


	4. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, here comes another chapter, second to last. There’s lots of angst in this one, so apologies for that. If you find any errors and stuff, I’m sorry about that too. I kind of rushed with editing this one because life is happening.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

 

Mikasa couldn’t remember when she fell asleep, or how. There were merely some scattered flashbacks from last night fogging her eyes, and his faint voice whispering to her ear:

_“You’re beautiful…”_

She remembered crying afterwards, remembered feeling his arms wrap around her so lovingly, and she felt secure, safe, and warm. There was an exchange of a few words, still vague, and that was all her memory could recall.

It felt like a dream.

 _Was it_  a dream?

Soreness put its weight on her motionless body, sleepy eyes fluttering to open at the faint sunrays breaking through the glass of the windows. The absence of the warmth that lulled her to sleep last night was alarming, her senses confusing what was real and what was not between a dying wish of having found comfort after hardships. The scene displaying in front of her as her eyes fully opened erased every doubt of denying last night’s events. A beating heart threatened to surrender to the longing of a lover, but a heart must not confuse right and wrong.

With a hand pressed to the bed, another grabbing the fabric covering her naked figure, her body pulled its weight up, sitting in a mess of a bedroom. Mixed smells of sweat and perfume filled the air, and on the floor lay her clothes from last night—his were missing.

Was she a victim again? Betrayed and played and spat out? How foolish—no, how disgusting would it be falling for the same tricks all over again. A cheater would always be a cheater, and her feelings were the biggest cheater.

Not a hint of a smile could be seen on her lips, only teeth biting the skin and eyes begging to set their tears free. Trembling hands sought for the piece of clothing on the floor, grabbing onto the underwear and throwing it on. The closet opened where her clothes sat, and she tugged out an over-sized sweater, just enough to cover her upper half and some.

A couple of steps separated her from the closed door of the bedroom. Hesitance was her mere obstacle, though it only lasted for so long before her undying strength took over again; its source unknown. Firm hold on the knob, a gulp clearing the soreness of her dry throat, before the door opened soundlessly, making enough room for her eye to steal a peek outside the bedroom, only for a strong smell to cover all the ones she sniffed before. Something was cooking, she realized. The door was pushed open a little bit further, seeking a better sight, and her eyes fell upon his figure setting plates on the dining table.

 _He didn’t leave,_ it seemed. A fact she was supposed to be happy and relieved with, and yet tears began to fall down her face and she stepped back into the bedroom, her back resting against the door.

Why was she feeling so weak? Why did she feel as though she’d been defeated? When did she lose control over her heart and surrender? How was a mere gaze at him enough to make her wish to give up and get rid of all the burdens she had to carry?

Her chest tightened, but those threatening tears had to be held back no matter the cost, and she found it in her heart to bite back those blurry feelings just as hard as they bit her. Her lids closed, soaking her lashes in the caged tears. Her lips parted to suck in the air, releasing it through her nostrils before opening her eyes again. It was a mere, strong wave of ugly feelings, but it passed, like any storm would. She was prepared to walk out that bedroom now, and face what she had to face.

Making a quick turn, her grip back on the knob, she opened the door, less carefully now, more to announce her presence to him.

The click of the door closing had his chest tighten for a split second. Turning, his eyes found their way to hers, and they exchanged silent, questioning gazes.

“Good morning.” The words broke free from her rosy lips in a contained, yet strangely soft voice. A few, confident steps made forward, flashbacks from last night invading her thoughts; the fading sound of sweaty bodies slamming repeatedly against each other, lips joining and parting tirelessly and breathlessly. She thought she could hear the couch before her whisper the sounds, on which it all began.

His silence lasted longer than it should, merely for the words lost their way to his mouth upon her closing figure. Nervous eyes escaped confident ones, and he fought the trembling in his hand to grab the pan firmly, serving the food into a plate. “Good morning.” At last, a reply came. “Did the smell wake you up? Because I made sure to be as quiet as possible…”

“I woke up because I felt cold…” teasing voice dragged the silence back, forcing his eyes to meet hers again. “I need to take a shower. I feel sticky.”

“Won’t you come eat first?” the words rushed out his mouth before she’d turn away. “I just finished cooking, so it’s still hot… It wouldn’t taste as good if it’s cold…” he justified, and he wished his subtleness didn’t shake too much, but his eyes probably revealed his uneasiness to her. “You know, it’s winter… and food tends to get cold really quickly… even though the place is warm, but—”

“You cooked this for me?” the question silenced him, and her eyes began to carefully scan the plates before her. It wasn’t amateur cooking; it almost resembled staring at a lovely scene of nature, the way the food was decorated. Eating this would be such a monstrous crime.

“It’s a… hobby; cooking.” Levi studied her features more carefully than she studied his cooking, and his eye twitched when noting the cocky smirk on her face. “You think it’s strange… that I love cooking?”

“You said it’s a hobby…” Her brows furrowed doubtingly as she allowed herself a seat, staring into his eyes steadily, “This looks professional to me.” Her words were reassuring, and the mesmerizing smile she wore next triggered his heart to pump fast.

“It is, actually.” Flattering his own cooking, he put on a proud smirk, smoothly taking a seat opposite from her. “I considered quitting my job to start my own restaurant. After I regained consciousness, cooking and cleaning were all I got to do, and I found out how passionate I was about it…”

“I’d visit your restaurant.” Mikasa held the fork in a hand, the knife in the other, and took a bite, analyzing the rush of flavors that invaded her mouth. “I love it. Thank you.” Her words fell into a simple, genuine voice, though the corners of her mouth began to curl down as she swallowed. Her eyes shifted to a motionless state, aiming an endless, lost gaze at the plate.

 _Was the taste not okay?_  Levi’s eyes wouldn’t alter anywhere off of her, and he worried he might have gotten some ingredients mixed, despite his confidence of having made the breakfast carefully for her specifically. “Aren’t you going to finish it?”

His voice shook her senses back into reality, a reality she was no longer sure how she felt about. It was a lovely breakfast, and a lovely moment, but a lovely present to her signified an ugly future. Nothing good lasted forever, but everything bad haunted her for eternity.

A nod was the only form of response she gave him as she proceeded to take another bite. It tasted different this time; so different. All she picked up was a flavor of regret and guilt, and a touch of nostalgia hidden in between the two. Her throat was threatening her to throw something out, and she put the fork on the table, sucking in some air through her mouth, and she knew that he was watching her all along with an unasked question in his eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just…” she sneakily pinched her hand not to say anything, not to ruin the mood and enjoy the breakfast he made for her without bringing up—“My fiancé used to make breakfast for me… and…” She threw a silent curse at her tongue’s inappropriate slip.

“Your  _ex-_ fiancé…” he corrected, and the bitterness tricked his awareness to slip into his tone in a rush. Silenced by his own rashness, Levi assured a calmer tone as he added, “It doesn’t matter what he used to do for you. He’s not here anymore.”

She knew that. All the significance of those colorful times she’d spent with him vanished the day her world turned black and white, when the movie ended and so did his acting. A survivor was what became of her, and time was her only healer, but closing all the wounds wasn’t contingent on that. Some became scars, and some needed their pain to be silenced and forgotten.

“Did you call to check on Petra?” the question didn’t pop in an endeavor to change the subject, or evade the many questions she saw in his eyes. The memories from last night still played freshly in her head with every small detail, just like the presence of someone else in his life never stopped dancing along them.

A pressured sigh released from his mouth as he drew a frustrated reply, “I didn’t.”

Brows furrowed at his insouciant words, and she showed no hesitance to admonish the man, “You should.”

Of course he should. That fact of being tied to another person never ceased to sting him with every kiss he shared with Mikasa, every bit of skin his hand touched, and every word he whispered to her. His guilt had fallen along with the ring as Mikasa slipped it out of his finger, though the burden was constantly present. And despite all of that, it wasn’t enough to demolish his desires for Mikasa, for the concept of wrong and right became but a mere, meaningless notion. “I don’t know how to deal with this…” he confessed, and shame painted every feature of his face.

Mikasa flinched at the admission. “You mean you don’t know how to deal with the fact that we had sex?” the words swung furiously out of her mouth.

“Did we?” he wasn’t sure. Would he call it  _that_? The casual ring the word ‘sex’ held didn’t sit right with him, neither did the way she voiced it. Last night he undressed himself of every piece of clothing, and passion was all he wore, and he fused it into every kiss, every touch. It was quite offensive to refer to that experience as mere ‘sex’.

“If that’s how you’re going to deal with it, maybe you’re better off leaving.” Harsh words landed a ghostly threat from her. Sometimes it didn’t matter if gluing the broken pieces back together would fix the vase, for it’d always look broken—damaged, and putting flowers in it again would simply suck out all the beauty from them.

The sudden realization of how wrong he voiced his thoughts in that question slapped him, and he feared an attempt to explain would go even worse. His thoughts were always at the edge of his tongue, but expressing his feelings was always a challenge to him, and he wasn’t quite certain why he was accepting it now, it felt almost instinctive. Her presence always pulled him out of his sealed shell, sent an exceptional urge within him to welcome different feelings, do new things. But that urge needed to be restrained now, for he couldn’t control it well, it seemed.

Her eyes grew intolerant of his sight, and so with a swift move of her hand she placed the fork on the plate, and picked it up. Taking a seat on the couch, she was once again haunted by the flashbacks from last night. She saw her shirt and skirt neatly folded on the sofa beside her, and the ghostly feeling of his touch tickled her body still. She sought a distraction, an escape, and her hand grabbed the remote quickly to turn the TV on.

Her silence was afflictive, but so was her voice, and in either situation;  _he didn’t know how to deal with it._  He’d seek redemption in her absence, but in her presence he’d become the biggest sinner. Those angry gazes she shot at him were the only reason his hand took out his phone. If a call could smother her displeasure with him, he’d make that call. He turned his phone back on, which he’d turned off last night, and then dialed Petra’s number, waited for her phone to ring, but it didn’t. He guessed she possibly turned it off. Great.

“She’s not answering…” Levi said, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “I might have to go see her in the hospital.”

Mikasa increased the volume of the TV, indirectly hinting at him to stop talking as news reports about last night’s snow storm filled the air.

A quiet sigh escaped through his thin lips, not appreciating being ignored. “I’m… I’ll see you later…”

A nonchalant shrug was all she gave him in response. She didn’t even grant him a chance for a goodbye kiss, or even a mere exchange of gazes. If she bore any feeling for Petra, it was pity, and worrying about her was Levi’s burden.

His legs refused to move under the order of his wish to hear a word from her, or even see her sneak a look at him, or just a desperate wave of goodbye. But there was nothing to receive, and so he turned and leisurely walked to that door.

He arrived to the ground floor in a matter of minutes, and he stepped out of the elevator as the doors opened.

The receptionist stood at the front desk, greeting some of the guests, when her eyes spotted Levi walk by. “Oh, sir!” she called out for him.

He paused at her sudden call, changing his destination to the front desk, “Yes?”

The receptionist welcomed him with a wide smile, “Good morning, sir. I hope you had a good night. Um, we were looking for you last night, but you weren’t at your suite and we couldn’t reach your phone, so we didn’t inform you sooner. We apologize about that.”

“Inform me… about what?” his brow raised at the confusing statement.

“Ms. Ral called us last night and asked for one of our employees to bring her some files from the suite.” She explained, “We heard that she was in the hospital. We’re glad that she’s okay.”

“She asked for some files?” Levi wasn’t quite sure why she’d do that, unless she... “Is she back?”

“Um…” The receptionist cocked her eyebrow up. She thought they shared a single suite. Wouldn’t he know if she were back? Regardless, her job obligated her to mind her own business. “No… I believe she was headed somewhere else.”

“Did she say where?” His heartbeats quickened at the thought of her driving in last night’s weather. The media kept warning about it the entire day, and Levi knew Petra was smart enough not to do such a foolish thing,  _or was she?_

“Oh, I have no idea, sir. But I can call my friend who delivered the files to her if you want to ask him.” She said apologetically.

“That would be good.” Levi’s hand tapped stressfully at the front desk.

The blame fell partially on him to have let Petra leave the gym alone, and guilt found its way to punish him for not being by her side.  Anxious, Levi’s gaze turned to the front door, and his eyes tricked him into thinking the car that just stopped outside was Petra’s. He observed the vehicle carefully, only to spot the woman step out of it.  _He wasn’t hallucinating_.

He made a quick turn to inform the receptionist, “Or, actually, never mind. She’s here. Thanks.”

“Alright, have a good day, sir.” She offered another smile at him and nodded.

When he turned again, he saw her walk past him like his presence didn’t reflect in her world, and with fast steps he walked after her. “Petra, where the hell have you been?”

She gave no answer, nor did she look at him. His voice was muted in her ears, and his existence was that of a ghost. She entered the elevator, and he followed, yet still she didn’t bat an eye at that.

“You look like shit. Did you even sleep?” stepping on his dignity, he asked out of concern, but talking to her was equal to talking to a soulless wall.

When the elevator doors opened, she wordlessly hurried to her suite, ignoring the company he kept her as he walked beside her. The moment she stepped into the suite, her handbag dropped to the couch, as well as her jacket. Her next destination was the bedroom, and she sat on the bed, bending down to take off her shoes.

Slowly, his worry was dying, as well as his patience, and he couldn’t handle standing there like an invisible person. “Did you know how dangerous it was to go outside last night? You could’ve fucking died.” Ire was present in his tone.

“Oh, for the love of god, could you stop talking? I’m having a really bad headache, and no, I didn’t sleep enough, which is why I’m here now, to sleep, if you could stop yelling.” She finally spoke, though not in the friendliest of tones, understandably so.

A relieved, yet annoyed sigh left his mouth. That livid tone of hers erased all of his concerns, despite her sallow figure. “Okay…” with a perfunctory nod, he turned to leave the room.

“Is that it? You’re just going to leave like that?” the question abruptly slipped from her, insecurity and fragility tainting every word.

He faced her again with a raised brow, “You said you wanted to sleep…”

“No…” her head shook at his misinterpretation, “I mean…” holding back tears demanded courage, but failure was destined to happen, and her eyes turned painfully rosy as she asked, “I mean… are you going to leave me… so you can be with  _her_?”

Surprise blew his eyes open, “Where did you even get that from?”

“I thought what happened at the gym was enough proof, but then back at the hospital… you said we were never right for each other.” her answer was simple, and she saw his eyes widen at that, “You didn’t even think to stay by my side.”

Guilty as charged, Levi drowned in silence, reckoning his cold-heartedness as he watched her leave the gym while he stayed behind, the words that left his mouth as he saw her lay in the hospital bed. He sighed, “Get some rest. We’ll talk later.”

“I want to talk now…” insistence burned her eyes, as awfully as his words burned her. Sleep and rest were out of her reach before she put out that fire.

“Petra…” as her name went out in a sigh; wordlessness pulled him back into silence. That conversation played much better in his head at the time, supported by Mikasa’s presence. Now uncertainty drained his thoughts.

“I hoped that…” her hand swiftly wiped the tears before they’d fall. “I hoped that you’d at least try… But I suppose I’m not worth a damn thing to you, am I?”

“It’s not that…” he claimed.

“It’s not?” a pitiful smirk rested on her pale face, “You didn’t even flinch when I took off that stupid ring and gave it back to you.”

“It’s not stupid…” his words came out defensively, “It was important when I gave it to you, and it still is now.”

A miserable chuckle forced its way out, “Really? You’re not even  _wearing_  the ring I gave you…”

Her words stung his heart, and his fingers pressed together in a desperate attempt to sense the absence of the material. A forced flashback from last night refreshed his memory, when the ring was all that stood between him and Mikasa from having that night for them alone, without guilt being their third companion.  _He never wore his ring again afterwards._

“If you don’t love me… what makes that ring more than just a piece of rounded metal?” her teeth sunk into her lip. Pain was suffocating her, and the way his eyes escaped hers disgusted her. “You forgot everything… for someone you met yesterday. I don’t even recognize you anymore. Maybe I never even knew you…”

“I didn’t forget…” he assured, and his guilty eyes met her innocent ones again, “I’m still grateful to you. You gave me so much, without asking for anything in return…”

“And that ring was what, your ‘Thank you’? Because I don’t want it if that’s the case…” fury and rage fused into her voice as she sobbed.

He still remembered vividly, how his eyes followed the ring as she threw it his way, and his ‘thank you’ undisguised to reveal its small size; barely enough to fill that ring wholly, or to be the reason they were meant to be. He was so truthful when he got on his knee before her and asked her to marry him, but as he got on his knee again to pick that ring, he realized how big of a liar he was.

At the time he couldn’t keep the conversation going, for she didn’t let him, but now she seemed ready to listen to him, and so he looked at her, intent to speak with honesty. “Petra… you’re a wonderful woman. I just don’t think I’m the man that’ll make you feel that way. And it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong. You didn’t. I’m the one who made the mistake… and it took me a while to realize it…”

“Everything is so different. That’s not what the Levi who proposed to me would say at all.” Tears forcefully drew their way out, trailing her pink cheeks. “You’re doing all of this… because of her? Were you really the kind of guy that surrendered to his whims so easily? I’m pretty sure what you feel for her isn’t love.”

“It’s not for her…” that was a claim that he couldn’t prove, not even to himself, “It’s for us… for you, and for me.”

“Please don’t do this, Levi.” Her head shook, denial scratching her heart mercilessly, “Don’t surrender to her. She’s not worth it. She’s not worth giving up on us like this. I don’t know what it is that she gave you and I didn’t, because I’m trying so hard. I really am, and I feel like everything goes unappreciated… but in the end of the day I have you, and that’s all that matters.”

“There are other things that matter… such as being happy with each other, and I’m not.” His confession rid his chest from carrying the burden of lies, but only added up to hers.

“So then you’re happy with her?” a desperate question hung itself, awaiting the answer that would release the chains around her neck.

“…” was he? “I’m… I don’t know…”

Her head tilted to the side, eyes full of sorrow, “If you don’t even know how you feel about her, how do you know that our relationship is the problem?”

“I don’t, okay?” a mere admission settled, “I don’t know how I feel about her, and I don’t know how I feel about our relationship or getting married… I don’t know how I feel about anything. It’s not just about her or about you… It’s mostly about me…” his voice toned down, and his eyes danced with dubiousness, “It’s my life too, you know.”

“It’s  _our_  life…” she corrected him, “and Mikasa never belonged in it. That’s all you should know.” Her tears soaked her mouth, with every word she spoke, “I wanted this month to be for the two of us. I know it’s not easy for you to rearrange your life after that accident, and this is why I’m here for you, Levi. This is why I was always there for you… And even when I’m not, it’s still for you.” How much farther did her dignity need to sink before she’d stop begging him? But her love for him was incomparable. At the time being, her heart could only realize one truth; she couldn’t let go of him. “If you think that… things between us have gotten to a point where we can’t go beyond, you’re wrong. I’m ready to forgive you… and forget… I love you this much, Levi…”

A mere shrug was all he gave in response to those heart-spoken words, eyes lost in an endless stream of fragments of his wants and desires, what he truly wanted his life to be, what he truly wanted hers to be. Their worlds were never the same. “Perhaps you’re ready to forgive me… But I’m not ready to forgive myself. I don’t want to hurt you more than this…”

“You can’t hurt me more than this…” she assured him with confident gazes and the fakest of smiles.

He couldn’t grasp her selfless willingness to forgive his sins, and bear the pain just for his sake. He doubted his worthiness of the sacrifice she was making just for him. He was never meant to be with Petra, he’d realized that at the hospital, was so confident of it. He couldn’t be wrong about that, could he? Could the repulsion he felt towards her merely be a fake feeling that fogged his heart? For he believed he didn’t belong with her. What he felt for Mikasa was real in her presence, and gone in her absence, but so were his feelings for Petra. There was a big, missing piece that he couldn’t find to fill the blank space that held answers to all of his questions, and without that piece he couldn’t tell what was real and what was not. The puzzle remained unsolved, and his sanity shook a little bit more every time.

“I know you’re lost…” Petra’s cold hands rested on his face, dragging him back into the only reality that existed. A broken smile covered her lips as she stood before him, “I can see it in your eyes. And it’s okay… You just need a break from thinking. Can we please get back to how we were?” her thumb stroked his cheek, wiping a tear that never fell.

Those eyes of hers were too pure, unlike Mikasa’s, for hers reflected hatred, and occasionally they’d hold a hint of agony, and a thousand mysteries, which drew him into her out of curiosity. But Petra’s eyes planted a single feeling in his heart; guilt. His aching heart kept pumping inside his chest as he slowly placed a hand on hers to pull it away from his face. Drinking the silence of the moment, his eyes stared into hers one more time, and he understood she wasn’t ready yet. She wasn’t ready to accept the truth.

“I can try… That’s all I can promise you…” One more lie—what harm could one more lie do?

“That’s enough…” more than enough, to her. Her smile was bright again as she buried her face to his chest. Longing arms wrapped around his body, in an attempt to claim back something that was never hers.

He didn’t deny her that hug and his arms wrapped around her. His lips pressed a fake kiss to her head, to erase the last bits of doubt in her heart. “You need to rest now.” He withdrew from the hug to say.

“Okay…” she nodded. “Will you stay with me?”

Her need for him by her side was understandable, and breaking his promise not long before announcing it wasn’t an option. A simple nod was what he gave her, and he lay beside her on the bed.

Before the silence and empty gazes they exchanged could become another burden, he shook them off with a question, “Where did you go last night?”

“The boss called…” she answered, “He needed me to bring him some files urgently and… I didn’t want to tell him I was in the hospital. The doctor said I was fine and good to leave anyway, so… I called the hotel and asked for the files.”

“What about the storm? You could’ve gotten stuck driving in that weather…” He said worriedly.

“I took a break halfway and stayed at a motel. I took off again in the morning once the roads were clear again.” She clarified, and saw reassurance settle in his eyes. She decided it was her turn to ask questions, “What about you? The guy who brought the files said that they didn’t find you in the suite or the hotel… Did you go somewhere?”

He felt a sudden tightness in his chest, and he feared his silence would expose him. The image of Mikasa’s naked figure lying beneath him teased his mind, and he had to figure out an excuse to cover up for last night’s actual events. “Not really… I…” his shoulders shrugged, and his tone was as contained as he could keep it, “I went to a bar and… I got a little wasted… It wasn’t far from here, so I came back late at night and went to bed…”

“You went to a bar?” Petra’s brows rose doubtingly at his statement, and his heartbeats quickened. The possibility of her knowing the truth seemed even more likely. Someone from the staff could have seen him head to Mikasa’s suite, and told Petra about it. “I thought we agreed that you’d stay away from bars until you’ve fully recovered.”

Tension left his body as soon as he heard those words, and he sighed, “I’m sorry… I wasn’t exactly at the top of my game last night.”

“I’ll excuse you this once…” she snuggled up against him.

Sharing physical contact with her again sent a wave of discomfort through him, one that he should have felt when being with Mikasa instead, but he didn’t. Seeking to break away from her touch, he made up an excuse, “I think I forgot my cell phone down at the reception when I was asking about you… I’ll go get it and then come back…” he didn’t waste a second to get out of bed and stand up, “Do you need anything?”

Her head shook at him slightly, “I’ll be fine. All I need is sleep.”

With a nod, he proceeded to walk away, and her eyes followed his steps with a smile, which soon turned into a frown when her eyes noticed the rectangular shape tracing his pocket; his phone. But she wordlessly closed her eyes and pretended not to see it, pretended to believe another one of his many lies, for that was easier than asking why.

The air was no longer suffocating as he stepped out of their suite. His contradicting feelings of guilt and repulsion gave him an almost headache. Despite having no particular destination in his mind, his legs innately walked him across the corridor, and had him stand in front of Mikasa’s suite. There wasn’t even a need for him to knock, for she opened the door on her own. She was dressed to go out, apparently; wearing a coat, and her purse around her arm.

Seeing him stand at her door had her freeze in place, exchanging silent gazes with him. “Didn’t you say you were going to see her?” she snapped, her voice threatening.

“I…” his eyes evaded hers, “She’s back… There’s no need for me to go…”

“She’s back?” A huff left her mouth, “Well, then why didn’t you stay with her?”

His brows furrowed at her questioningly, “Do you want me to?”

“Does it matter what I want?” her shoulders rose in half a shrug, nonchalance written in her eyes.

“Yes, because I’m not  _sure_  what you want.” He mumbled, confusion shaping all of his words, “One moment you invite me to spend the night with you, and the next you remind me that I shouldn’t.”

A smirk formed across her face as her head shook, “I’m not the one who doesn’t know what she wants, Levi. It’s you. I’m just indifferent about what you want, whether you want to stay with her, or not. It doesn’t matter to me, because I’m not the one getting hurt.”

“Indifferent, you say?” he arched a brow doubtingly, “So if I told you that… last night never happened, and that it was a mistake… that we shouldn’t have ‘had sex’ if that’s what you want to call it, and we should stop seeing each other… would you be indifferent about it?”

A bitter smile tugged at her lips, “It seems to me you know  _exactly_  how to deal with it.” Her hand gripped the door knob forcefully to close it, and she belligerently pushed Levi out of her way to walk off.

Disappointment still hit him while watching her leave, despite having no plan to assure the conversation wouldn’t go wrong. With or without a plan, he doubted he could find his words with her; so clueless and clumsy, that was how she made him feel. His hopes for last night to help his eyes open to the truth of his feelings and untie the jumbled strings of thoughts in his head vanished away, for he was left just as confused as he was if not more.

His only resolution was going back to the suite, and doing the one thing he was good at most; lies.

Mikasa never crossed his path again that day, or the day after. Seeking rest, Petra took the day off from work, hoping to spend a relaxing time with her fiancé. She desired a romantic lunch with him, and so they went to a restaurant to eat. Her face was full of excitement for finally having time to spend alone with him, and despite his physical presence there with her, his mind was elsewhere. The one time he went out with Mikasa and little Alex replayed before his eyes with every step he walked alongside her. The difference between her touch and Mikasa’s was unrivaled. His interest in talking died, and the random words he kept tossing into the conversation were merely there to avoid questions about where his mind was the whole time.

Sitting around the table in the restaurant resembled a blank, white paper, thirsty for color, and every bite he took from whatever Petra ordered them felt sour. But the vivid memories of the lunch he had once with Mikasa and Alex hung a tiny smile across his face. The embarrassment that little kid caused for them, as well as the cozy memories he could now dwell on.

More memories occupied his mind on their way back to the hotel. The innocent voices of kids running around and having snowball fights, families hanging together, or making snowmen, and the nostalgic warmth of Mikasa’s body, lying beneath his, tickled his insides.

And by the time they got back to the hotel, his heart was pumping at the realization that traced itself on its own; a truth that was written in every gaze he exchanged with her, every touch, and every kiss. Happiness filled his empty heart whenever he was with her, a feeling that became a stranger to him when being with Petra. The answer to Petra’s question was always there. He  _was_ happy with Mikasa, the happiest he ever genuinely was.

Yet another day he survived without even a glimpse of her face, and the day after, Petra got back to work.  He played the role of the good fiancé and offered to walk her to the door, though his secret intention was to hopefully come across Mikasa. They left the suite together and walked across the empty hallway, and Levi’s heart jumped when Mikasa’s door opened, and she came out.

Seeing her again awoke the little kid within him, a childishly pure smile stealing the corners of his lips as his eyes brightened.

Her eyes grazed his with a swift gaze before fixing it on Petra, “Good morning…”

“Good morning…” Petra threw a shallow greet in return.

“How’re you feeling today?” Mikasa joined the two on their way to the elevator, trying to keep a hold on her manners.

“Great!” a wide smile supported Petra’s statement, “I only needed to stay away from work and spend time with Levi to feel better.”

“That’s good to hear.” Bitterness covered her tone, and a touch of tease was present as she added, “Most women don’t recover that quickly, not from emotional hurt at least.”

“Most women aren’t engaged to Levi.” Petra’s arm wrapped a little bit too tight around her fiancé’s, to assure those words, “He knows how to be there for me.”

“I’m sure he does.” A smirk tainted Mikasa’s cheeks as she pushed the elevator button, and they all walked in once the doors opened.

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” Petra shot a stingy claim under her breath, leaving both Levi and Mikasa drown into a silent swirl of questions.

The elevator doors opened again, declaring their parting point. Mikasa excused herself and left in a rush, while Levi accompanied Petra to the entrance of the hotel, waiting for the valet to bring the car for her.

Petra’s arms wrapped around his shoulders as she warned, “Don’t you dare go to a bar again, now that I won’t be around.”

“I won’t. I promise…” he gave her a reassuring nod.

Once the valet arrived, it was time for her to leave. She pressed a quick kiss to Levi’s lips and said, “I’ll see you later. Love you.”

“Yeah… I love you too…” the words came out in an almost silent mutter, and he waved goodbye at her as she got inside the car, standing to watch her drive away to work.

* * *

There was no destination in particular that Mikasa was headed to, so long as she could stay away from Levi and Petra. She walked a decent distance from the hotel before she heard someone call.

“Mom, wait!” the voice was sweet, and mostly recognizable.

She paused and turned around to the source of the voice, only to see a familiar face running towards her, “Alex.” her eyes widened in surprise, and she welcomed the kid into her arms with a warm hug.

“I missed you so much!” His arms held onto her tightly as she picked him up.

“Oh, I missed you too.” Her stares were love-filled, and joy overflowed her voice, “How’re you? How’re your new toys?”

“Fantastic!” he answered excitedly, “All of my friends got jealous because my toys were better than theirs.”

“That’s good.” Mikasa smiled proudly.

Curiosity grew big in the boy’s little heart, and he popped a naïve question, “Where’s dad? Why isn’t he with you today?”

“Oh, he’s…” she faked an excuse, “He’s a little busy…”

“No, he’s not.” Suddenly, a third voice joined the conversation—or rather interrupted it.

“Dad!” Alex wasted no time to jump into Levi’s arms.

A bitter huff escaped Mikasa’s mouth, and her arms crossed against her chest, bearing a cold gaze as she watched Levi steal the lights from her.  _How rude._

“How are you, brat?” Levi asked.

“I’m good. How are you?” Alex held onto him tightly, looking at him in excitement.

“Alex!” there was a voice of a woman calling for the kid, and they soon saw her approaching alongside a man, coming out of Alex’s home.

Levi put the boy down on the ground, and Alex waved at the two to come over.

“Hello…” the woman greeted.

“Hi… You’re Alex’s parents?” Mikasa asked, looking at the couple.

The woman nodded, “Indeed… and I assume you’re the couple that bought Alex those toys the other day?”

Ignoring the fact that she just called them ‘couple’ Mikasa nodded, “Yes… we are… I’m Mikasa. It’s nice to meet you.” She held her hand out to the woman.

“Brittney…” the woman introduced herself as she shook hands with Mikasa, “And this is my husband Stephen…”

“Levi…” Levi introduced himself as well, and shook hands with both of them.

“I wished we had a chance to thank you the other day. You have no idea how happy you made Alex, and that’s all we ever want to see.” The mother said.

“It’s a little embarrassing, though…” the father said, looking down, “We’ve been having some financial problems, and Alex is too young to understand that. He thought that we didn’t want to buy him toys and got mad at us…”

“He’s just a kid, that’s okay…” Mikasa nodded at him, “I’m sorry to hear you’re having problems, though. I hope you’ll get past them.”

“We hope so too…” the man smiled, “We were headed over to some relatives of ours to spend the holiday with.”

“Ah, well, we won’t take much of your time then. Have a safe trip.” Mikasa said, a warm smile on her face.

“Thank you, and you have a nice day. God bless you…” the family said goodbye and then got in the car before driving away.

Mikasa watched them leave with Levi for a bit of time, waving back at Alex who sat in the backseat and watched them through the window.

Once the car was out of their sight, Mikasa started to walk away. Levi turned to look at her and quickly went after her.

“Mikasa, wait…” he called, but she didn’t stop to listen, so he grabbed her hand and pulled her to stop.

“What do you want, Levi?” she snapped at him angrily and pulled her hand out of his hold.

It was so intimidating; the way she looked at him, even more intimidating than it ever was. Maybe not having seen her for a while made him forget, but he wasn’t going to back down. “Can we… talk?”

“No.” she shook her head and turned away to keep walking again, but he held her hand once more and forced her to face him, “Let go…”

“You’re still mad at me…” he said with a sigh.

She arched a brow at him and smirked, “Why would I be mad at you? I’m actually glad that now I have more time for myself, which is the reason why I came here in the first place.”

Levi frowned, “I didn’t mean what I said… and clearly you didn’t, either, otherwise you wouldn’t be avoiding me like this.”

She shook her head, “No, I meant what I said. I don’t care about you or what you want and you should be happy that I don’t. You think that another woman would’ve just been glad to let you fuck her and then simply go back running to your fiancée?”

Levi’s brows arched slightly—he never heard her curse before. She was  _that_  mad at him, huh? “You see, this is what I don’t understand…” he frowned, “You’re the one who told me I shouldn’t leave her at a time like this.”

“And you’re the one who said you didn’t know how to deal with it.” She pressed, bitterness shaping her words.

“Because I was honest…” he claimed, “and I hoped that maybe you’d help me deal with it.”

“I did…” she freed her hand from his and stared into his eyes grimly, “I made it easier for you to choose her.”

“What makes you think I chose her?” his voice was genuine, no sarcasm or tease present.

Mikasa’s eyes blinked a couple of times at those words, lips parting in a wordless response, though she forced it out, “She’s your fiancée…”

“She has been this whole time.” He nodded, “She was my fiancée when we first met in the hotel. She was my fiancée when we went out together and had a great time. She was my fiancée when we danced together at the party… and kissed… and she was still my fiancée  _that_  night… But it was never an excuse.”

Mikasa’s eyes avoided looking into his now, and she pressed her lips together at loss for words.

His hand sneakily took hers in his again, tenderly squeezing it as he spoke, “It wasn’t an excuse to you before. Why is it one now?”

She looked up into his eyes, her feelings a little messy, and her answer was another question, “So what?”

“You and I…” he prayed he wouldn’t say anything wrong to express his feelings this time, and as he built courage within him, he proceeded to say, “We have a thing… and I think it’s worth a chance, even if that chance only lasts for a few more days, before we have to go our separate ways.”

Mikasa scoffed, “In other words; you want to have a temporary affair with me…”

Levi cursed under his breath, “That’s one way to put it.”

“That’s what it  _is_.” Her shoulders shrugged nonchalantly, stating the obvious.

“Not that you minded before.” He argued, and his eyes spoke of his sincerity better than his words ever could.

Mikasa’s eyes brushed his with a cold gaze, and she claimed, “No, I didn’t. What about you, though? Don’t  _you_  mind?”

He lowered his gaze from hers, knowing very well that his feelings caused enough confusion for the both of them, but he got his answers now, all he needed to know, and he was more certain than he ever was. He met her eyes again and spoke, “Petra and I aren’t lasting long… It’s just… until she fully accepts that.”

Her head shook, and with her hand slipping out of his, a heavy sigh made its way out of her mouth as she faced away from him and walked.

Levi’s heart almost fell out of his chest, throbbing fast and hard. What did he do wrong this time? He wondered, and he feared to even ask, for he felt as if that would only result in Mikasa hating him even more than she probably did now. He saw her stop walking, and he froze in his place, a breath caught in his throat when watching her turn around to look at him.

Silence wore her for a couple seconds that felt longer in retrospect, but her feet led her back to him, her head tilting to the side as she asked, “You’re sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.” he answered almost excitedly.

“And you won’t regret it?” she asked again, taking one more step closer to him, “Or tell me you don’t know how to deal with it?”

He shook his head repeatedly. In fact, the one thing he would regret would be to waste his chance to be with her while he still could.

She nodded at last, convinced, “Okay then… I’m in…”

He couldn’t hide his happiness with that big smile that tainted his face and he stepped a little bit closer to her, stared into her eyes, and this time he didn’t have to fear what they held behind them. He stared at her with pure joy, and his hand reached up to her cheek, stroking it gently. It felt so nice to be this close from her again, feel the warmth and softness of her skin, and perhaps even… if he brought her face a bit closer, and touched her forehead with his—he didn’t have to. Her lips pressed against his in no time. And the feeling the contact brought upon him wasn’t anything like he remembered it to be, but much better. Only then did he realize that his memory betrayed him more than anything, he missed her more than he believed, and was he so happy to get the chance to hold her once again now, to feel the sweetness of her lips against his, to let her warmth fill him up, and to give in to her like he so desperately needed.

She broke from the kiss slowly and pulled back, gazing into his eyes with just as much passion, and he wondered if it would be too much to steal another kiss from her. He decided to take his chances, held the back of her neck with his hand and brought her in, their lips grazing against one another’s, and their kiss lasted slightly longer before they broke away from it to catch a breath.

“Let’s not forget we’re not in my suite this time.” She mumbled teasingly.

“I didn’t forget…” he claimed, and the two of them drowned in the silence of the moment, savoring the look in each other’s eyes, relishing in the warmth of one another. “Were you headed somewhere?” Levi asked, knowing they couldn’t stand here all day long.

“I was headed somewhere away from you…” she mocked, “But now there’s no need to…”

“Mhm…” he nodded. They could have the day for themselves. The snow surrounding them filled the air with nostalgia, the closeness of their bodies giving them all the warmth they needed, and the day was more beautiful now that they’d made up. It would only be fair if they did something fun, and enjoyed each other’s company as long as they could. “Have you ever been ice skating before?”

She nodded, “I have. My fiancé and I went ice skating together once. It was nice.”

“Your  _ex_ -fiancé.” he corrected her one more time, and she snickered at his tone. “We should go ice skating…”

She didn’t mind that—actually she loved the idea. It would be a good stress reliever. Her head nodded in response, a smile stealing her lips, “Alright.”

They walked beside each other, quietly, and Levi couldn’t ease the feeling that something was wrong—something was missing, and his eyes searched for it, falling down onto her hand hanging to her side. Nervously, he took her hand in his, and they exchanged a soft gaze before their fingers intertwined, drawing a smile on their faces.

They arrived to the ice rink soon enough, put on the skates, and prepared to start. He held her hands as they both stepped into the icy surface, and it didn’t take them long before they started gliding across it. It was a little bit crowded, with couples and families, which made the atmosphere even cozier.

“You have steady legs…” he noted.

“I know.” She bragged, “You’re not bad either…” with a smile she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He got lost in that moment for a while, staring into her eyes, trying to study every emotion that got covered with the shadow of hatred she masked herself with, and he let the question slip out, wondering if it made him look desperate, “Are you really indifferent… about us—me?”

She teased him with silence for a little while, and then a shrug of her shoulders, and to answer his question, she asked him another one, “Why does it matter to you?”

“Because… I’ve been wondering…” ever since he met her, if he were to be honest, “All of this hatred you bear in your eyes… is it real? Or is it just… your way to defend yourself from being heartbroken again?”

She spoke in a contained voice, “Both. It’s real because I don’t want to be heartbroken again.”

He nodded, but not quite convinced, “And suppose that… your fiancé ever came back to you… said he was sorry and that he regretted everything he’s done to you… would you forgive him?”

A spark of abhorrence glistened in her eyes at that question, and her hesitance was obvious, for it took her a while to wear a straight face and get a reply out, “My  _ex_ -fiancé…” she corrected and then added bitterly, “And I would never forgive him, even if he came crying and begging on his knees… even if he truly regretted it and felt guilty about it…. even if he was dying… I can’t and won’t ever forgive what he did to me.”

“All of this hatred…” his eyes narrowed doubtfully, almost in disappointment, “Is it really possible to hate someone you used to love this much?”

She averted her gaze somewhere else, letting him look for an answer to that himself, and she thanked the lord for looking away, for her eyes fell on someone who looked like Eren—it  _was_  Eren, and she confirmed it when she saw the rest of her friends join him into the ice rink. Her eyes widened in shock, and her lips parted to allow a gasp.

“What is it?” Levi furrowed his brows in confusion. He noticed that she was looking at something, but before he’d turn around to see, she started skimming backwards and pulling him with her, “What are you doing?”

“Uh! I think it’s… We should leave, right now…” she said inexplicably.

“We just got here…” he argued, and attempted to look around, but she warned him not to.

“Don’t…” she snapped, “Don’t turn around…”

“Who is it?” he wondered, the look on her face making him feel slightly nervous, “It’s not Petra, is it?”

She shook her head at him repeatedly, “No, no… It’s not… It’s…” but before she could even explain to him, she bumped into something—or someone, she couldn’t tell because she wasn’t looking, and she lost her balance and slipped, and she pulled Levi down with her as the two of them fell hard against the surface.

Eren and his friends heard the gasps of people, and their eyes directly fell on the couple that embarrassingly fell to the ground.

“That must hurt a lot…” Eren commented, eyeing the two with slight amusement.

“Do you think we should help them?” Historia suggested, standing still next to Eren.

“Nah, they’re fine.” Eren’s shoulders shrugged nonchalantly.

“That’s funny…” Sasha said, gaining her friends’ attention before she proceeded to explain, “That woman looked exactly like Mikasa…”

“Huh?” the friends quickly tried to find the couple again, but they were nowhere to be seen.

“Wait, are you sure?” Historia asked urgently, “Maybe we can catch her if we…” she was about to go after them, but Eren held her hand, stopping her, and she turned to him with questioning eyes.

He shook his head at her and said, “Don’t. There’s a reason why she left on that vacation without us, and that is to be alone and have some time for herself.”

“He’s right.” Armin added with a nod, “We should respect that. After all she’s been through, she probably really needs this.”

Historia frowned, and though her curiosity was strong, she listened to her friends and had enough crossing her arms against her chest, “I really wanted to see the guy she’s with.”

Meanwhile, Mikasa and Levi had already left the ice rink, rather quickly. As Mikasa tried to catch her breaths from running so fast, Levi was catching up with her, a few steps behind.

She let out a heavy sigh and then turned to say, “I’m so sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. You’re the one who hit her head…” he said, “But, seriously… who was back there?” his eyes widened when a sudden realization hit him, and he paused in his place, ready to go right back in if he received the confirmation, “Was it your ex-fiancé?”

“No…” she exclaimed, and shook her head reassuringly, “It wasn’t him… it was…” she sighed and explained, “My friends…”

“Your friends?” he raised a brow, “And why did you run away from them? Should’ve introduced me to them instead.”

“They’re...” She shrugged her shoulders, having a hard time trying to explain to him, “I just… don’t want to get caught up answering questions about who I’m with and why… and if they saw me now, they wouldn’t let me go…”

Levi breathed out, “I see… Fair enough.”

“Your company is enough for now.” She added, and approached him with a smile, took his hand in hers and leaned in for a kiss.

His lips curled up ever so slightly, returning her kiss as soon as their lips touched.  _He’d gladly give her all the company he needed._

It was the start of whatever it was that bonded them. Perhaps an affair described it best on the surface, but the amount of time they spent in each other’s company always erased the fact that he had someone else in his life, always made the world theirs and only theirs.

They’d become inseparable, impatient to see each other again the moment they part, and at times they’d even spend the night together, sleep in each other’s arms so they’d wake up to each other’s faces.

They’d cook breakfast together, eat together, and chat all the while they did. Love wasn’t a word Mikasa liked to use anymore to describe these sorts of feelings, but she couldn’t deny the joy and happiness she felt when by his side, couldn’t deny that she longed for him, his presence next to her, his kiss and touch, and all the affection he could offer her. At times she thought maybe love was the only way she could describe what bonded the two of them, for she could tell that’s what Levi felt for her. He was as oblivious and clumsy as ever, couldn’t hide away his feelings, and she could read him like an open book. He never said the words verbally, but he’d spoken them in so many different ways.

She was happy with him, but she couldn’t say she returned his love. Perhaps she’d become cold-hearted overtime, after what she went through, and perhaps love became a stranger to her, something she’d never feel again. The truth was that her heart had died the moment she was betrayed, and it had stayed dead ever since.

She never found any difficulty when she packed her bags that one night after he left her suite, and woke up in the morning, ready to leave the hotel and everything behind.

Nothing good lasted forever, and this was no different. She had no reason to stay anymore.

The bellboy carried the last bag outside of the suite and headed to the elevator as she stood there to close the door behind her, carrying one more bag with her, and her purse’s strap hanging about her shoulder. She watched the bellboy walk away, and paused in her place, her eyes scanning the hallway across from her as though trying to memorize every inch of it, specifically the door to Levi’s suite. Her eyes held a hint of uncertainty in them, doubt tingling the inside of her chest with quickening heartbeats, though her thin brows arched to hide the hesitation under a more confident disguise, and she turned on her heel swiftly.

She stood at the front desk, handing back the key to end her reservation, and her hand reached out to retrieve her credit card from the receptionist’s hold, putting it back in her purse.

“Thank you so much, Ms. Ackerman. We hope you had a nice stay at our hotel. It’s sad to see you leaving soon, though.” The receptionist’s lips curled up into a wide smile, “Come back again, please.

“I hoped to stay a little longer, too but…” after a short pause, Mikasa heaved a breath, “I have a plane to catch.”

“I hope you have a safe flight, Miss. We’ll be happy to have you any other time.” The receptionist offered a nod at her, “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.”

“Thank you.” Mikasa nodded her head back, “Merry Christmas.”

It was time for her to leave, and her bag was back in her hold, her eyes seeking one last look at the lobby, and that was when she saw her standing opposite from her; Petra. The look on her face was that of shock and confusion, but Mikasa waited no longer as she faced away from the woman and walked to the door.

Her car was waiting for her at the front of the hotel. She placed the last bag inside the trunk and, once she thanked the valet for bringing her car, she took the driver’s seat, and tugged out her cell quickly to make a call.

“Historia, good morning…” she spoke calmly, “I was wondering if you could come take my car… from the airport.”

 _“Airport?”_  Historia gasped,  _“What airport? Why is your car in an airport?”_

Mikasa’s lips sealed for a moment, “I’m travelling…”

Historia stuttered, shocked upon hearing the news,  _“Travelling where?”_

* * *

Levi walked out of the bathroom after having washed his face, and went into the bedroom to get dressed for the day. He grabbed his cell from the nightstand and put it inside the back pocket of his jeans, then made his way to the kitchen.

He heard the sound of the door opening. As he turned around, his eyes fell wide on Petra standing there.  _Wasn’t she going to work?_  “Did you forget something?”

She shut the door and stood across from him, shooting fierce gazes his way, “Was that your plan? Waiting for me to go to work so you could pack your bags and join her?”

“What?” his brow rose, “What are you talking about?”

“I saw her… leaving…” she stated, “Just how dumb do you think I am? What, did you think that all this time I didn’t know you two were sleeping together?”

Levi knew very well that she was aware, had wondered why she never confronted him about it before, but was happy to play ignorant. He found it strange that she decided to bring this up now all of the sudden.

Petra rolled her eyes at him, “You know I hoped that you’d have some decency left and face me like a man, tell me it was over between us instead of running away with her like fucking teenagers.”

“Petra, what are you even talking about?” Levi’s words spoke of his cluelessness, but the look on her face was enough to tell she wasn’t buying it. He let out a breath, “I’m not running away with her. I’m not going anywhere…”

Her arms crossed against her chest. “Is that so? I suppose you’re also going to tell me that you had absolutely no idea that  _she_  was leaving today?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, wondered what sort of game she was trying to play here. “She’s not leaving today, actually. She’s staying for another week…”

“Is that what she told you?” her head shook slightly, pity filling her eyes, “She left, and I saw her.”

“She didn’t tell me anything about leaving.” He shrugged, brushing her off, and opened the faucet to fill a glass of water.

Petra couldn’t hide the smirk that traced her lips, “She didn’t tell you because she played you.”

His lips parted to heave a sigh as he turned to her again, “You’re going to be late for your work.”

“You don’t believe me?” Petra’s arms dropped to her sides, brows arching, “Okay, how about you go check for yourself? Go to her suite, right now and see if you’ll find her.”

There was a pause as Levi considered Petra’s words, his lips parting slightly as though to say something, only to press together again, and in the midst of that silence, fear crept into his face. Petra had no reason to lie to him, even if she was trying to prove something, and he knew that very well. Realization settled at the back of his head, as the possibility of her words being truthful grew more likely. There was an uncomfortably tight feeling in his chest, as he placed down the glass of water, and soon walked out of the kitchen.

He stood next to Petra and opened the door, and as soon as he stepped outside, he saw a bunch of people entering Mikasa’s suite; cleaning service possibly.

Petra stood behind him and tilted her head, “See?”

He gazed at her briefly but couldn’t bother say anything back, and simply walked to Mikasa’s suite, went inside to check, but all he could see were workers and no sign of her.

His breath stuck in his throat for a second before he managed to get the question out of his mouth, “Excuse me… Where can I find Ms. Ackerman?”

One of the maids looked up at him, “You mean the woman who was staying here? She left, and we’re cleaning the suite now.”

Levi stood paralyzed in his place, the words ringing repeatedly in his head, trying to make sense of them, but failing nonetheless. He backed away slowly, getting out of the suite, and upon turning he saw Petra watching him, an obvious smirk on her face.

“Do you believe me now?”

“She didn’t leave…” he argued, his voice and eyes speaking of his denial, and he wasted no time to run to the elevator.

Petra stood there dumbfounded, observing the way he reacted, how shocked he was, and she soon came to realize that he didn’t lie to her. He didn’t plan on going anywhere, nor did he know that she was leaving today, and all of it sounded strangely funny in her head. Curiosity drove her to follow him, however, and joined him on the elevator ride, watched him run in the lobby to the front desk, slamming a strong fist against its surface.

“Where’s Mikasa?” he demanded urgently.

“Um… Ms. Ackerman?” the receptionist stuttered, slightly intimidated by his tone, “She… left a few minutes ago.”

“What do you mean she left? Wasn’t she staying for another week?” he snapped.

“Yes, but she checked out today.” She explained.

Levi blinked a couple times, his thin brows drawing together, “Why is that? Did something happen?”

“I’m…” the receptionist hesitated, “I’m sorry… I’m not sure I’m allowed to share information about our guests—”

“Just spit it out.” He spoke quite threateningly, his fist tightening, and he felt Petra’s hand on his shoulder.

“We’re sorry…” she started, wearing a friendly smile, speaking in a much contained voice than Levi could, “We don’t want to cause any problems. We just really need to know where she went. We’re worried she might be in some kind of trouble, and maybe we can help her.”

The receptionist stared at Petra silently for a little while, and for the sole purpose of being scared of the gazes Levi was giving her, she spoke up, “She only told me that she had a plane to catch… so my best guess is that she’s headed to an airport.”

Petra’s eyes widened at the surprising news, “Airport?” so not only was she leaving the hotel, but possibly the country, too?

“Yes, that’s all I know…” the receptionist added.

“Thank you. We really appreciate it.” Petra nodded at her with a smile, and then turned to Levi who was walking away with his cell in his hand, figured he was probably trying to call her, so she approached him, “You can call her on our way to the airport.”

Levi paused, turning to look at Petra with wide eyes. ‘Our way to the airport’? Wasn’t she going to stop him from following her? Was she going to come with him, even?

“Come on, hurry up!” she insisted and rushed to leave the hotel, and although he couldn’t comprehend her actions at the time, he didn’t waste a second to join her.

Her car was outside already after she’d asked the valet to bring it, and so they got inside it fast, and Petra took off in an instant.

Levi was busy trying to call Mikasa over and over and over again, but it didn’t seem like she was answering any of his calls.

Petra watched him for a while, couldn’t help herself from commenting as it was all so amusing to her, “I was wondering when this would happen. I knew she didn’t look like the faithful, trustworthy type, and I warned you from getting with her, so many times, but you had to do what was on your mind, didn’t you?”

“You don’t know her.” He said defensively, “She’s not that kind of person, and I’m sure she has a good reason for leaving like this…”  _It just doesn’t make sense._

Petra raised her brow suspiciously, wondering how Levi could still think so highly of her when she very clearly just left him. Perhaps she knew the answer all along, from the moment she found out about their little affair, and she only pretended that she was ignorant about it all. “Levi…” she paused, and then asked him with a straight tone, “Do you love her?” but he didn’t answer, “Is that why you don’t want to believe that she used you?”

“She didn’t.” he snapped, angrily. He  _knew_  she didn’t. He knew Mikasa wouldn’t do that to him. Why would she? They had good times together, and everything was going just fine. They’d planned on going out to the movies today, and he wanted to tell her everything, about how he felt, about his plans to break up with Petra, about maybe getting a chance to take their relationship a step further, see where all of it was going. But now she was gone. She was gone and she didn’t even say goodbye, and he  _knew_  she had a reason behind it. He knew she wouldn’t disappear like that. She would  _never_ use him.

* * *

Mikasa’s friendswere gathered up in her apartment after the call Historia received from her, trying to understand what really was going on.

“What do you mean she said she’s travelling?” Eren asked in utter confusion, “Why wouldn’t she let us know about that sooner?”

“She didn’t say anything else to me.” Historia frowned, “She simply asked me to get her car from the airport, and said that she had something to take care of. When I asked what it was, she refused to tell me.”

“What is she planning to do?” Sasha furrowed her brow.

A sudden knock on the door interrupted their conversation, and after exchanging curious gazes, Eren got up from the couch and opened the door. There was a slight, angry look on his face once seeing the person who stood before him, “You!”

* * *

Mikasa sat on a bench at the airport, waiting for the boarding announcement to her flight. She looked around, scanning her surroundings warily, tapping her foot on the floor. There was no going back now and there was no time to question anything. She sucked in a deep breath, when finally hearing the call to her flight, and got up quickly, held her bag in her hand, as well as her boarding pass and passport, and proceeded to walk to the gate.

“Wait, Mikasa!”

She could swear that voice was Levi’s, and her heart skipped a beat. She kept going forward, with a firm grip on her bag, her pace quickening by the second, but she felt a tight hold around her wrist, forcing her to turn around and pulling her to stop.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he took the bag from her hand forcefully, and glared at her, “Where are you going all of a sudden?”

“Give it back, now…” she demanded, her tone as serious as the look in her eyes.

“Fuck that. I’m not letting you go anywhere before you explain to me what’s going on.” He insisted.

She rolled her eyes at him and answered sarcastically, “I’m travelling.”

His brows furrowed, “Why?”

“My family’s waiting for me…” she claimed.

Levi couldn’t help but blink at that, “Your family?”

“Yes. Now give me my bag.” She pressed and reached for the object, but he pulled his hand away, preventing her from taking it.

“Stop fucking with me…” he tightened his grip around her wrist, “Tell me what’s really going on here…”

She looked at him dead in the eyes, her lips pressed together tight. There was so much hatred in her eyes, unexplainable disgust and anger, the same look she’d wear whenever she thought of her ex-fiancé, and he wondered what kind of mistake he made to make her look at him this way.

“If you would really like to know what’s happening, I’ll tell you…” She struggled and slipped her hand out of his hold, massaging her wrist slightly to ease the soreness, “What’s happening is that I just wanted you to understand what it’s like…”

Levi’s eyes widened, confusion seeping into them, unsure what she meant by that, “What?”

“What it’s like to love someone so much, give them everything you have…” she proceeded to say, her dark gaze piercing through his furiously, “And then find out that you weren’t worth  _anything_  to them.”

Levi wasn’t sure how that answered any of his questions, wasn’t sure what kind of connection there was between him and what she just said. He couldn’t understand why she was looking at him the way she was, as if all the affection her eyes held for him only last night never existed in the first place. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, “You wouldn’t know…” there was a smile forming across her cheeks, but was full of nothing but pain and sorrow as she spoke her next words, “I guess some things are easy to forget, like how you spent last Christmas…”

It felt as though the more she spoke, the less she made sense, and he saw her slip her hand into the pocket of her coat, tug out something as she said, “You know… I lied to you before…”

His eyes met hers, listening carefully to what she had to say.

“I do have one picture with my ex-fiancé… one that I kept so that I’d always remember… the reason I went to that hotel.” She took a hold of his hand, and placed the picture she just tugged out in it, “Perhaps you’d like to keep it. Maybe it’ll help you remember a few things, too.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she took her bag from him swiftly and turned away, leaving in haste to catch her flight.

Levi froze in his place, his eyes following her as she walked away from him, feeling unable to run after her, unable to stop her, ask her for an explanation, for his brain wouldn’t wrap itself around any of what she just told him.

He looked down at his hand, and lifted it up to take a look at the picture she handed him. He turned it over to the front, and his eyes widened, lips parted to let out a quiet gasp.

On the picture was Mikasa, standing in what looked to be a living room, the background decorations hinting that it was Christmas time.

And before her,  _he_  sat on one knee, holding her hand in his and putting a ring on her finger.

_TBC._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, there it is, the promised plot twist. I’m very sorry about this (but also not really). Stay tuned for the last chapter to see what’s gonna happen!
> 
> The last chapter might come late because I'm busy with work and life, but it'll come eventually!


	5. Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is at last; the last chapter of this fic. After four years of waiting I'm really happy to finally share this with you guys. I'm sorry that it took me ages to get this done. I've been busy with work and life and had so little time for writing, but I made sure to work on this whenever I had the chance to.
> 
> This chapter is the longest out of the previous ones, and it's also quite a wild ride, so apologies for any potential headaches it may give you.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you'll like it and find the ending satisfying and that all your questions will be answered.
> 
> Enjoy!

Petra could see Mikasa's angry face all the while she talked to Levi, though she wasn't quite sure what it was all about. She saw Mikasa leave, eventually, and Levi simply stood there, looking at something in his hand.

She approached him slowly with curious eyes, and rested a hand on his shoulder, "What did she say?"

Levi remained quiet, and Petra noticed the look on his face; that of shock and surprise—disbelief. Only when her eyes fell on the picture he held in his hand did her jaw drop.

"W-what is this?" she gasped, took the picture from his hand to look at it closely, inspecting it thoroughly. "When was this taken?" she looked at him, a thousand more questions under her tongue, "Levi, did you know her before?"

He let silence devour him as he lost his mind in a senseless world of emptiness, voices and images from unknown memories blurring his sight and filling his head by the moment.

"Last Christmas…" he murmured in a low voice.

"Huh?" her brows rose, eyes shifting off the picture to look at him instead.

He remembered that time in the car, when Petra had asked him where he'd spent last Christmas, and he couldn't remember. At the time he thought it was because he'd been wasted, too drunk to recall anything. Now the answer was writing itself as he stood there, and somehow it all made sense even when it didn't.

A sudden rush of flashbacks overflew his mind, of a time when he was driving a car; his car, and a small box sat in his hand. Of a time when he held Mikasa's hand as he knelt before her, and the words they exchanged rang in his ears louder and louder.

_"Will you marry me?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Smile!"_

There was a flash, presumably coming from a camera—the moment that picture was taken, the picture that Mikasa had given him before leaving, the picture that no longer sat in his hand, but flashed before his eyes as vividly as ever.

It was slowly coming back to him, and he could see himself in the car again, driving. This time the setting was different from before, however.

He was leaving the hotel to go after her. He remembered Petra, deep in her sleep on the bed of the room they stayed in. He grabbed the keys off the nightstand, ran to his car as quickly as his legs could move, and drove off fast.

It was still early in the morning, but the roads were slowly getting crowded, and all his eyes could see at the time was her face; the grim look she wore as she stared up at him, the senseless way she took off her ring and dropped it, then left immediately without looking back once.

He tugged out his phone from his pocket, and dialed her number. It rang, but she didn't answer. The call was cancelled soon after, but he kept trying regardless, over and over again, hoping she'd answer him, hoping she'd listen to him.

He clicked his tongue, cursed when a car showed up in front of him, and he punched the horn multiple times, signaling for the driver to get out of his way, but the latter didn't seem to care much. Levi wasn't going to wait, didn't have the time for that, and he tried to skip, picking up the speed of his car more.

It all happened too quickly; he couldn't even perceive it. He heard some screeching, screaming, and the horn of the truck that crossed paths with him and crashed into his car.

It all came back to him now. Everything made much more sense, and he could finally fill in that huge blank space that he tried to fill for the longest time.

That time in the elevator ride, when she mumbled in her sleep that she hated him. That time in her suite, when she invited him for breakfast, and he could see how how hesitant she was to share her story with him, and tell him about herself. That time at the toy store when he saw tears in her eyes as he held Alex in his arms. That time at the gym when she punched the pads in his hands with force he never imagined could come out of her. That time in the ice rink, when she didn't want him to see her friends, her hesitance to let him back into her life, and… did she mention something about getting an abortion—was she pregnant…  _with his child?_

He understood now. Everything she said and didn't say. Everything she did and didn't do. He understood, but couldn't even begin to wrap his mind around any of it. There was an ill feeling settling in his stomach, that of discomfort and disgust, with himself more than anything.

To think that all those times she talked about her ex-fiancé she referred to no one other than him. To think that all those times he was the reason her eyes turned dark and her voice sounded dull, the source of all the pain and hatred he saw in her. To think he couldn't recall any of it at the time.

How could he even ask for her forgiveness, when he couldn't even forgive himself?

He placed a hand on his head, feeling intense and continuous throbbing that got louder and louder with every passing second, as though something was threatening to explode at any given chance, and he couldn't stop it.

"Levi!" he could hear Petra call him, and everything around him turned into a big blur.

* * *

Mikasa sat in the plane, her head resting against the window as she stared outside with the dullest of gazes, and a faint frown seemed about her face.

She did what she wanted. She had her revenge on him, and yet there was a strange, heavy feeling bugging her chest, an uncomfortable and burdensome one she couldn't shake off. She'd thought she'd find happiness after achieving her goal and getting justice, thought she'd feel fulfilled and strong, ready to move on with her life. So why was she feeling guilty, gross...  _regretful?_

She'd thought about it for a long time, of a way she could make him pay, so he'd know what he'd put her through, so she'd show him just how strong she was without him.

 _He deserved it_ , she told herself countless times, and whenever she had doubts, she'd remind herself of that day; when she stood outside that hotel, and saw him in that balcony. When he lied to her and her world came crumbling, falling apart like that ring fell to the hard ground.

 _"Wait, Mikasa!"_  he'd called, but she'd hung up on him and gotten back in her car, driving back to her apartment.

She'd lost everything because of him,  _everything_ , gone in one single day.

She'd stood in the bathroom, watching the papers in the sink burn; her pregnancy test results, which she received the day before. She'd walked out of the bathroom, drowning in anger and sorrow. Her eyes had landed on a picture sitting on the table in the living room, a picture of the two of them together, holding onto each other and exchanging a kiss, and it was enough to set raging fire into her blood.

She'd stomped her way to the living room, threw her arms out and flipped the coffee table up-side down, breaking almost everything that was on it, but that still wasn't enough. She still wasn't satisfied, and she went and grabbed every object she could find, anything she could grab, tossing it across the room, against a wall, crushing it in her own hands, stepping on it with her heels.

It wasn't until a sharp pain pierced through her belly so suddenly that she stopped, and she'd clutched her fist tight around the fabric of her shirt, looked down to spot the red stains tainting her bottoms.

 _"No…"_  she shook her head,  _"No… please…"_

 _"Mikasa, are you there?"_  there was a voice calling her from behind her apartment door,  _"Mikasa?"_  the voice called again, and when the door opened, her neighbor Rico walked in quickly.

She'd heard the noises of shattering glass and objects breaking, smelled something burning too, and she soon spotted Mikasa in the living room.

 _"Oh my god!"_  she shouted, finding her on the floor, sitting with bloodied clothes and red stains on her hands and on the floor too.  _"Mikasa, look at me."_  She held her closely,  _"We need to take you to the hospital…"_

 _"No…"_  she shook her head,  _"No… I don't want to go…"_

 _"You're bleeding…"_  her neighbor pressed.  _"I'm calling an ambulance, okay?"_

 _"No, please…"_  she sobbed,  _"I don't want to lose it… I don't want to lose my baby, please…"_

She'd been half-conscious when arriving to the hospital, nurses rushing her through a long, bright hallway on a stretcher while she cried and wept.

 _"What's her condition?"_ she heard the doctor ask.

 _"It seems she's having a miscarriage!"_ one of the nurses answered, and that was the last thing she heard before falling unconscious.

The next morning Rico came visiting along with her friend, Hitch. She had brought some red roses with her, and she carefully placed them inside the glass vase that sat on the small table by Mikasa's bed, all the while the latter watched her in complete silence.

 _"How're you feeling now?"_ Rico asked once taking a seat next to her, but all she received in turn was a pointed look, and she let out a sigh,  _"Right. That's a stupid question."_

Hitch crossed her arms against her chest and sighed,  _"However you feel, that bastard doesn't deserve a single tear from you…"_

 _"That bastard…"_ Mikasa spoke, her voice somewhere between a cry and a hiss,  _"I loved him… I was going to marry him… and I was going to have his child…"_ she bit her lower lip hard, almost tearing the skin off.

 _"Oh, well, Karma's already got him, darling."_  Hitch shrugged her shoulders, _"The asshole's on the brink of death at this very moment…"_

 _"Hitch!"_ Rico snapped at her, aiming a glare in her direction.

 _"Whatever, she has the right to know."_ Hitch claimed defensively.  _"She'll find out sooner or later."_

 _"Find out what?"_ Mikasa raised a confused brow, eyeing the two of them suspiciously.

Rico exchanged a look with Hitch, and Mikasa could tell they were uncertain about whatever it was they wanted to tell her.

Hitch inhaled deeply, and then sighed, _"He got into a car accident yesterday, apparently."_ she stated, _"He's in a coma… and the doctors aren't sure he'll wake up."_

Mikasa's eyes widened at the news, couldn't tell whether she was shocked out of concern for his well-being or over how fast her prayers to see him hurt came true, but her blank expression came back on soon after, when the shock wore away, and all she could feel was loathing. How could she feel anything else for the man who supposedly wanted to devote his life to her but ended up betraying her in the worst way she could imagine?

She hadn't visited him once, nor had she tried to find out anything about him during that time. She was too busy trying to forget about him, about what he did to her, about what her life had come to because of him. Her friends were there to help out with that, and Historia specifically took charge of getting rid of all his belongings, threw away what could be thrown, burned what could be burned; whatever had to be done to erase his existence from her life.

Four months passed ever since.

Mikasa was coming back from work one day. She stood at her apartment door, tugging out the keys from her purse, when she heard the door to Rico's open, and saw her walk out.

 _"Hey, Mikasa!"_ Rico called,  _"Can you come in for a minute?"_

Mikasa eyed the woman questioningly, but simply nodded and accepted her invite. They sat in the living room, where Hitch was apparently waiting for them, with some interesting news to share.

 _"He woke up?"_ Mikasa's brow rose after hearing what Hitch had to say.

 _"He did."_  Hitch nodded, _"But the thing is that… they're saying he doesn't remember anything from before the accident, at all. I don't remember what they called it… some kind of amnesia."_

Mikasa remained quiet, as though trying to process what she heard, and an only question was all she could form, _"Who told you this?"_

 _"That whore he was with at the hotel…"_ Hitch answered bitterly,  _"Like, she didn't leave him the whole time he was at the hospital. I have no idea when their relationship got so serious."_

 _"Hitch!"_ Rico pressed, a grim expression wearing her face.

 _"I'm sorry…"_  Hitch sighed and crossed her arms before her,  _"You know… maybe not telling her the truth was a mistake. She's only grown closer to him ever since and she acts like she's been dating him for years. Don't you think I should just tell her about it all, assuming she didn't know—"_

 _"Don't."_  Mikasa shot, threat clear in her voice,  _"There's nothing she needs to know anymore. He's no longer engaged."_

Hitch arched her brow at that,  _"Yes, but… He cheated on you…"_

 _"And he got what he deserved for it…"_  Rico interrupted urgently,  _"No need to start more drama. Mikasa has moved on."_

 _"Oh well…"_  Hitch merely gave a shrug of her shoulders, rolling her eyes,  _"As you like."_

Two weeks prior to Mikasa's departure on her vacation, she sat with Hitch and Rico again for a cup of tea. Rico had invited her over after Hitch had come back with more news.

 _"She came up to me with her snobby walk and was all like, 'You won't believe what happened last night! Levi proposed to me!' and I was like, 'Bitch, I don't give a shit' but I didn't actually say that to her face, obviously… I just… smiled and congratulated her…"_ Hitch clicked her tongue, _"But like, how the fuck doesn't he remember anything about you? It's almost like you never even existed in his life. I wonder if he's doing it on purpose… Bastard probably is. He's a fucking coward and doesn't want to own up to his mistakes."_

Hitch rambled on and on about more things that Mikasa didn't hear because she was too lost, staring at her empty hand where a ring once wrapped around her finger, and her grip around the tea cup tightened as she thought about the fact that that ring now belonged to another woman, a woman who hadn't been in his life for nearly as long as she'd been, a woman who didn't know about him more than she once did. But did she ever know him for real? She believed he wasn't the kind of person who would hurt her in such way, but she was clearly mistaken.

 _"Oh my god! I almost forgot to tell you this!"_ Hitch gasped all of a sudden, finally gaining Mikasa's attention again.

 _"Tell me what?"_ Mikasa wasn't even sure she wanted to hear more. The taste of her tea became so bitter in her mouth, and she placed the cup down in distaste, her grim eyes fixing on Hitch.

 _"So we've got this whole like business deal coming, meeting with some big companies and stuff. Two weeks from now, she'll be leaving the city to meet up with some of these people… and like she totally convinced our boss to send her because she'll be staying at this fancy hotel."_ Hitch huffed, _"She came to me and was like, 'Finally I get a chance to spend some alone time with my fiancé for a whole month!' and once again I was like, 'Bitch, I don't give a shit' but of course, I didn't say that to her and I just smiled and told her how great that was…"_

Mikasa couldn't help but snicker at all of that. Hitch paused, eyeing her suspiciously.

 _"What's funny about that?"_ Rico asked, a hint of concern in her eyes as she watched her.

Mikasa shook her head, _"Nothing…"_ she heaved a breath, _"Where's this fancy hotel you mentioned?"_

 _"Oh!"_ Hitch exclaimed, _"I actually didn't ask her… but I can do that if you like."_

Mikasa nodded, _"Yeah, you do that…"_

 _"What are you thinking?"_ Rico questioned warily, not sure she liked the grim look on Mikasa's face, _"Why do you care where they're going to stay?"_

 _"Well, no big deal, really."_ She shrugged, _"It's just that I'm taking my vacation soon, and I'm trying to find somewhere fancy to spend it. Maybe that hotel's a good spot."_

 _"Mikasa!"_ Rico said in a serious tone, _"Listen: don't think about doing something stupid. You've moved on with your life and you're doing so great without him. You don't need anything to do with him."_

 _"I didn't move on with my life…"_ Mikasa's lips pressed together tightly, her teeth gritting as she eyed Rico with a fierce glare,  _"I didn't just wake up one morning and thought that my life doesn't suck anymore. I can't move on with it when he's living his so happily with his new fiancée, having no idea how much I had to suffer because of him."_

Rico let out a frustrated breath, _"I understand that. Trust me I do, but you also need to understand that life isn't fair…"_

 _"Well, then I'll make it fair."_ She snapped resentfully; grudge burning within her eyes,  _"If life isn't going to give me justice, I'll give it to myself… I lost everything because of him…"_ and her voice cracked when she said the last bit,  _"I lost my baby… and I'll never forgive him…"_

And she never did. She couldn't find it in her heart to look past what he did to her, and she swore to never back down until she made him drink from the same cup he served her.

All she had to do was make him fall in love with her all over again—it happened once before, after all.

She hadn't planned on leaving early, truthfully speaking, not until she received a call from her mother a day before her flight.

 _"Mom, hey."_  She sat on her bed, her bathrobe wrapped loosely around her body.

 _"Mikasa…"_  her mother's voice was raspy,  _"Honey…"_

 _"Mom, what's wrong?"_  Mikasa's brows furrowed.

" _Your father… he's really sick."_  The mother cried,  _"I was told that I need to move him to a hospital in Germany, so we're taking a flight today."_

 _"Dad…"_  Mikasa's lips parted, letting out a silent gasp, and no more words came out.

 _"If you can make it there, honey, I'm sure your dad will be very happy to see you again."_  The mother pleaded,  _"He's… getting weaker, and he keeps talking about you, bringing up memories from when you were a child… and I don't know what to do…"_

 _"I'll be there."_  Mikasa reassured,  _"Give me the address to the hospital, and I'll be there tomorrow as soon as I can."_

 _"Thank you, honey."_  The mother wept,  _"We'll be waiting for you."_

 _"I love you."_  Mikasa murmured, listened to her mother return those words before the call ended, and she sat on the bed absentmindedly, staring into nothing in particular, until Levi walked into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, and another sitting around his shoulder, his hair wet.

 _"Everything okay?"_  he asked, eyeing her suspiciously,  _"You look like you just shat a brick"_

Mikasa tilted her head to the side and looked at him before standing up, putting her phone on the nightstand in the process,  _"You shouldn't have taken that shower."_

 _"Why's that?"_ he raised a brow, and saw her approach him slowly as she undid her robe with one pull on the tie, shaking it off her shoulders to let it drop to the floor. Levi's eyes fall away from her body, a red shade coloring his cheeks.

"I'm not done with you yet." She stood before him, pulled on the towel he'd wrapped around his waist and threw it on the floor.

She saw him gulp, could tell he was excited just from hearing her words, and she removed the towel off his shoulders swiftly, wrapped her arms around him, threading her fingers in his wet hair as she kissed him intently.

He held her by the waist, returned her kiss and walked back to the bed, where their bodies soon fell.

He was inside her in a heartbeat, moving slowly, his mouth on her neck, teasing her skin with wet kisses. Her lips parted to let out uncontrollable sighs, the dark of her eyes buried under closed lids and her body fully surrendered to his touch.

She loved this; loved the way he felt inside her, the way he kissed her, loved how he knew exactly where to touch her, how to touch her, loved how he knew just how to get all the sounds she didn't know she could make out of her, and soon she'd lose this—soon she wouldn't be able to feel this again, not ever.

Because as much as she loved this, she hated him. As much as he made her feel whole, she wanted to break him. As much as she wanted this to last, she knew she had to end it.

And she did, with no word, no explanation, no goodbye.

She just left.

* * *

Rico sat in Mikasa's living room, surrounded by her friends, who were listening intently to every detail Rico had to share with them about Mikasa and what she'd been up to this whole time. The only faces they wore were those of shock and disbelief and for a while there they were quiet for they found no words to say in turn.

"Mikasa… really did that?" Historia finally mumbled in a low voice, her eyes narrow under furrowed brows.

Rico nodded slowly, her eyes looking anywhere but their direction, "I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me. She was blinded by her grudges and… was completely heartbroken…"

"I see…" Historia lowered her head, bit down on her bottom lip as she murmured, "I had a bad feeling about that whole trip from the beginning… I should've stopped her…"

"It wasn't your fault." Eren interrupted, his hand sneakily resting on hers for comfort, and she looked at him with teary eyes, and soon a frown stole his face away.

Rico watched them for a moment and then sighed, "There was nothing any of us could've done to stop her. In fact, I barely even had any contact with her if I didn't call her that one time… I was way too worried about her, not having heard from her at all…"

It was the day Mikasa was meeting Levi at the gym. Rico had called her while she was driving her way there.

_"Good morning, Rico."_

_"Mikasa…"_  Rico started,  _"How're you doing? You haven't called at all and I'm really worried."_

_"Right… I'm sorry I didn't call, but I am doing fine. No need to worry about me."_

_"Is that so?"_  Rico raised her brow, doubt written in her voice,  _"I'm surprised, honestly. I don't know where you find the strength to deal with this sort of stuff on your own."_

_"I'm fine, I promise. I'll drop by your place when I'm back and you'll see for yourself."_

_"Well… if you're so sure."_  Rico frowned, let out a long exhale as she added, already knowing what kind of response she'd get from her, but she had to try at least,  _"Mikasa… you know it's not too late to change your mind and… stop, go back to your life and forget about the past. I know it's hard to do, but—"_

 _"Yes. I know…"_  she cut her off in an instant,  _"Thank you for everything… Take care of yourself."_

* * *

Rico looked at Mikasa's friends with guilty eyes, and mumbled most apologetically, "I should've tried harder… but she was stubborn and had already made up her mind."

"Ah…" Historia shook her head, "That's Mikasa, alright. Always so stubborn, always thinking she knows what she's doing…"

"She never told me anything about traveling, though." Rico admitted, "She just called and told me I should go and tell you everything because she wouldn't be able to do it herself."

Eren looked up, his brow rising, "What does that mean?"

"Is she…" Historia stuttered, her tears finally breaking free as they traced her cheeks, "Is she not going to come back?"

Rico blinked at the way they looked at her so expectantly, but all she did was lower her gaze and sigh, "I don't know… I truly don't."

Eren growled, "That's bullshit. Mikasa wouldn't just leave like that without saying a word to us."

"Maybe she didn't say anything because she knew how we'd react…" Sasha murmured hesitantly.

Eren eyed her with fierce eyes, then looked over at Rico as he yelled, "That's your fucking fault. Why the fuck did you go and bring him back into her life like that? She was over him. She was living her life and recovering from it all, but you had to go and ruin everything…"

"Eren…" Armin spoke for the first time since hearing Rico's story, interrupting him, "I don't want to sound like a downer but… I don't think Mikasa was over it, at all."

"Huh?" Eren glared at him.

Armin met his eyes with furrowing brows, "She tried to. She made sure she was busy enough doing all kinds of things, so she wouldn't have time to think about it." A small smile appeared across his face, but held nothing more than a sad wish for things to have been different, "But in reality she never did forget or get over it."

Eren parted his lips to argue against that, though he fell silent, his dark gaze slowly fading as a knowing expression settled in.  _Yeah, Armin was right, and he knew it._

"I'm sure that whenever she got back from work and went to eat or sleep, it'd be all she thought about. " Armin heaved a breath, "You might hate to admit it, but Levi was a big part of Mikasa's life. What he did to her isn't something she'd forget about after hanging out with us a couple times a week, or overworking herself to the brink of a breakdown. It takes time and strength…"

"Levi… made Mikasa happier than she ever was." Sasha added in complete agreement, her frown darkening, "I don't know what went down between the two of them, why Levi did such a thing to her… but she loved him a lot, and because of that she hates him even more now."

Armin gave a nod and sighed, "Even if Rico and her friend hadn't told Mikasa anything about it, how long do you think it would've taken her to finally reach a point where she gives up? She couldn't have kept the act forever."

Eren listened to his friends talk, and the more they made sense, the more it set rage into him, and he gritted his teeth, clutched his fists as he muttered darkly, "That bastard's going to fucking pay for it."

* * *

Mikasa's mother sat in a hospital room next to her husband, who lay on a bed, looking pale and sick, and the only motion his body made was the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed slow. She gazed at him with tired eyes, clearly lacking rest, until the door suddenly opened and her attention turned to it. Her eyes showed more life when seeing the person who stood at the door; none other than her daughter.

"Mikasa!" The woman got up on her feet immediately and ran to her daughter, hugging her tightly, "You're here…"

Mikasa stood still, her eyes lingering on her sick father before her arms wrapped around her mother, returning the hug, "I took the first plane I could catch."

The mother tightened her hold around her daughter, burying her face into her chest as she sobbed, "Thank you, honey. Thank you…"

"How's he?" Mikasa asked in a faint voice, and the mother pulled away slowly as they both looked back at the man.

"Waiting for you…" the mother mumbled and took Mikasa's purse from her hold to put it away.

Mikasa walked over to the bed, and sat down on the chair next to it, observing the state that her poor father was in. Her hand slowly lifted to touch his, before she properly took it in her hold and leaned down to press a soft kiss on it, "Dad…" she whispered, lifting her head to look at him, "I'm here to see you…"

The old man opened his eyes weakly and looked up at his daughter's face. He couldn't say a word to her, but his lips parted to let out a tired yet happy breath.

There was so much to say, but no time to say everything. His eyes spoke on behalf of his mouth, of all the love that filled them upon seeing his daughter by his side, on behalf of all the precious memories that flashed before him now as he lay in this bed, and his hand held onto hers as tightly as he could, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. The mother stood beside her daughter, and placed her hand on top of theirs, joining them in a tight hold.

His eyes slowly began to close, and his fingers loosened from around Mikasa's hand, letting go of her as he fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Mikasa bent down with a bouquet of flowers in her hands, placed it down on the grave of her father where he now lay, then straightened back up and gazed at it, her eyes dull and lips pressed together into a thin line.

A gentle breeze blew through the air, brushed her long locks on the way, made them move a little in harmony before resting back in place.

She heard footsteps behind her, and her eyes opened slightly as she turned around to see who it was.

The look of grief on her face vanished immediately as Levi's figure reflected in her irises, standing a few feet away from her.

She sucked in a sharp breath, and started walking almost immediately, going past him, but he held her, wrapped a tight hold around her wrist and stopped her. She tried to free her hand using the other, but it only resulted in having both her hands trapped tightly in his grasps, and he held her in front of him.

"Let me go or I'll punch you." She threatened, her eyes burning.

"I'm sorry." The words left his mouth in a low yet sincere voice.

"I said: let go." She persisted, her voice sharp and clear.

"Mikasa… listen to me—" he couldn't finish, and a gasp escaped his lips upon feeling a hard kick to his leg, soon followed by a strong punch across the face.

"You…" she started, taking in a breath before raising her finger at him, "Have no right to touch me, ever. Stay away from me. I don't want to see your face or hear your voice ever again."

Levi touched his face with the tips of his fingers, pressed on where she punched him as he moved his jaw slightly, recovering from the pain before looking at her and meeting her eyes.

"Whether you want to hear it or not, I'm sorry." He stood still, maintaining the distance between them, "I'm sorry… for your loss and…"

"Oh give me a break." She bit down on her lip, aimed a dark glare at him before walking to him and pushing him, "You don't get to say that to me. That's the  _last_  thing you ought to apologize for. You have no idea what loss is, not mine, and you never will. You know why? Because you weren't even there, because you…" she pushed him again, "You're the reason behind it all… and I hate you…" she hissed, tears burning her eyes, "I hate you so much."

He listened, his lips sealed and eyes fixed on hers. All the rage and hatred in them, all the pain in her voice—it was all  _his_  doing.

"I don't need your apology, I don't need your pity, and I don't need your love. Just go and never show me your face again."

"Mikasa!" a third voice suddenly called, and the two of them looked over to the source, spotting Eren approaching with a furious face, while the rest of her friends stood behind him.

"Eren, hold on!" Armin called, running after his friend. He grabbed him by the shoulder, but the latter pushed him off.

"Stay away." Eren shouted, and turned to face Levi again, and he walked to him with confident steps, his hands clutched into tight fists, "You fucking bastard!"

Eren threw a punch at him, but Levi dodged it quickly, wrapping his fingers around the other's fist. Eren used his free hand to aim another punch at him, but Levi dodged that one too with his elbow, and he kicked Eren in the leg, breaking his balance and dropping him to the ground.

"You jerk, I'll fucking kill you." Eren gritted his teeth, standing up immediately, but Mikasa walked over to him and held him in place.

"Eren, stop." She pressed.

Eren looked at the slightly shorter girl, clearly taking offense to her words. "What the fuck do you mean 'stop'? This bastard doesn't even deserve to have a face anymore"

" _Stop it_." Mikasa said with a serious voice, her sharp gaze piercing through his, "If there's anyone here who has the right to be angry, it's me, so stop."

Eren's lips parted, about to argue back, but no words came out of his mouth when realizing that she had a point, and soon his angry expression faded away as he looked down.

She let go of him at last, and then turned to look at Levi, a furious look on her face, "You want to show me you're sorry?" her brows drew together, and she said the next words with the harshest tone, "Then disappear from my life. I don't want to know that you even exist in the same universe as me."

Levi stood there simply, silence eating him up as he watched the hateful look on her face, the angry one on Eren's, the disappointment in the rest of her friends, and he looked down to his feet, biting his inner cheek.

What exactly did he hope to fix by doing this?

Mikasa soon walked away, going past him, and her friends followed her eventually, Historia running faster than the rest to catch up to her, while Levi merely watched all of them leave.

* * *

It had been a week since the funeral, since Mikasa had returned to the states with her mother. She'd been staying with her ever since, at her old childhood home in the countryside. They sat together in the kitchen, around a small, round dining table, drinking hot tea and observing the white coat of snow covering the land outside.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Mikasa's mother asked, holding her cup of tea in her hands, her half lidded eyes on her daughter.

Mikasa met her gaze briefly, and then fixed her eyes back on the window, looking into the distance. "No more dwelling on the past…"

"Honey…" the mother placed down her cup, tugging at the blanket over her shoulders, "Your father and I had a long life together." There was a faint smile on her face, "But now I can't help but think it was too short of a life. All those years of marriage… gone in a heartbeat. There were so many things I thought we'd have all the time for, so many things we said we'd do together… but…"

"Dad didn't cheat on you." She cut her off, the tea in her mouth tasting bitter, "He didn't leave you for someone else."

"No." the mother shook her head admittedly, "But we've had our fair share of problems as a couple. We've had bad experiences together, but we worked them through, we made our relationship work. It didn't just happen on its own."

Mikasa pressed her lips together tightly, inhaled a sharp breath through her nose and set her cup of tea down, "I've already worked out my problems; I got rid of them."

The mother's brows furrowed, a soft exhale escaping her, "Life is too short to hold onto grudges, darling. You're trying to be someone you aren't, trying to become someone you can't, and that's never the answer."

Mikasa blinked a couple times, watched her mother rise from her seat and lean closer to her over the table, then press a pointed finger to her chest.

"The answer is always there." The mother smiled, "The heart always tells you what you want with a clear voice, but we choose to ignore that voice because we think it's wrong, because we're too scared to listen to it, because we've lost so much…"

Mikasa shook her head, "I trusted my heart before, and that's the exact reason why I am where I am."

"And was it all bad from the start?" the mother sat back down, brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, "Or does one mistake erase all the good deeds prior to it?"

Mikasa's eyes escaped her mother's once more, stared at nothing in particular, and she held the cup of tea with both her hands, letting her fingers toy with it as a means for distraction.

"The choice is yours no matter what, my dear, and I'm with you to the end." the mother reached a hand across the table to hold Mikasa's, wrapping her fingers around it lovingly, "All I want is to see you smile again like you did before, to see you happy with or without the person you love."

Mikasa looked down at the table where her hands joined with her mother's, and she held onto it tightly. "I'll make sure to live with the choices that I make…" her voice was dry, eyes dull as she pondered a thought in her mind; a lesson that she learned from the very person that made her the way she was now. "I can't pretend that the past never happened, and I can't change it either. All I can do is try to live my life without regrets."

* * *

With the start of a new year, Mikasa was back in the city a month later. She sat in a café, at a table outside, where her hot cup of coffee sat, the white steam stemming from it coloring the cool air and fading away eventually.

Mikasa's eyes moved to the side, spotting a figure approach her table, and her head turned slightly to identify the person before gazing away into the distance once again.

She was quiet as Petra took a seat across from her, placed her purse on the table and observed the view with her.

Petra let the air blow through her hair gently, and her hand lifted to tuck a few strands behind her ear. "I heard your father passed away… I'm really sorry for your loss." Her voice was calm and sincere.

"Thanks…" Mikasa muttered, her eyes still refusing to acknowledge the other's existence.

There was silence then, and Petra allowed it to last a few moments so she'd enjoy the view of the city around them; cars driving by, busy stores, big commercial screens displaying all different types of ads, people walking around the crowded streets.

A frown made its way onto her face eventually, and her lips parted with a sigh, "I didn't know… I swear." Her eyes were back on Mikasa now, "I had no idea that you and Levi were engaged… I didn't even know he  _was_  engaged… He never told me…"

Mikasa shrugged, "And you never asked…"

Petra tilted her head down, averting her gaze from Mikasa to stare blankly at the surface of the table, "Levi… isn't really the social type. He doesn't talk a lot, especially not about his personal life. I'm sure you already knew that, though."

Mikasa's head turned at last, her dark eyes falling upon Petra's figure, her lips remaining sealed shut as she simply listened to the woman.

"No one in the office knew more than I did about him. Despite that, he never strikes you as a bad person." Petra's lips curled up slightly, "I was new in the company, lonely in a strange place, and I felt like such a black sheep." She wrapped an arm around herself and shivered slightly, maybe over the cold weather, or maybe over the cold memory, "One day I was leaving work, and this random guy on the street tried to steal my purse." Her eyes brightened up slightly when she said the next words, "I was scared, didn't know what to do, but Levi stepped in. He kicked the living hell out of that man, and returned my purse to me."

Mikasa's eyes widened ever so slightly, but only for a brief moment as she assumed her cool gaze almost instantly.

Petra looked up again, meeting her eyes once more, "That was the first time I felt welcome in that place, and the first time I didn't feel so lonely. Levi didn't do it because he wanted me to be indebted to him. He did it because it was the right thing, and expected nothing of me in return. I was still thankful to him, though. I wanted to somehow return that favor."

Mikasa sucked in a breath through her nose, swallowed hard and evaded Petra's gaze, her hold around her cup of coffee tightening.

"I just wanted a friend." Petra couldn't help a chuckle, "Most of our conversations were about work and nothing more… and then one day I noticed that he's been really stressed all week long, and I wanted to cheer him up."

* * *

 _"Hey, Levi!"_  she approached his desk slowly with a wide smile filling her cheeks.

He looked up at her from over his laptop, his eyes narrow and lips curled down.

 _"Um…"_  she paused, let out a nervous chuckle before proceeding,  _"Well, I was just wondering if you'd like to maybe go grab some dinner together after work."_

Levi's brow arched,  _"Thanks, but I'll pass."_

Petra drew her brows together and let out a soft sight,  _"It doesn't have to take long. There's just this really nice restaurant that I found, and I thought that maybe—"_

 _"I appreciate it."_  He cut her off,  _"But I'm busy with other things tonight."_

 _"Oh."_  Petra crossed her arms in front of her,  _"Are they the same things that have been making you look constipated all week long?"_

Levi looked at her, surprise written in his face, mostly at the joke she made.

She giggled,  _"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to steal your joke."_

For the first time that week, his expression softened a little bit, and there was a hint of a smile on his face,  _"It's fine. I still can't go though."_

 _"You can't, or you don't want to?"_ Petra's head tilted to the side,  _"Look, whatever it is that's keeping you busy doesn't look like it's making you happy. Why don't you take a break from it, just for one night? Maybe that's all you need. Stop worrying about it for a bit and focus on something else."_

Levi was quiet, his eyes fixed on his laptop screen as he seemed to ponder her offer.

 _"I promise you, it's a really good restaurant."_  Petra insisted,  _"Besides, when was the last time you went somewhere that wasn't home or work? Your brain is probably going to explode from that routine."_

 _"The routine doesn't bother me."_  He shrugged.

 _"You only say that because you haven't tried something different yet."_  She scoffed, " _Trust me, try spending one night outside of your home, and you'll see how big of a difference that'll make. It'll feel like you're starting your life anew. It's not like we don't have great hotels around the place. There are plenty you can go to."_

Levi leaned back against his chair, crossed his arms against his chest and raised a brow.

 _"You won't regret this, I promise!"_  Petra murmured sweetly, and Levi finally let out a heavy sigh of defeat.

 _"Fine."_  He breathed,  _"I'm in."_

Excitement filled Petra's voice upon hearing that,  _"Awesome! We'll go after work then!"_

Levi gave her a simple nod, watched her walk away from his desk and back to hers, and a curious Hitch met his eyes once Petra was out of his sight.

 _"What?"_  he muttered.

Hitch merely shrugged at him,  _"Nothing."_

When it was time for them to leave work and call it a day, Levi stayed in the office a bit longer, his phone in his hand, Mikasa's name reflecting on his eyes as he stared into the screen.

With a heavy breath, he dialed her number and pressed the phone to his ear, and shortly after she answered.  _"Hey."_

 _"Hey…"_  Mikasa sounded groggy.

 _"You okay?"_  his eyes narrowed slightly in concern,  _"You sound tired."_

 _"Yes…"_  she yawned,  _"I was asleep… I'm okay. Are you leaving work now?"_

Levi gulped,  _"Yeah… not really. I'm…"_

_"Is everything okay?"_

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed,  _"All's good. I just… won't be coming home tonight. I have some stuff to take care of… with work, and I'll need to be in the office really early too."_

 _"Oh."_  He could already hear the disappointment in her voice,  _"So I can't see you tonight?"_

Levi frowned,  _"Did something happen?"_

 _"Well…"_ she heaved a breath and looked over at the nightstand, where her pregnancy test results sat, and she eyed them for a moment in silence before sighing,  _"I wanted to show you something, but it's fine. It can wait a while."_

He was quiet for a moment,  _"You know, I can probably get out of it. I'll talk with the boss and—"_

 _"No, it's okay, really."_  She said urgently,  _"Your work is important too. I know you've been working really hard to get that raise, and I'm sure you will soon enough. Trust me on that one, we'll need the extra money."_ She had a faint smile on her face as she rested her hand over her belly, rubbing it gently.

 _"Yeah…"_ he breathed out, his chest heavy with slight guilt.

 _"It's really nothing that can't wait."_ She reassured him, _"I mean, as long as you're not going to be away for months at least. You do what you have to do, and we'll talk again when you're home."_

_"You sure?"_

_"Yes."_  She sounded sure,  _"Plus I'm really tired anyways. I haven't even cooked dinner yet. I'll just eat some leftovers and go to bed."_

_"Okay."_

_"Take care of yourself. I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

The intention was simple; take a break from work and enjoy a harmless outing with a coworker for a bit of a change, some food here, a couple glasses of alcohol there, some banter, and that was the plan.

Petra was drunk, because apparently she couldn't handle her drink and Levi only found that out after her second glass of alcohol, when she started rambling some nonsense, and he couldn't understand anything she said beyond that.

He had her arm wrapped around his shoulder as he helped her walk with him to his car. He'd have to drive her home, and then go find himself somewhere to stay. That was assuming he could even get her home address from her, which at this point was seeming more and more unlikely to him.

 _"Can you stand still?"_  he asked as he helped her lean against the car so he could open the door for her.

Petra watched him quietly, a soft gaze on her face, and when he turned again, she grabbed him by the tie and pulled him in,  _"You know… I always wanted to tell you… You're actually really handsome up close."_

Levi furrowed his brows slightly at her, and held her hand to pull it away from him, but she stood tall on her toes and reached in for a sneaky kiss.

A kiss he didn't pull away from, for in that moment of surprise it took him a while to realize what was happening, to remember that he was an engaged man and that she had no idea.

He pulled away, held her by the shoulders and kept her at a distance,  _"Just… get in the car."_

 _"I'm serious."_  Petra leaned forward and rested her head against his chest,  _"You're really warm."_

Hitch was watching everything from the window of her car with a wide open jaw, and she saw Levi pick up Petra in his arms, and lay her inside the backseat of his car as he drove away soon after.

She followed him, trying to keep a safe distant from him when he parked by a hotel, and helped Petra out as they walked into the building.

 _"Holy shit."_  Hitch gasped. She reached for her purse on the passenger seat to tug out her car quickly. She dialed Rico's number fast and pressed the phone to her ear as it rang,  _"Rico, you won't believe what I just saw!"_

 _"Oh, boy!"_  Rico breathed,  _"What, is it some kind of cheap fifty percent-off type of deal at your favorite mall? I don't have time to go out. I'm cooking."_

 _"No, no!"_  Hitch cut her off,  _"It's about your neighbor; that scary looking woman, she's engaged to my coworker right? Levi?"_

 _"Uh!"_  Rico paused for a moment,  _"Not that I care to know. Why?"_

_"I think he's cheating on her."_

_"What?"_

_"I just saw him…"_  Hitch said,  _"He went out with one of our coworkers. They had dinner together and I don't know what…"_

 _"You know you can have dinner with people without it being romantic, right?"_ Rico let out a heavy breath,  _"Or did you think all those times we went out together for food were actually dates?"_

Hitch scoffed, _"Okay, what about kissing then? Is that romantic enough for you to count?"_

_"They were kissing?"_

_"Yeah, and then he picked her up bridal style and put her in his car, and now they're at a hotel."_

_"You've got to be kidding me."_  Rico blurted,  _"Did you seriously stalk your coworkers?"_

 _"Does it matter if I did?"_ Hitch huffed,  _"You should be thankful to me. I'm saving your neighbor from committing the biggest mistake in her life."_

 _"I don't even like that girl."_  Rico claimed, but she considered her friend's words for a couple moments before sighing,  _"But alright, come over. We'll talk about this and then see what to do."_

Mikasa still remembered that night, when her neighbor randomly knocked on her door, and she found her outside her apartment with her friend. She wasn't sure what brought them there. Mikasa and Rico weren't close by any means. In fact, they argued more than they got along, and yet for some reason she wanted to go inside her apartment now, and even brought a friend along.

She let them in anyways, walked them to the living room where they sat, and she stood in front of them with her arms crossed before her.

Rico eyed her awkwardly, and then started, _"Look, I know you're probably wondering why the hell are these two, random women visiting you at this hour—"_

 _"Yes."_  Mikasa nodded, cutting her off,  _"Why are you visiting me at this hour?"_

 _"Well, see, thing is…"_  Hitch sighed,  _"If you remember, I'm your fiancé's coworker, Hitch."_

Mikasa rolled her eyes in disinterest, _"Levi isn't here, you should know that, so why did you come to see me?"_

 _"Because I know where Levi is."_ Hitch claimed, and could see suspicion in Mikasa's eyes,  _"He's… with one of our coworkers…"_

 _"I would assume so."_ Mikasa shrugged, _"He told me he's got work to do."_

 _"Oh?"_ Hitch raised her brow and scoffed, _"Did he also tell you that he went out on a date with her and is now at a hotel with her?"_

Mikasa's gaze sharpened, _"What are you talking about?"_

Rico interrupted briefly to explain,  _"Hitch saw him leave with a woman, to a hotel…"_

Mikasa paused at that, watched the two women in front of her with a dull gaze before she muttered, _"Right, and I see the two of you getting the hell out of my apartment."_

 _"No, it's true!"_  Hitch exclaimed, almost jumping out of her seat,  _"I saw him. He was with Petra; the new girl."_ She explained even though she knew Mikasa would have no idea who she meant by that, _"They went out for a drink, made out, and then they went to a hotel. I followed them, and I can even give you the address if you want to go see for yourself."_

 _"Hitch, calm down."_ Rico nudged her shoulder, _"Maybe let's talk about this calmly first."_

 _"Discuss this calmly?"_ Hitch snickered, _"Those two are probably going to be fucking all night long and you want to discuss this calmly?"_

 _"You don't have to say it like that."_  Rico let out a frustrated huff.

 _"Well, that's probably what they're doing anyways."_ Hitch crossed her arms tightly in front of her,  _"And by the time we're done discussing this calmly, they'll have had their fun and been done with it."_

Mikasa couldn't comprehend what was happening, what Hitch was saying, what Rico was telling her. She could only focus on the sour taste that burned her throat, and she covered her mouth with her hand as she rushed to the bathroom, dropping to the floor before the toilet as she ducked her head into it to throw up.

Rico and Hitch followed her soon, and Rico approached her from behind to hold her hair back for her, wiping gently on her head as Hitch stood by the door.

 _"Look, Mikasa… I'm sorry. You probably didn't want to know from us, or from anyone… but we couldn't just sit and do nothing."_  Rico explained, watched the girl sit back on the bathroom floor, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as the other gripped tightly onto her shirt, resting over her belly,  _"Trust me, it's better this way if—"_  Rico paused for a second when noticing the way Mikasa was rubbing her belly, staring blankly into the air.

 _"Hold on…"_ Rico's eyes widened,  _"Are you…?"_  realization started to seep in slowly,  _"You're not pregnant, are you?"_

At that, Mikasa sat on her knees again and hovered over the toilet, coughing her lungs out into it as Hitch and Rico exchanged worried gazes.

They helped her back in bed, and Rico covered her body with the sheets, then sat next to her. She saw the papers on her nightstand and picked them up, reading through them to confirm her suspicions.

She let out the longest breath as she placed them back down in place, looking over at Mikasa now.  _"You should rest."_  She murmured softly.

 _"Rest…"_ Mikasa mumbled, her voice low and faint,  _"How?"_  her eyes averted to Rico's then,  _"Tell me, how do I rest? Because I really don't know. I feel numb, tired… but I don't think I can sleep tonight. I feel sore but nothing really hurts… and none of this feels real to me…"_

 _"Ah, you're… in shock."_  Rico sighed, rubbing her shoulder calmly,  _"I know that feeling too. When I learned that my husband was cheating on me…"_

 _"Levi isn't cheating on me."_ She snapped,  _"He would never do that to me, ever."_

 _"Well…"_  Hitch heaved a breath,  _"I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine what I saw, darling."_

 _"You don't know him."_ Mikasa pressed, eyeing her darkly.

 _"I work with him. I've worked with him for quite a long time now—"_ she argued.

 _"You don't know him."_  Mikasa insisted, her eyes piercing through Hitch's grimly,  _"Levi is a good guy—he's good to me. He loves me."_

Hitch pressed her lips together for a moment before waving her arm about and sighing,  _"You can never tell what's going on in men's heads—"_

 _"Maybe you can't. But I do."_  Mikasa stated, " _If I didn't know him, I wouldn't be marrying him, or living with him, I wouldn't be having his baby. I know him. He can be upset with me, disappointed in me, but he'd never do anything like that. He would never even think about it."_

 _"You're in denial, darling."_  Hitch rolled her eyes.

Mikasa sat up, her fists clutching tightly around her bed sheets,  _"I'm not in denial. I know my fiancé."_

Hitch leaned against the door and looked down at her seriously,  _"Why don't you call him, right now, see what he's up to? Something tells me he's not going to tell you that he's at a hotel fucking another woman, though."_

 _"I already talked to him, and he told me he was busy with work. That's all I need to know."_  Mikasa said, her voice shaking slightly,  _"He's been working hard to get a raise, so we can save up money for the wedding and so we can buy a house. That's the kind of man Levi is."_

 _"Yeah."_  Hitch mocked,  _"Apparently he's also a cheating asshole on the side."_

 _"No."_  Mikasa's eyes filled with tears, her teeth gritting hard,  _"I know that… that I haven't been fair to him lately, that I've pushed him away, neglected him… I didn't know what was going on… but he understands me. He'd never hold it against me. He's happy with me regardless, because he loves me so much."_

 _"Oh boy…"_  Hitch rubbed the back of her head,  _"This is going to be a long night."_

Rico let out a soft sigh as she patted Mikasa's shoulder gently and laid her back down on the bed,  _"You need to sleep, Mikasa, and when you wake up you'll—"_

 _"No… I don't need to sleep. I need to wake up… from whatever nightmare this is."_  She sobbed,  _"This can't be… happening. It shouldn't be. It's wrong… and doesn't make any sense…"_

Mikasa didn't know how she ended up in Rico's arms, but when her tears finally dried and the world stopped spinning around, she found herself resting her head on Rico's lap as the latter stroked her hair slowly and gently.

She pushed off her in an instant, wearing nothing but a dull face, her eyes puffy and rosy, her face pale.  _"Give me the address."_  She murmured, and her voice was raspy.

Rico's eyes widened. _"Mikasa, maybe you should just wait for him to come back so you can talk it out—."_

 _"Give me the address to that hotel."_ She ignored Rico and insisted, her eyes meeting Hitch's.

 _"Uh…"_  Hitch stuttered,  _"O-okay…"_  Hitch tugged out a pen and piece of paper from inside her purse. She scribbled the address on it quickly and gave it to her.

Mikasa took the paper, looked at it intently, and then spoke,  _"Now leave."_

 _"Mikasa…"_  Rico started.

 _"Leave."_  Mikasa glared at the two of them,  _"Get out of my home. I don't want to see your faces in front of me right now."_

Rico eyed Hitch for a second then nodded at her as she got up from the bed. She looked down at Mikasa one more time and said,  _"I'm sorry, Mikasa. No one ever deserves to go through this."_

 _"I said: leave."_  Mikasa shouted angrily at the two, and without another word, they left the room and then the apartment and she sat on her empty bed by herself, eyeing the piece of paper that Hitch gave her with a most dark gaze.

The next morning she drove straight to that hotel.

* * *

Petra sucked in a breath before releasing a long sigh, "To be quite honest with you, I don't remember what happened that night. All I remember is waking up in the morning alone in bed, with a terrible hangover."

Mikasa almost scoffed at how convenient that was, but she remained silent, holding back from showing much emotion.

Petra noted her silence, wasn't sure if she were even listening to anything she'd been saying to her, but decided to continue regardless, "I got a call later on that day, was told that Levi got into an accident… and I…"

Mikasa looked at the woman in front of her, saw her bite her lower lip harshly as she gulped, and Mikasa's brows arched when finally noticing tears in the other's eyes.

"He wouldn't have been at that hotel if I hadn't asked him out that night. Levi wouldn't have had to drive after you, wouldn't have gotten into an accident, wouldn't have forgotten about you… He wouldn't have fallen into coma… None of this would've happened... if I had just taken a no for an answer—" she cried, "It's my fault too, you know, not just his." And when she looked up at Mikasa again, there was the guiltiest smile shaping her lips as she added, "I did this to the both of you… and I'm really sorry."

Mikasa could tell she was being genuine. It was all clear from the look on her face, the sound of her voice, yet still her dull expression didn't even shake, not even slightly, nor did she find anything to say in turn at all.

Petra sniffled a little, trying to hold back from crying, "I'm sure he regrets nothing more than having gone out with me that night. I swear to you, had I known that he was in a relationship; I wouldn't even have bothered trying. I would never want that to happen to anyone, just as much as I wouldn't want it to happen to me."

Mikasa finally forced a smile, "Well, you didn't know…"

Petra paused. She could tell Mikasa wasn't all that interested in hearing her apologize, could tell that she wasn't going anywhere with this, so she decided to cut short and get to her point, "I… I don't know… what you and the old Levi had… but I know that he loved you…" she started, "The Levi who woke up from that coma, not remembering anything about what happened… he loved you so much."

Mikasa could only sigh, "I'm sure he no longer does…"

"After you left him, in the airport… He remembered everything, and told me about it from the beginning… so many things I didn't know." Petra breathed, "It was quite the shock."

"Why are you telling me this now?" Mikasa's eyes glistened with a hint of sadness that she tried to hide as best as she could behind furrowing brows, "What's the point?"

"He's gone…" Petra broke the news, and only then did Mikasa look at her, "I don't know where to. He never told me, but I lost contact with him a couple weeks ago. I tried everything that I could to reach him, but none of it worked. He quit his job, told me he was leaving somewhere far away, that he was sorry for everything he'd done to me… to the both of us."

Mikasa's gaze sharpened, remembering when he showed up at the cemetery, how she told him off and left, and she never saw him again since then.

"He was… so lost… so broken. I could tell that ever since he woke up from that coma. Something in him changed." Petra looked down, "But then you came again… He met you in that hotel, and I started noticing the change in him—he was becoming the Levi I used to know from the office, the one who was distant from me; the one who had someone else in his life, more important than me." A silly smile settled across her cheeks, "You can't imagine the many nights he woke up, terrified from all the nightmares he'd have. I've never seen him sleep in peace until he met you again. I've never seen him so happy before. I could see it in his eyes, and all of it makes sense now."

Mikasa's lips parted, as though she had something to say, but nothing came out, and so she pressed her lips back together into a thin line and looked down, avoiding the other's gaze.

"Mikasa, I know that he hurt you…" Petra placed her hand on the table, half wanting to reach for Mikasa's, "The old Levi hurt you so much, and maybe you don't care about him, but you had no right to punish the Levi you met in the hotel for something he didn't do, or at least, didn't remember doing…" her hand retreated back to her lap, squeezing her coat, "If you didn't love him so much, if he didn't mean the world to you, you wouldn't do that. I know you still love him. I know that… behind that heart full of hatred for the Levi who broke you, there's so much affection for the Levi who fell in love with you."

Mikasa's eyes burned, red seeping into them as she fought the tears that started forming within them, but she held them back with all she got, prevented them from falling, for she knew very well what that would mean. She wasn't ready to welcome weakness back into her heart, to admit what she'd been trying to deny for the longest time. She wasn't about to make the past few weeks of her life another one of her big mistakes and regrets.

Petra hissed, her grip around her coat tightening, "I loved him too, you know? I still do, even after learning the truth. You spent more time with him than I did, and I'm sure that you know him better than me." she cried, "Please don't hurt him more. You know what it's like, how bad it is to go through, so please don't do the same thing to him. Find him; I'm sure that you can. Forgive him, because I know you'll find it in you if you search well enough. Help him fix his mistakes, because you know he'd do the same for you." she pleaded, "I wasn't the one supposed to be with him when he woke up from that coma, when he was so lost. Now he's lost again, and it's your chance, your choice to make things right again."

But Mikasa gave no response, said nothing to her, and merely drowned in silence, her gaze averting back to the city. Petra stared at her, her breath hitching as she picked herself up, and walked away, leaving her to her thoughts.

When Mikasa returned home that evening, she took a shower, wrapped her body up in a towel once done and walked to her bedroom.

She opened the first drawer of her dresser to get out her hairbrush, when her eyes landed on something familiar that stole her attention away; the necklace that she got during her trip to that hotel, the one that reminded her of nothing but the family she was supposed to have.

She'd wanted to throw it away multiple times, had even done it a few times, but she always dug it out of the trash again, kept it inside her drawer because looking at it occasionally was more comforting than she liked to admit.

She picked it up carefully, and looked at her reflection in the mirror as she put the necklace on, letting it rest around her neck.

She touched the wings with the tips of her fingers lightly, and closed her eyes, letting out a soft breath, voices from different flashbacks filling her head, and she placed a hand on her head, holding it tightly.

_"You're still wearing the necklace…"_

_"It's a lovely necklace."_

_"Remember… we're a family anyway…"_

_"Tell me about your family…"_

She remembered those words she'd said to him, that night he visited her suite, and her eyes opened again, wide with sudden realization.

* * *

"Do you remember what happened last time you decided to go alone on a short trip?" Historia crossed her arms against her chest, "I don't think this is a good idea, honey. I had a bad feeling about it then, and I have a terrible feeling about it now too."

She stood in Mikasa's bedroom, watching her pack a bag, getting some clothes from the closet and walking back to the bed where the open bag was.

"You're overreacting." Mikasa shrugged.

"I'm—" Historia scoffed, " _I_ 'm overreacting? Which one of us went on a trip to get revenge on her cheating ex-fiancé who was suffering from amnesia?"

"Yeah, well…" Mikasa huffed, "That's not why I'm leaving this time."

"I don't believe you." Historia shook her head, "I'm coming with you, like it or not."

"You're not coming with me. I started this and I'm finishing it." Mikasa said confidently, "Plus, I thought you and Eren had a date tonight."

Historia's cheeks flushed red, "Don't change the subject! My date with Eren has nothing to do with what you're doing."

"Are you sure it doesn't? It kind of sounds like you're looking for an excuse not to go out with him because you're too nervous about it." Mikasa teased.

"Sh-shut up. That's not true." Historia claimed, her arms crossing in front of her.

Mikasa rolled her eyes, "That doesn't sound very convincing."

"Mikasa, I'm serious!" Historia argued, "Don't go."

"I'm sorry." Mikasa smiled, "I have to. Otherwise I'll never be able to live with myself again…"

Historia frowned, but said nothing in turn.

"I promise…" Mikasa closed her bag and approached her friend, placed her hands on her shoulders and looked at her reassuringly, "I'll be fine this time."

"That's what you said last time." Historia huffed, "I don't trust you anymore."

Mikasa smiled, then hugged her friend tightly, "Thank you for everything, Historia, really. I couldn't ask for a better friend."

"You're just saying that to convince me to leave you be." Historia pouted, but eventually gave in and returned the hug, tightly, "I worry about you a lot, you know? You're my best friend."

"I know."

Historia pulled back slightly to look into Mikasa's eyes, "Are you sure about this?"

Mikasa was quiet, and she eyed the bag on her bed for a long moment before finally nodding her head and meeting her friend's eyes again, "I am."

* * *

Mikasa still remembered a time when she asked Levi about his family and past. He told her about the humble life he had with his mother. They had a tiny house in an old, forgotten neighborhood, far away from the city. He told her that the only pretty thing there was in his neighborhood was winter, when it would snow and all the houses and streets would be covered in a pure, white coat, hiding away all its flaws and leaving nothing but a beautiful sight to admire.

He told her how much he enjoyed playing in their small front yard with his mother, building snowmen and having snowball fights.

He told her that he loved the place, despite the terrible state it was in, all run-down and old. He told her about how his mother fell ill, and he was the only one there to take care of her, cook for her, clean around the place and do what he could.

Mikasa remembered when he took her to that house once, because she'd insisted on it, and he'd argued that the neighborhood wasn't so much of a safe place anymore, that all kinds of criminals and perverts lived in it, that his childhood home was no longer the place it used to be, that it had fallen apart after his mother passed away and he moved out.

She insisted, however, and eventually he gave in to her pleas.

The place looked the same still, she thought as she entered that small yard, looking about her, at the old garden tools lying around on a small table that sat near the garage, the neatly trimmed bushes, and clean porch. The place definitely looked old still, but she noticed a bucket of paint lying around with a few paint brushes, and that some of the walls were recently painted over with a fresh, beige color. Despite this place being so old and supposedly run-down, it was still clean and well-organized; definitely had a Levi touch on it.

She observed the place carefully and walked to the staircase, sitting there as she waited.

It took him a while but he came. He was walking with a bunch of grocery bags in his hands, and paused at the front of his house when spotting her there, his eyes widening.

He almost dropped the groceries when he saw her get up and step down from the staircase, and he thought maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him, making him see things, but she stood before him and she was as real as she could ever be.

Mikasa held her hands together, trying to form something coherent to say, "Hi." She murmured.

Levi released a breath he didn't know he was holding, as if hearing her voice was the pinch on the cheek he needed to wake up from whatever daydream he was having. "You're… what—how did you…"

"Do you need help with the groceries?" she eyed the bags in his hands, the way he was holding them and how they could fall at any given moment.

"No…" he shook his head and fixed his hold around the bags. He needed help with other things though, like figuring out why the hell she was here and how she got here.

Mikasa stood there in front of him, looking into his eyes for a long moment and then asked casually, "Can we go inside?"

Levi stared at her dumbfounded, but nodded and proceeded to walk. He held the groceries in one hand and got out his keys with the other, opening the door to his humble abode and stepping to the side to let her in.

Mikasa walked into the house, closing the door behind her before she stood in her place and looked around her, observing her surroundings. Most of the furniture was timeworn and shabby, clearly hadn't been used in a while, but she could see a few things that looked relatively new, like the kitchen sink that looked like it had just been mounted, and she guessed that maybe he had to replace it because the old one was broken or something like that.

Her eyes fell on him again as she said, "This place suits you… It's old and rusty, just like you…"

He placed the groceries down on the kitchen counter and turned to look at her, confused, a billion questions in his mind but none of them forming properly enough to fit into words.

"You seem to be holding up just fine…" Mikasa trailed a finger over the old couch in the living space, then looked over at him, "Do you miss the city?"

That question itself felt like a trick, and his eye twitched slightly at it. He didn't quite miss the city itself, but mostly things that were in it; like her for example, and he wondered if she expected him to say that. Regardless Levi gave a shrug, "It's not so bad living small."

"That's not what I asked." She said and leaned against the couch.

Levi heaved a sigh, "No." a lie, but he didn't think she'd appreciate his honesty. "Why are you here?" he finally asked.

"You're not happy to see me?" she tilted her head to the side and eyed him questioningly, though her voice held a hint of tease in it and he could almost taste it in his mouth.

"Seeing you is not the problem." He explained, "Are  _you_  happy to see me?"

"I guess that'll depend on a few things." She crossed her arms against her chest and held his gaze, "Are you still a cheating asshole?"

His chest tightened, his gaze falling apart from hers, "I'm…"

"Petra talked to me…" she began, knowing he probably had nothing to say, "She told me everything… about you two."

Levi felt disgusted in his own body, couldn't look up at her anymore, but had to listen to her regardless, because she had every right to be angry with him, every right to blame him and hate him—he felt the same way about himself.

"You're a mess…" she let out a soft breath, "But then again so am I… I hated you so much. I couldn't bear the sight of you. Everything you said, or did, made me feel sick to the stomach." She paused, biting her inner cheek before continuing, "You… ruined me. I wanted to ruin you just as bad. I wanted to see pain in your eyes, to make you understand what it's like…"

Levi heaved a breath and pressed his lips together as he finally gathered the courage to meet her eyes again, but he had nothing to say to her. He deserved it, all of it. He didn't deserve someone as good as her, or Petra, no. Perhaps he spent hours a day trying to keep his living space as clean as possible, but there was no way for him to clean the mess he'd made in their lives, or his for that matter. What he did disgusted him, made him sick too, and he couldn't take it back or fix it.

"Now I see pain in your eyes." She mumbled, "But I don't feel the satisfaction I sought… It doesn't make me happy… doesn't make me feel proud… it only makes me feel empty."

Levi sucked in a sharp breath, his heart skipping a beat when seeing her push away from the couch and make a few steps closer to him.

"I thought I'd move on after I got what I wanted, but…" she slowly undid the buttons of her coat and took it off, throwing it over to the couch, "I was wrong. I still think about it all, every time I go to sleep, every time I wake up, every time I eat, every time I  _breathe_. And I hate the fact that I can't hate you, more than anything."

"I'm not worth hating…" Levi mumbled pitifully.

"No, you're not." She shook her head, "But you're worth more; a second chance that I wasn't ready to give."

"I don't deserve a second chance—"

"If I don't forgive you for what you did to me… I wouldn't be able to move on." She interrupted him before he'd say more, "I'd live the rest of my life despising you for it, remembering every small detail of it, and I'll be stuck there for the rest of my life."

Levi looked into her eyes for a long moment, and murmured in a deep voice, "I don't deserve a second chance, Mikasa."

"I do, though." She cut him off again and held his gaze, "Petra is a really good person… She bore no hatred towards you, even though she knew what was happening. She was ready to forgive you and try again because she loved you that much… Maybe my love for you wasn't selfless after all."

"Mikasa, don't." he shook his head at her, "Don't try to make it sound like any of it was your fault, like you were responsible for anything that happened. You don't need to share the blame—"

Mikasa's lips pressed into a thin line as her eyes filled with burning tears, "You… ruined me." She hissed, "But I don't know how to stop thinking that I ruined things just as much… If I had, at least, given you a chance, listened to you…"

"Stop it." He snapped, "I don't blame you for anything you did, so don't."

"You know I'm too proud to admit it." She sniffled and stepped closer, "Why didn't you stay? Why didn't you try again, and again? Prove me wrong, show me that you really loved me—remind me that I loved you just as much… more than I'd ever be able to hate you?"

"You're right." He admitted, his hands falling to his sides helplessly, "You're entirely right. I messed up, and didn't even try hard enough to own up to it. I ran away like a coward, didn't fight for you… and you have every right to—"

"I forgive you." She mumbled, and stood before him, a foot keeping them apart, "I forgive you, Levi…"

There was nothing he could answer with to that but complete silence, his eyes wide as he looked into hers.

"I thought that… trying to move on and forget was the hardest thing but… In reality, finding the strength to forgive is much harder. I was angry with you, hated your guts…" she cried, "But I love you."

She hesitantly touched his chest, let her hand move up slowly, and she rolled down his collar, exposing his neck, and the item that wrapped around it; the necklace that matched the one she had. She tugged it out swiftly and let it rest over his shirt, and they stared into each other's eyes for a moment before she threw her arms around his neck and held onto him tightly.

"I love you." She whispered softly, and felt his arms slowly wrap around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Tell me that you love me…"

"I…" he took a breath, then slowly shut his eyes and sighed, "I love you…" he held her to him tightly, inhaled her scent as he buried his face into her neck. "I love you."

Mikasa's body relaxed against him, his warmth wrapping her up before she pulled slightly back to catch his gaze. "Show me…" she whispered against his mouth, and could see his eyes widen when she tugged at his jacket and took it off him, "I want to see—feel it."

Levi's head tilted to the side when feeling her finger stroke his cheek and he leaned forward, stealing her lips in a rough kiss, and his arms wrapped tightly around her, lifting her off the floor as her legs wrapped around his waist.

Longing for her had become his constant companion over the time he'd been gone. He'd only had her memories and his regrets to live with, and though it was an acknowledged fact that he missed her, he only just now realized  _how much_  he missed her, when her lips were on his, as soft and sweet as ever, and her body was pressed to his, just as warm and perfect as he remembered it, when they fell on his bed naked, their clothes scattered around the floor, and he kissed her all over, every bit of skin his lips could find, everything his hands could touch, and he loved all the sounds she made as he did that.

They were breathless when they finished, both lying on their backs underneath a blanket that he pulled over them, and Mikasa scooted closer to him, rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around him, relishing in the warmth his body provided her with, the only warmth that could make her feel cozy on the inside, make her feel at home.

He held her to him, stroked her back with his hand slowly and gently and he planted a kiss to the crown of her head.

There was a faint hint of a smile that rested across his face, savoring the moment with all its beauty and perfection, before a frown stole him away, for as much as he wanted to make love to her, as much as he enjoyed it, it only made him remember the one question that haunted him for so long, the one question he desperately needed an answer for, because he never got the chance to ask.

"You were pregnant." He started, and felt her body tense up at that, "You… didn't get an abortion, did you?"

Mikasa was silent, a grim expression settling on her face, and her body slowly shifted off of his as she sat up, looking down at him with her dark eyes.

Levi frowned, "You… lost the baby..."

She didn't let him finish, and pressed a finger to his mouth, shutting him up as her head shook. She pulled her finger away soon, trailed her hand down his body before finding his hand and holding it tightly, reassuringly, "It's never late to start over, right?"

Levi blinked, unsure why she was repeating what he'd said to her back at the hotel, wondering how that was supposed to make him feel better about the fact that he ruined everything they were going to have between a moment and the other, but he felt her take his hand and bring it to her body, resting it on her belly before rubbing over it gently.

He met her eyes, stared into them for a good moment, and it took him another to understand. He sat up immediately, his eyes wide with shock and a hint of disbelief, "Wait… You don't mean…"

Her gaze fell away from his shyly, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this without your knowledge. I lied to you about being on birth control at the time… I just…" she sucked in a sharp breath, "I really wanted to have this…" she rubbed her belly over his hand, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips, "But I don't want to have it alone, not anymore… because we're a family."

Family. The word rang in his head repeatedly, and his eyes fell on the necklace she wore around her neck, the same as the one he still wore around his, the one thing that reminded them both of the future they dreamed of and couldn't have.

His hand shook a little as it moved over her still flat belly, trying to sense the life that would soon be part of them—the life that was  _already_  a part of them, because they were a family. His arms were around her waist in a heartbeat, holding her firmly as he surrounded her in a tight embrace, his face buried into her neck.

She cupped his face with both her hands and nuzzled his hair, breathing in his scent with closing eyes and a wide smile shaping the curl of her lips.

She'd searched long enough for what she'd wanted, had felt lost and broken, unfixable, and she'd denied what her heart had been constantly screaming at her because she was afraid of being heartbroken again, afraid of losing the one thing she'd never want to lose over and over.

But in the end, family was the one and only answer her heart ever gave her when she thought about the two of them, about the things they'd done, the things they'd had, the things they'd lost, and it had made them who they'd become.

In a perfect world, they'd have been married, with a little child, living in their own home, and they would have been happy. Or not. Because a perfect world didn't exist, and it was between all those flaws and imperfections that beauty hid, the kind that was born out of love and not selfishness, the one that was born out of sacrifice and not grudge, the one that was born out of patience and not expectations. There was always bad in the good, and there was always good in the bad.

And family made all of that worthwhile.

Family erased all doubts and questions, for nothing else rang stronger.

_The End._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who read this story and followed it all the way through, whether you're an old reader or a new one, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts if you haven't already. I would really like to hear them.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> If you are an old reader and are familiar with the original one, here’s a list of changes to make it easier to understand.
> 
>  
> 
> **Changes made to the story:**
> 
>   * _Characters are more in-character._ Levi no longer talks his way into people’s pants, Mikasa doesn’t have a potty-mouth, and everyone is overall less of an OOC mess.  
> 
>   * _Mikasa’s family background is different._ Because it makes more sense this way.  
> 
>   * _Annie is replaced by Sasha._ Other than her name having been Annie, she was, indeed, more of a Sasha. I emphasized it more in this version.  
> 
>   * _The writing is less cringey._ I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22. My 18 year-old self did not know what she was doing.  
> 
>   * I’m actually more proud of this one.
> 

> 
> That’s all for now!


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